Psychopath Victims

6 Steps to Stop a Psychopath

I set out to make a three-minute video with the basics of how to deal with a psychopath in an effort to help more people than the victims who managed to make their way into my office. Thankfully, victims of predatory psychopaths are more rare than you might think, on the other hand, they are also more common, but they are separated by social culture and geography.

I thought my video, if I could do it well enough, would be able to help people quickly identify and take proactive action to protect themselves from further being victimized by the psychopath.

I failed to achieve the three-minute target. The best I could do was ten-minutes. Here is the video:

I felt good about the final, still short, video about having given people enough tools to identify a potential psychopath and take action.

When I released this short film, I also was introduced by the idea that haters abound on the Internet, and they will attack you publicly if you try to do something meaningful, good, and from the heart. Following my initial shock of being attacked by haters and psychopaths for releasing the short, I settled into the knowing that even they are only doing the best they can, and I stopped taking their attacks personally.

My feelings were hurt, at first, just like anyone’s would be (that’s the response the haters want to initiate because they get an emotional hit, a thrill, from having an emotional impact on others, and there’s no better way to do it, than anonymously via the Internet).

By day, these might be normal factory or government workers who feel like they are not appreciated, their efforts are disregarded, they are underpaid, overworked, or even abused by management, and when they get home, lashing out at others via the World Wide Web gives them a sense of relief.

This was not the first time I was attacked via social media, so I should have seen it coming.

Since then, I have helped others who have stepped out in faith, baring their souls, recover from the onslaught of haters. It is a thing. Try not to take it personally, because it really has very little to do with you. Treat them just as you would a psychopath; do not respond or try to defend yourself, as that will only fuel their fire of viciousness.

Don’t let them drag you into their web of drama by responding to any false accusation they’ve made. I know when someone falsely accuses you, you want to defend yourself, but don’t do it. And if one of your friends reads their ridiculous accusatory post and questions you about it, don’t respond to them either. If you respond to your friend at all, just say, “You should know me better than that.”

If you do not respond, the haters don’t get the thrill, and they will move on to someone else who they can get riled up.

6 Steps to Stop a Psychopath

While you may not be able to stop a predatory psychopath from victimizing others, you can stop the victimization and/or abuse that you are suffering by following these six steps.

No Contact
Get Help
Be Quiet
Stay Strong
Documentation
Forgive you

No Contact

The first thing you want to do is to not have any contact with them. “No contact,” means no contact. Cut them off, insulate and isolate yourself from immediately, once you have identified your psychopath.

Don’t try to negotiate, have a rational conversation, or intervention with your psychopath, you will only be wasting your breath and they will use any attempt you make to rectify the situation with even more victimization. Don’t do it.

They will take any opportunity to draw you back in, so they can re-abuse you, and it will be worse the next go-round.

Block them. Block them from everything. Get a protection order. There is a legal piece of paper that you can get from your local courthouse which is referred to as a “No Contact” order. Once the judge signs it, and it has been served, if the psychopath contacts you, you can call 911 and have him or her arrested.

The predatory psychopath will say or do anything to pull you back in, to further victimize you, as long as you still have something, they can take from you. Once they’ve wiped you out of everything, even your will to live, you become meaningless to them, and they move on to the next victim.

Get Help

This is not the kind of thing that you are likely to navigate in a vacuum. It is extremely advantageous to seek out assistance, being sure to get the help that you can, while you search for more qualified help. Dealing with a psychopath is tricky business, and you want someone who is experienced in this area, like a psychopath victim recovery coach. Avoid seeking help from individuals who may be connected to your psychopath in any way.

Be Quiet

Be quiet about your troubles and interactions with your psychopath. Do not speak about it to family or friends. Why? Number 1: Because the average person who has not been victimized by a psychopath will have no idea what you are going through, and the stories that you would tell – as true as they are – will be unbelievable to someone who doesn’t know any better.

Plus, from people who don’t understand, they are likely to give you really bad advice. They might say something like, “If it were me, I’d beat him with a baseball bat, and drag his bloody carcass through the streets, for all the world to see.” It’s really easy to take on a Clint Eastwood persona, when everything you learn is from TV and the movies. They have no idea what your psychopath is capable of.

Stay away from these reckless individuals, at least while you are trying to establish safety, security, and a healing environment for yourself.

