Hopefully, prior to reading this document you have adequately discovered that you are dealing with a genuine psychopath. Note that though this document refers to a “psychopath,” that title can be used synonymously with sociopath, narcissistic and anti-social personality disorders, amongst others. Diagnosis can be difficult… Why? Because chances are, you are a genuinely good person who believes the best about others, and it is hard to imagine that this person, the one you trusted, is not who you thought he or she was.
How to Deal With a Psychopath Video
How to Deal With a Psychopath
When dealing with a psychopath, you must do it from a position of strength and honor. You must accept the fact that you are dealing with a psychopath – not to be confused with a “serial killer.” They get the most press, but only represent 1 in 30,000 psychopaths – and get prepared for what lies ahead. Most psychopaths move through life undetected.
First things first: You must cease to have contact with the psychopath. This is easier said than done. Of course the complexity of cutting ties with a psychopath depends on the severity of your involvement with him or her. If your relationship was somewhat casual, then breaking ties may be easier. If your relationship was a business relationship of romantic relationship, it will be a tougher go to break it off. Deciding to stop participating with the psychopath is the first step but is worthless without taking action to actually curtail any and all communication or interaction with this predator.
Keep it on the down-low
Use stealth technologies. This is to say that you should be extremely cautious and secretive about your cessation of psychopathic interaction. Do not attempt to confront your psychopath, or schedule a group intervention. This will backfire big-time.
As much as you might like to warn others about the psychopath… don’t do it. The sad truth is that psychopaths are masters at spinning truth and accusations into counterattacks laser targeted at you and your weaknesses that will leave you wondering what happened and asking, “Why me?” because you were the “good guy” just trying to keep other people from being hurt; yet now, you are the bad guy.
Next, you will need a strong support system. You should seek out a professional, a counselor or therapist, with experience in dealing with psychopaths. You are going to need someone in your corner to keep you focused on your ongoing health both psychologically and physiologically because in the event that the psychopath is unwilling to let you go peacefully, things could get very ugly indeed. You might think that your friends will comprise a good support system… although you may find that if your psychopath saw this coming, he or she may have been already working over your friends, spreading false stories about you, so much that by the time you turn to them… it is they who think that you are the psychopath (though they will be afraid to confront you with these thoughts to your face). Your friends may be a good support system if he or she hasn’t already poisoned them against you.
Protect your assets. Psychopaths are all about draining their victims, not only of their emotional wellbeing, but also everything that you may have, including money, power, status or reputation and any other possessions. If they see you as a possible threat to their successful existence and ongoing manipulation of others, they will seek to destroy you and will be hell-bent on seeing you lose everything. It’s really not that they need to have your things for themselves; it’s just that they are driven to see that you are left completely desolate. This is the price they demand that you pay for not continuing to be victimized by them. Don’t let them do it. Do what you can to preserve anything that you have left, if it’s not too late.
If you value your job, it’s best to have a chat with management and let them know that you are the unwilling participant in a psychopathic relationship, and that you are taking steps to exit the relationship and cut all ties. This is a preventative step, in the event that the psychopath intends to get you ousted from your position at work. This is a common psychopathic assault, and if they have been forewarned, they may be less likely to believe the ill reports that start coming in, like, you’ve been stealing from the company, selling drugs, or whatever stories they might concoct to discredit you in an effort to get you fired.
Once the psychopath realizes that you are avoiding them, not participating or interacting with them and have become un-scammable, they will (if they haven’t already) begin to bad-mouth you if they feel you might have knowledge of their psychopathy. In some cases, as rare as it may be, if your relationship has been a fringe-relationship, and they do not feel as though your existence will be a threat to their ongoing manipulation of others, they may simply let you fade into the shadows and ultimately disappear.
Be Unshakeable, A Rock
Stay the course. If the psychopath has counter-attacked you, do not respond. If you communicate anything to this person it should be silent and unshakeable, solid as a rock. He or she must realize that you cannot be manipulated or goaded into making any kind of response, no matter what they do or say. Keep a good posture, positive outlook, smile and be confident (even if you don’t feel like it) at all times. Any indication of weakness will be seen as an opportunity either to insert themselves or launch another attack.
