I am not what you would call a survivor yet… my husband blindsided me, making me believe that he was Mr. Nice Guy and that we were soulmates.
I was so stupid to ignore all of the warning signs and am so angry at myself. Him, I don’t feel sorry for at all and look at him with disgust and disdain. He knows his tricks don’t wash with me anymore, so he hides from me in our rec-room, staring at the tv set every chance he gets.
He is a porn addict and masturbates everyday…prefers girls between 16-20 years old. I seem to disgust him sexually. He always seemed to have someone on the side, now that I look back.
Now things are coming out of the woodwork…nylons (not mine) underwear, tops, in the wash..which he suddenly decided to do on his own. Texts from women that he claimed he did not know
He has not been intimate with me in 8 years…blaming me of course..I never said no..he did! He was always too tired…
Things began to escalate pretty quickly as he was arrested for domestic abuse with a no contact order.
He controls every aspect of my life and especially the finances… so I got the Crown Attorney to drop the charges after 5 months…BIG MISTAKE!!! He was injured by my audacity to call the police and has punished me every day because of this.
He has shut off my landline phone for a day, the tv, smashed my laptop, thrown full beer cans and 10 lb. weights at me, bully’s me, threatens me and uses the silent treatment to abuse me further. He has isolated me…on and on.
Most recently he looked at me and said: “you are going to die soon!”
The last time the police were called they told me that unless I contributed financially to the bills/rent that he had every right to do as he pleased. I showed them my bruises, they told me that they looked old? Even with blood trickling down my arm?
I will NEVER call the police for help again! I am at a loss now…
I stay barricaded in my bedroom..avoid him… and don’t speak! I have nowhere to go as he has smeared my good name to family and friends.
I have no money, as he controls every cent.
Even so, he is NOT worth taking my own life for… I am here for the duration and hold my head up and try to stay strong with God’s help.
I do wish that Karma will come to him soon because I was a naïve, loyal wife who did everything in her power to make him happy. I don’t have any regrets this way…only the regret of ever caring for this sick psychopath!
TRUST YOUR GUT…LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS AND GET THE HELL OUT… DON’T HESITATE!