Number 2: Most importantly, your psychopath will be infiltrating your family and friends, will be turning your words and actions around to make you look bad, sick, violent, or even insane. If compromised, your family, friends, and coworkers will be undercover spies for your abuser, collecting and reporting what you say and do to him or her behind your back, while they appear to be caring and compassionate to your face.

Talking about your experience must only be done in a safe environment to people you can trust.

Stay Strong

This is the time to establish your own independence. Set boundaries. Build a fortress around your heart and yourself to protect you from any further victimization. If your psychopath is not finished with you, he or she will say or do anything to woo you back into the fold so that you can be further victimized.

It will take a lot of inner strength to see this through, and you have all the strength within you that you will need. How do I know? Because if it were anyone else, they would have been dead by now.

You are stronger than you think, and you have everything you need inside you. Keep yourself safe and secure, using the resources which are available to you.

This will not be easy, but you can do it.

Documentation

My favorite is to document everything. This is really the only solid tool that you have, and I don’t care what your doctor, psychiatrist, or law enforcement has to say about it, document everything.

It may not make sense now, the Sheriff or police officer might roll their eyes as you make yet another report about someone who they think is not a bad guy. They might say under their breath, as you approach them, “Oh, jeeze, here comes that paranoid, crazy person who has it out for that poor guy again.” Don’t let them dissuade you. Do it anyway.

You may need this data in the future, because if you find yourself having to tangle with this predator in court, where he or she might be facing prison time, he or she will do everything they can to turn it around on you, and get you thrown in prison.

In law enforcement, it is said, “If it isn’t documented, it didn’t happen.” So, document everything and report incidents as they happen, if you can.

When I was in the process of documenting everything, hundreds of things started happening to me, and I reported as many of them as I could, and in most cases, it could have never been proved that Richard did these things or had them done. So, the authorities started to think I was a nut-job, but I continued to report them as they happened when I could. I wasn’t leaving without a report number.

On one instance, I reported my break lines being cut, and there were rumors spread by Richard accusing me of doing things to myself in an effort to frame him. Don’t let these things get to you. These people can’t help it, if they don’t know any better. Keep documenting.

Every once in a while, you might accidentally end up with proof to back up one of you (previously thought of as “crazy” reports) thanks to unintentional third-party intervention (thank heaven for 7-11 surveillance videos).

Forgive You

You must have grace and compassion for yourself. Be willing to forgive yourself, first and foremost, for any part that you may have played, as you were being played by the predatory psychopath.

It’s easy to beat yourself up and blame yourself for getting into this psychopathic entanglement but be steadfast in your knowing that you were not at fault here. You were stalked and attacked by a cunning predator hell-bent on your destruction.

These six steps are not complete, by any means, but if you have fully engaged in the second step, the “get help,” this assistance will help to fill in the gaps of anything other steps you might need to take which are specific to your situation and your psychopath.

I would never devalue your being victimized by a predatory psychopath. On the contrary, your victimization is a blessing. Not in the moment, by any means. But the world needs empowered survivors or psychopathic abuse to help others, and to raise awareness in both counseling and law enforcement communities about the realities of this segment of our society.

Most people are forever wounded and afraid of ever speaking or doing anything about the subject, and who could blame them?

But you may be one of those who were called to fight the good fight, and help others who need someone who knows what they are going through.

You, and only you, could be hugely supportive to someone who is feeling as though they are drowning in psychopathic trauma, because you know what it’s like. You’ve been there, and you’ve come out on the other side of it. This can give someone else who is suffering or suicidal tremendous hope.

In this way, your psychopathic experience could be considered a “gift” one day, as you go on to live a better life, your best life, and even help to make the world a better place.

You might even like to become a Certified Psychopath Victim Recovery Coach.

How to Deal with a Psychopath Video

Hello, my name is David Masters and I’m the author of the Psychopath Victims Toolkit.

A little about me, I’ve been counseling and consulting since the late seventies/early eighties. Occasionally, in the course of my coaching, I would encounter a client that had to mitigate the damages in their life due to the influence of a third-party individual, a “bad person.”

From my perspective, there were no such thing as bad people, just lost souls wandering aimlessly through life with little regard for others; and so, the advice that I gave to individuals in those days was very different than I might suggest now.

What I learned, was that there are people who are devoid of particular mental, emotional and spiritual components that compromises their humanity when integrating with other persons, we call these people psychopaths, sociopaths and the recent, more political correctly referred to as being on the Antisocial Personality Disorder spectrum.