Preserve Your Rep
Protect any reputation that you might have left. Psychopaths have an uncanny ability to sway the opinions toward themselves and away from whomever they target. Try not to take this personally. I know it can be hard to lose the support of friends, family, co-workers and possibly the community in general, but you cannot fault the individuals who have succumbed to the psychological spells of the prolific psychopath.
The psychopath must save face. In the eyes of the greater community, they must be seen as innocent victims, and they are very adept at taking on this task, with no regard of whose reputation will be ruined in an effort to substantiate their perceived position in society.
Be Prepared for The Worst
Without the courtesy of being read your Miranda Rights, the psychopath will use anything that you have said, or will say, against you
Expect the attacks, defamation, slander, the denials, the, “that was the past,” and, “Oh, that was entrapment,” claims that they were set-up or conned. These attacks may present themselves in any way possible. If you interact via the Internet, be aware that your social media contacts are standard prey for a psychopathic assault. Facebook friends, twitter followers, friends and associates via linked-in or any other social media is fair game, and the psychopath will not hesitate to launch a social media campaign against you.
Document everything. Keep hard copies of everything you can to document any interaction or statements made by your psychopath and keep it at a secure location. Watch what you say. Act as if every word you speak is being recorded, and may be read to a jury in the future word-for-word and spun out of context in an effort to make you look like a lunatic.
Maybe someday the people who once trusted you will see the truth, but even so, if your psychopath was a masterful one, they will still wonder about you, even after the true colors of the psychopath are made known. So, don’t hold onto the false hope of one day being vilified of all the illicit accusations that were made against you. In most cases the effects are permanent, though may fade over time. Maybe, in the afterlife…
Most of all, forgive yourself. You were not the perpetrator, here, you were the victim. And as a victim you may have found yourself in vulnerable or compromising situations, and you may feel like the fool. But you were not the fool. Anyone could be victimized by the proficient psychopath and it happens every day in all walks of life and levels of society.
You could not have seen this coming… but now that you are aware, you are less likely to become a victim again… and maybe you can help others to see the signs – or at least be aware – that there are evil people out there, the virtual wolves in sheep’s clothing, who seek to destroy the lives of others without remorse.
88 thoughts on “How to Deal With a Psychopath”
I am a victim…posted guide me more
my husband is highly psychopatic i cant deal till the end of my life,,i get hypertension high bp ulcer double vision bcoz of troubling me..what to do/ pls advice
This is all happening to me since oktober 2013. It is the most terrible thing that a person can endour. The triple psychopath connection is destroying my life. I feel I cant trust anyone and everythng mentioned in the article is correct. I choose to have faith but sometimes its so hard.
Sorry, Ayesha, for what you’re enduring at this time. I have stood by and watched my sister endure the same from a so called friend who talked and forced her way into my sister’s life by feigning to be just like her and mingled with her childhood friends. She even copied her stories and made them her own. After 5 years of friendship, my sister decided that she had seen enough of this psychopath’s character and called it quits. UNBELIEVABLE on how Ms. Psychopath reacted and literally took my sister’s friends and tried to get her fired from her job. Everything the article reads is right on.
The good thing is that we saw Ms. Psychopath as a gift that cleaned up my sister’s so called friends, making it possible for her to make new friends that are much more compatible with her. Cleaned house, if you will. My sister has remained silent and strong and has risen above the ashes. You can too! Just remember that if your friends are that easily swayed by lies and false charm, they are not what you want in your arena when a really important situation arises. Stay quiet and stay strong. Good luck to you.
