I set out to make a three-minute video with the basics of how to deal with a psychopath in an effort to help more people than the victims who managed to make their way into my office. Thankfully, victims of predatory psychopaths are more rare than you might think, on the other hand, they are also more common, but they are separated by social culture and geography.
I thought my video, if I could do it well enough, would be able to help people quickly identify and take proactive action to protect themselves from further being victimized by the psychopath.
I failed to achieve the three-minute target. The best I could do was ten-minutes. Here is the video:
I felt good about the final, still short, video about having given people enough tools to identify a potential psychopath and take action.
When I released this short film, I also was introduced by the idea that haters abound on the Internet, and they will attack you publicly if you try to do something meaningful, good, and from the heart. Following my initial shock of being attacked by haters and psychopaths for releasing the short, I settled into the knowing that even they are only doing the best they can, and I stopped taking their attacks personally.
My feelings were hurt, at first, just like anyone’s would be (that’s the response the haters want to initiate because they get an emotional hit, a thrill, from having an emotional impact on others, and there’s no better way to do it, than anonymously via the Internet).
By day, these might be normal factory or government workers who feel like they are not appreciated, their efforts are disregarded, they are underpaid, overworked, or even abused by management, and when they get home, lashing out at others via the World Wide Web gives them a sense of relief.
This was not the first time I was attacked via social media, so I should have seen it coming.
Since then, I have helped others who have stepped out in faith, baring their souls, recover from the onslaught of haters. It is a thing. Try not to take it personally, because it really has very little to do with you. Treat them just as you would a psychopath; do not respond or try to defend yourself, as that will only fuel their fire of viciousness.
Don’t let them drag you into their web of drama by responding to any false accusation they’ve made. I know when someone falsely accuses you, you want to defend yourself, but don’t do it. And if one of your friends reads their ridiculous accusatory post and questions you about it, don’t respond to them either. If you respond to your friend at all, just say, “You should know me better than that.”
If you do not respond, the haters don’t get the thrill, and they will move on to someone else who they can get riled up.
6 Steps to Stop a Psychopath
While you may not be able to stop a predatory psychopath from victimizing others, you can stop the victimization and/or abuse that you are suffering by following these six steps.
The first thing you want to do is to not have any contact with them. “No contact,” means no contact. Cut them off, insulate and isolate yourself from immediately, once you have identified your psychopath.
Don’t try to negotiate, have a rational conversation, or intervention with your psychopath, you will only be wasting your breath and they will use any attempt you make to rectify the situation with even more victimization. Don’t do it.
They will take any opportunity to draw you back in, so they can re-abuse you, and it will be worse the next go-round.
Block them. Block them from everything. Get a protection order. There is a legal piece of paper that you can get from your local courthouse which is referred to as a “No Contact” order. Once the judge signs it, and it has been served, if the psychopath contacts you, you can call 911 and have him or her arrested.
The predatory psychopath will say or do anything to pull you back in, to further victimize you, as long as you still have something, they can take from you. Once they’ve wiped you out of everything, even your will to live, you become meaningless to them, and they move on to the next victim.
This is not the kind of thing that you are likely to navigate in a vacuum. It is extremely advantageous to seek out assistance, being sure to get the help that you can, while you search for more qualified help. Dealing with a psychopath is tricky business, and you want someone who is experienced in this area, like a psychopath victim recovery coach. Avoid seeking help from individuals who may be connected to your psychopath in any way.
Be quiet about your troubles and interactions with your psychopath. Do not speak about it to family or friends. Why? Number 1: Because the average person who has not been victimized by a psychopath will have no idea what you are going through, and the stories that you would tell – as true as they are – will be unbelievable to someone who doesn’t know any better.
Plus, from people who don’t understand, they are likely to give you really bad advice. They might say something like, “If it were me, I’d beat him with a baseball bat, and drag his bloody carcass through the streets, for all the world to see.” It’s really easy to take on a Clint Eastwood persona, when everything you learn is from TV and the movies. They have no idea what your psychopath is capable of.