That said, there are thousands of variables and no two psychopaths are identical, but they do share many similar characteristics.

So, how can you tell if you’re dealing with a psychopath? Here are some common signs that would indicate that you might be dealing with a psychopath in your life:

1. CHARISMATIC

Psychopaths are charismatic and are able to attract supporters easily.

They are wonderful speakers who are able to engage their audience and can easily engage the emotions and attention of those fortunate enough to be in their presence.

They exaggerate stories skewing the truth for their self-serving benefit, and will go as far as to lie and place themselves in someone else’s story and claiming it is their own.

2. SMART

Psychopaths are intellectual. They have a gift of having incredibly sharp wit and intelligence enabling them to masquerade as highly-educated as they bob and weave socially in live situations.

This also makes them excellent con artists able to conceive, plan and execute elaborate schemes, while staying one step ahead of the authorities.

3. NO FEELINGS

Psychopaths have no feelings. They do not grieve, are incapable of feeling guilt, shame or remorse, empowering them to easily victimize anyone. They will enthusiastically engage in anything that bolsters their position at someone else’s expense.

They do not love. They are incapable of giving or receiving love, but terribly acute at acting as though they are madly in-love, if it will help them achieve a desired result.

They are great actors/performers giving them the ability to create any perception of themselves that will achieve for them their desired result.

Even though they can appear to have emotions and use them as tools to manipulate their victims, let there be no doubt, they have no real feelings whatsoever.

4. IMPULSIVE

Psychopaths are impulsive, often acting or speaking without thinking through potential consequences of their words or actions, and are more likely to spontaneously take risks.

They are free of repercussion, since they see themselves as above the law or the constraints of the social norm. No social filters, consequences or guilt.

5. WINNERS

Psychopaths never lose. They will dominate anyone who gets in their way, will viciously defend their position, often by telling lies and spinning wild tales in an effort to discredit anyone with the inclination to disagree with them.

If you are naïve enough to challenge them, be aware that they will wield their powers of persuasion to make you look like a fool for questioning them. Which presumes that they believe themselves to be:

6. NEVER WRONG

Psychopaths are always right. They never apologize; do not feel remorse for hurting others and are incapable of feeling guilt.

If asked to apologize, a psychopath will often strike out and attack their victim, rather than admit they may have made a mistake or misstep.

Now ask yourself, is the person you’re dealing with a psychopath?

Are they charismatic, smart, have no feelings, impulsive, always the winner and never wrong?

Chances are, you’re face-to-face with a psychopath.

You’re probably saying to yourself, “I knew it. I knew there was something wrong with that person…” You are realizing that you should rely more on your intuition that may have been warning you when you first met this person that something was not quite right. If only we learn to listen more to our gut, we would live happier, safe and secure lives, free from those who seek to exploit us.

If nothing else, that is the lesson to be learned from encountering a psychopath, is to trust your instincts and to not let yourself be taken advantage of by a cunning predator.

I would not, now, be an expert in the field of psychopathy had I not had my own first-hand experience with an evil psychopath that opened my eyes to the realities of the disorder. And now I have deep regret for all the folks that I was ill-equipped to be compassionate enough to reach out to them appropriately.

In this way, I may have attracted this psychopathic presence in my own life to benefit those whom it is my calling to assist along their life’s journey.

So, we’ve established that you have found yourself to be the unfortunate victim – or mark – of a psychopath, sociopath or someone amidst the antisocial personality disorder spectrum…

What Can You Do About It?

How to Deal With a Psychopath

1. NO CONTACT

The very first thing to do is to crate as much separation as you can as soon as possible between yourself and the psychopath.

You need to distance yourself physically, financially, emotionally, spiritually and in any other way possible from the psychopath and cease any and all communication with him or her, period.

Any further communication or contact after correctly identifying a psychopath will only lead to more risk, or potential loss to you and yours.

Be aware that as you distance yourself, the psychopath will try to cling to you or play on your emotions in order to further victimize you. Do not fall for their manipulation or pity ploys from this point forward. They will try to appeal to your feeling but keep in mind they have no feelings and no regard for yours, except as a method to further victimize you.

You must cut them off. No contact, means no contact. Though this may not be possible, if you work or live with the psychopath; but that will be an issue to be handled specifically and independently of the scope of this primary message.