I am dealing with a psychopath. I have just begun to find this out. I was curious as to wether or not they are aware of what they are doing. How can he cause so much pain and then be so charming. It’s as if he is clueless to what he is doing…
I know how it feels….. probably most of the people who read this post have a psychopath or supect of having one in their lifes. Im in progress of geting rid off my wicked parent. And you mist never give up no matter how hard it can get the probability of winning is still there and that i will have hope as soon as it isnt 0÷
I’m just now realizing that my Mom is a psychopath. I wanna die. But in my eyes suicide is a golden ticket to hell. God put me for a reason, and if I off myself, he’ll be pretty mad that I didn’t trust in him or Jesus. So, that’s what I got for now, this is unfolding as I type. I do have support though, my wife’s family, and my 5 month old daughter. She has a smile and glow that could shine through the night. Thanks for your post. It helped.
Stay strong Mark. Life will get better for you and your family. Remember stay solid and quiet of your psychopath. Take care.
Mee too..and my life is ruined
My step daughters going through all of this in sequence too, from ex boyfriend the death threats, betrayal, lies, social media and focusing on other members of the family, trying to ruin their lives by informing employers of slander against them.
It’s sick and the only way to deal with it from a fathers point of view forgive me for mentioning “but take the prick out!!!” I know 2 wrongs don’t make a right but it eliminates the cause..Get a gun Hun, protect yourself..
Best of luck
I am married to one for less than a year and i have wondered for a while what his problem was it all made sense ro me i couldnt begin to sum up everything i have seen in just one word till now. It is exhausting but i will not play the games and so on ans it makes him so mad. If you can spot one of them monsters keep the bloodsuckers away.
Melissa, you will not be able to stay with this person. Your life will become unbearable, so if you can go before its to late. I have only realised in the past few months that the person I have been having an affair with was one. He lives in India so a lot of our communicating is through text, phone calls etc. I won’t go into all the details but trust yourself and your instincts. It is one hundred per cent not your fault. Say to yourself that they are a psychopath, therefore they are not like you, you have to accept they are nothing like you. You are a nice normal person I am sure just like me. Who did find it very difficult to accept how different they are. Especially if you have never dealt with one before. I am still sorting out the mess but I do have documentation of various things so that is useful. I don’t have anyone to help me that’s just the way it’s turned out. But my incredible strength of right and wrong makes me move forward and arrive at a conclusion. That makes me sound amazing! Detach yourself and focus on the fact they are not like you, or most of the people you know . You are ok
I have no one either and keep going back and he knows just how to trigger my emotion delay I never understood I had and now that I do does it even more and has taken so much from me to the point I’m homeless living with a friend at her mothers house. It hurts and it’s hard and i love him so much and am sexually and physically so attracted to him and I never have been to a man before. I was sheltered growing up and did not know these personalities were real. I need so much help but my strength is getting me as through as I can.
I’m living this and it seems as though it will never end. Even though the marriage ends he still continues to punish me for not wanting him.
Hi there! I don’t know where to start from.. I have absolutely crazy sil,mil and FIL… They work together in disguise and have pledged to destroy my husband and my life… My husband still continues to be nice to them for the reason that they will otherwise destroy me.. They are so sick and are constantly playing mind games and trying to drain me of the positive energy… They have no friends, no relatives and no one who want to be with them… They are such leeches… My SIL and MIL together are such villains I just can’t handle this n I am only sticking around for my husband… I dunno what to do because they say things in a very smart way I can’t really hold them against anything yet everything about them is so wrong and devious… I am so scared for my self and my husband… He will not leave them because he thinks they are old and he needs to take care of them.. N we keep fighting always over this one thing.. I need help n I feel so helpless..
Can so relate. SIL is one and the destruction to those around her is incredible. My husband and I are in the process of taking out a restraining order against her. His parents are elderly also. MIL is a bit different but she had a small stroke and is really nice now. She may well have been one too. I am so fightened. This is really scary stuff that they do. I really hope I never come across another one in my life or that I can see the signs before it is too late. I would be attractive to one as I am very caring and empathic. SIL saw that and has nearly destroyed me. Never saw it coming until I told her I couldn’t cope with her anymore and broke contact then all hell broke lose. What a mess.