Stay away from these reckless individuals, at least while you are trying to establish safety, security, and a healing environment for yourself.
Number 2: Most importantly, your psychopath will be infiltrating your family and friends, will be turning your words and actions around to make you look bad, sick, violent, or even insane. If compromised, your family, friends, and coworkers will be undercover spies for your abuser, collecting and reporting what you say and do to him or her behind your back, while they appear to be caring and compassionate to your face.
Talking about your experience must only be done in a safe environment to people you can trust.
This is the time to establish your own independence. Set boundaries. Build a fortress around your heart and yourself to protect you from any further victimization. If your psychopath is not finished with you, he or she will say or do anything to woo you back into the fold so that you can be further victimized.
It will take a lot of inner strength to see this through, and you have all the strength within you that you will need. How do I know? Because if it were anyone else, they would have been dead by now.
You are stronger than you think, and you have everything you need inside you. Keep yourself safe and secure, using the resources which are available to you.
This will not be easy, but you can do it.
My favorite is to document everything. This is really the only solid tool that you have, and I don’t care what your doctor, psychiatrist, or law enforcement has to say about it, document everything.
It may not make sense now, the Sheriff or police officer might roll their eyes as you make yet another report about someone who they think is not a bad guy. They might say under their breath, as you approach them, “Oh, jeeze, here comes that paranoid, crazy person who has it out for that poor guy again.” Don’t let them dissuade you. Do it anyway.
You may need this data in the future, because if you find yourself having to tangle with this predator in court, where he or she might be facing prison time, he or she will do everything they can to turn it around on you, and get you thrown in prison.
In law enforcement, it is said, “If it isn’t documented, it didn’t happen.” So, document everything and report incidents as they happen, if you can.
When I was in the process of documenting everything, hundreds of things started happening to me, and I reported as many of them as I could, and in most cases, it could have never been proved that Richard did these things or had them done. So, the authorities started to think I was a nut-job, but I continued to report them as they happened when I could. I wasn’t leaving without a report number.
On one instance, I reported my break lines being cut, and there were rumors spread by Richard accusing me of doing things to myself in an effort to frame him. Don’t let these things get to you. These people can’t help it, if they don’t know any better. Keep documenting.
Every once in a while, you might accidentally end up with proof to back up one of you (previously thought of as “crazy” reports) thanks to unintentional third-party intervention (thank heaven for 7-11 surveillance videos).
You must have grace and compassion for yourself. Be willing to forgive yourself, first and foremost, for any part that you may have played, as you were being played by the predatory psychopath.
It’s easy to beat yourself up and blame yourself for getting into this psychopathic entanglement but be steadfast in your knowing that you were not at fault here. You were stalked and attacked by a cunning predator hell-bent on your destruction.
These six steps are not complete, by any means, but if you have fully engaged in the second step, the “get help,” this assistance will help to fill in the gaps of anything other steps you might need to take which are specific to your situation and your psychopath.
I would never devalue your being victimized by a predatory psychopath. On the contrary, your victimization is a blessing. Not in the moment, by any means. But the world needs empowered survivors or psychopathic abuse to help others, and to raise awareness in both counseling and law enforcement communities about the realities of this segment of our society.
Most people are forever wounded and afraid of ever speaking or doing anything about the subject, and who could blame them?
But you may be one of those who were called to fight the good fight, and help others who need someone who knows what they are going through.
You, and only you, could be hugely supportive to someone who is feeling as though they are drowning in psychopathic trauma, because you know what it’s like. You’ve been there, and you’ve come out on the other side of it. This can give someone else who is suffering or suicidal tremendous hope.
In this way, your psychopathic experience could be considered a “gift” one day, as you go on to live a better life, your best life, and even help to make the world a better place.
You might even like to become a Certified Psychopath Victim Recovery Coach.