2. GET HELP

Next, you will need a strong support system. You should seek out a professional, a counselor or therapist, with experience in dealing with psychopaths. Note that early in my practice, even though individuals sought me out for assistance, I was ill-equipped to offer them the support that they needed at the time.

How can someone understand what you are going through, if they do not understand what you are going through… because – and I am as guilty of this as anyone – “things can’t really be all that bad.” But they are, and they can be very bad, and they can get worse if you do not take the appropriate actions.

Seek out a specialist, or at least someone with experience dealing with victims of psychopaths.

3. BE QUIET

Do not talk to your friends about the psychopath. You might think this is a good time to reach out to those in your circle of friends that you can depend on for support, but chances are (if the psychopath has done his or her homework) they have already gotten to them in advance.

If your friends have not been compromised by the psychopath, there is a good chance that they will be, and be forewarned very few people can compete with the ability to manipulate the minds of the unsuspecting, like the psychopath.

Keep things quiet. Do not confront your psychopath, engage in a battle of wits, challenge or attempt an intervention with your psychopath. This will only open you up for further potential pain, suffering and potential loss.

They psychopath has the uncanny ability to turn anything that you say against you. Don’t give them the opportunity.

4. STAY STRONG

Stay the course. If the psychopath has counter-attacks you, don’t respond.

If you communicate anything to this person it should only be silence. Be steadfast and unshakeable, solid as a rock.

He or she must realize that you cannot be manipulated or be bullied into making any kind of response, no matter what they do or say.

Keep a good posture, positive outlook, smile and be confident (even if you don’t feel like it) at all times.

Any indication of weakness will be seen as an opportunity either to insert themselves or launch another attack.

5. DOCUMENTATION

Document everything. Keep hard copies of everything you can to document any interaction or statements made by your psychopath and keep it at a secure location.

Watch what you say. Act as if every word you speak is being recorded, and may be read to a jury in the future word-for-word and spun out of context in an effort to make you look like a lunatic.

So, don’t hold onto the false hope of one day being vilified of all the illicit accusations that were made against you. In most cases the effects are permanent, though may fade over time. Maybe, in the afterlife…

6. FORGIVE YOURSELF

Most of all, forgive yourself. You were not the perpetrator, here, you were the victim. And as a victim you may have found yourself in vulnerable or compromising situations, and you may feel like the fool. But you were not the fool. Anyone could be victimized by the proficient psychopath and it happens every day in all walks of life and levels of society.

You could not have seen this coming… but now that you are aware, you are less likely to become a victim again… and maybe you can help others to see the signs – or at least be aware – that there are evil people out there, the virtual wolves in sheep’s clothing, who seek to destroy the lives of others without remorse.

Thank you for joining me for this message. It is my hope that this information will help to save you and other from further potential pain, suffering or loss at the hands of the psychopath. Pass this information on to others who may be potential victims.

For more information, or to contact me, visit psychopath victims dot com.

How to Deal With a Psychopath

Hopefully, prior to reading this document you have adequately discovered that you are dealing with a genuine psychopath. Note that though this document refers to a “psychopath,” that title can be used synonymously with sociopath, narcissistic and anti-social personality disorders, amongst others. Diagnosis can be difficult… Why? Because chances are, you are a genuinely good person who believes the best about others, and it is hard to imagine that this person, the one you trusted, is not who you thought he or she was.

how-to-deal-with-a-psychopath-you-tube-video-link-image How to Deal With a Psychopath Video

How to Deal With a Psychopath

When dealing with a psychopath, you must do it from a position of strength and honor. You must accept the fact that you are dealing with a psychopath – not to be confused with a “serial killer.” They get the most press, but only represent 1 in 30,000 psychopaths – and get prepared for what lies ahead. Most psychopaths move through life undetected.

No Contact

First things first: You must cease to have contact with the psychopath. This is easier said than done. Of course the complexity of cutting ties with a psychopath depends on the severity of your involvement with him or her. If your relationship was somewhat casual, then breaking ties may be easier. If your relationship was a business relationship of romantic relationship, it will be a tougher go to break it off. Deciding to stop participating with the psychopath is the first step but is worthless without taking action to actually curtail any and all communication or interaction with this predator.

Keep it on the down-low

Use stealth technologies. This is to say that you should be extremely cautious and secretive about your cessation of psychopathic interaction. Do not attempt to confront your psychopath, or schedule a group intervention. This will backfire big-time.

As much as you might like to warn others about the psychopath… don’t do it. The sad truth is that psychopaths are masters at spinning truth and accusations into counterattacks laser targeted at you and your weaknesses that will leave you wondering what happened and asking, “Why me?” because you were the “good guy” just trying to keep other people from being hurt; yet now, you are the bad guy.

Get Back-up

Next, you will need a strong support system. You should seek out a professional, a counselor or therapist, with experience in dealing with psychopaths. You are going to need someone in your corner to keep you focused on your ongoing health both psychologically and physiologically because in the event that the psychopath is unwilling to let you go peacefully, things could get very ugly indeed. You might think that your friends will comprise a good support system… although you may find that if your psychopath saw this coming, he or she may have been already working over your friends, spreading false stories about you, so much that by the time you turn to them… it is they who think that you are the psychopath (though they will be afraid to confront you with these thoughts to your face). Your friends may be a good support system if he or she hasn’t already poisoned them against you.

Protect Yourself

Protect your assets. Psychopaths are all about draining their victims, not only of their emotional wellbeing, but also everything that you may have, including money, power, status or reputation and any other possessions. If they see you as a possible threat to their successful existence and ongoing manipulation of others, they will seek to destroy you and will be hell-bent on seeing you lose everything. It’s really not that they need to have your things for themselves; it’s just that they are driven to see that you are left completely desolate. This is the price they demand that you pay for not continuing to be victimized by them. Don’t let them do it. Do what you can to preserve anything that you have left, if it’s not too late.

If you value your job, it’s best to have a chat with management and let them know that you are the unwilling participant in a psychopathic relationship, and that you are taking steps to exit the relationship and cut all ties. This is a preventative step, in the event that the psychopath intends to get you ousted from your position at work. This is a common psychopathic assault, and if they have been forewarned, they may be less likely to believe the ill reports that start coming in, like, you’ve been stealing from the company, selling drugs, or whatever stories they might concoct to discredit you in an effort to get you fired.

Once the psychopath realizes that you are avoiding them, not participating or interacting with them and have become un-scammable, they will (if they haven’t already) begin to bad-mouth you if they feel you might have knowledge of their psychopathy. In some cases, as rare as it may be, if your relationship has been a fringe-relationship, and they do not feel as though your existence will be a threat to their ongoing manipulation of others, they may simply let you fade into the shadows and ultimately disappear.

Be Unshakeable, A Rock

Stay the course. If the psychopath has counter-attacked you, do not respond. If you communicate anything to this person it should be silent and unshakeable, solid as a rock. He or she must realize that you cannot be manipulated or goaded into making any kind of response, no matter what they do or say. Keep a good posture, positive outlook, smile and be confident (even if you don’t feel like it) at all times. Any indication of weakness will be seen as an opportunity either to insert themselves or launch another attack.

Preserve Your Rep

Protect any reputation that you might have left. Psychopaths have an uncanny ability to sway the opinions toward themselves and away from whomever they target. Try not to take this personally. I know it can be hard to lose the support of friends, family, co-workers and possibly the community in general, but you cannot fault the individuals who have succumbed to the psychological spells of the prolific psychopath.

The psychopath must save face. In the eyes of the greater community, they must be seen as innocent victims, and they are very adept at taking on this task, with no regard of whose reputation will be ruined in an effort to substantiate their perceived position in society.

Be Prepared for The Worst

Without the courtesy of being read your Miranda Rights, the psychopath will use anything that you have said, or will say, against you

Expect the attacks, defamation, slander, the denials, the, “that was the past,” and, “Oh, that was entrapment,” claims that they were set-up or conned. These attacks may present themselves in any way possible. If you interact via the Internet, be aware that your social media contacts are standard prey for a psychopathic assault. Facebook friends, twitter followers, friends and associates via linked-in or any other social media is fair game, and the psychopath will not hesitate to launch a social media campaign against you.

Document Everything

Document everything. Keep hard copies of everything you can to document any interaction or statements made by your psychopath and keep it at a secure location. Watch what you say. Act as if every word you speak is being recorded, and may be read to a jury in the future word-for-word and spun out of context in an effort to make you look like a lunatic.

Maybe someday the people who once trusted you will see the truth, but even so, if your psychopath was a masterful one, they will still wonder about you, even after the true colors of the psychopath are made known. So, don’t hold onto the false hope of one day being vilified of all the illicit accusations that were made against you. In most cases the effects are permanent, though may fade over time. Maybe, in the afterlife…

Forgive Yourself