I’ve just recently realised been married to a psychopath for 13 years things just got worse and worse she made false allegations to the police and social services about me kept pushing me until I snapped walked out and into another rented accommodation in two days taking children met again and completely fooled me again then found out she was sleeping with other men for two years tried to keep me isolated that failed and is now in the process of trying to break my friends up just won’t leave me alone
I think I’m in a relationship with a psychopath but I feel like I’m the bad person but I no I’m not !! Really confused right now
They make you feel guilty….for them you are always the useless, the bad one.
I am starting the process now. A “friend” of mine who beat me up and put me in the hospital. I am finally ready to do this, but I am in business with this person for at least 12 months. Doing it as noted. I suspect he will lose interest and move on.
What does one do when even my doctors have been deceived by a psychopath relative. This has been going on so long, that I feel raped. Being treated for depression, means that they prey on that alone. I need to talk to someone expert in working with me to regain my life.
Get different doctors. You need someone completely professional and there for YOU. Stay strong. You are not alone.
I have been married for 24 years, i have just found out that my so called wife is a psychopath! Last Saturday i Googled “What do you call someone without a concise” It came up a psychopath! I thought a psychopath was a killer! Boy was i wrong! My so called wife is a demon! It took me 24 years to find out what she is!
All i want to say is fight back against these C**ts! She has made my life hell! Making up stories about me! Getting the police to put me out of my house because she said i held a knife to her throat ! psychopaths will melt your brain! Thank God (If their is one) i can stand up to this demon! Because thats whats what they are!! Pissed into my aftershave! Put hairs in my dinner! Cut my jackets up with Scissors!
I hope you divorced her.
If you goggled, “What do you call someone without a concise” — it did not come up with “psychopath.”
“C**ts” — not a term likely to be used by a victim of a psychopath.
“…so called wife…” — if that’s the way you treated her over the last 24 years, maybe you are the pot calling the kettle black.
” . . . maybe you are the pot calling the kettle black.”
And maybe you are the wife he’s talking about! Whoever you are, not nice to try and victimize the victim. Are you a Sociopath on this site doing research on how to be even more diabolical to normal people, since you don’t know what normal is?
Smart person in spotting the writer’s demeanor, really. A “victim” that is capable of voicing such anger?
In fact the name my ex calls me every time he speaks to me, degradation is something they live for… who would call anyone that, that has any empathy for another human being. Let alone the mother of your children.
Dealing with a phycopath for 23 yrs. the sad thing is that being munipulated for that long takes such a toll. by the time u realize it, u are all but destroyed . my only defense against this monster is the knowledge i have about him. although it is almost pointless after yrs commitment to destroy me personaly, my reputation, and his ability to spin any situation into me being the villan. the only advice i can give is be careful of any information about ur life once u break away. that they do, and will go to extremes to smear u in anyway. Keep them out and away from ur social sights, and little chance to contact u.
I am married for just over 2 years and we have a one year old son. I am starting to get more convinced every day because she takes the shape of a monster even for something silly like she didn’t like my tone/reply. The problem is when she goes in her monster states she starts shouting and our one year old boy cries. She even scolds him. Seeing him cry like that when she is shouting, screaming, throwing things and trying to physically abuse me is one of the most painful things for me. I have tried to convince her to take anger management but she is not ready to admit and take any step for her problem. I have an option to leave the marriage but I don’t want our son to be brought up just by her because she even takes her anger out on her. I feel I am the only calming effect when she is shouting and screaming and he is crying. I hold him in my arms and he tries to put his head down on my shoulders as if this is too much for him and he wants to get away. It just heart breaking for me.
Hi. Your wife seems less like a psychopath and more like a sociopath. While they share many traits–lack of empathy, particularly–and are both difficult (if not downright dangerous) to deal with, your wife has the emotional instability of a sociopath. A psychopath is not typically emotive as you describe, but instead is very cunning and systematically destructive. A psychopath plays with you mentally and/or emotionally, and they plan around playing with you.
Your wife’s behavior may be very damaging to your growing child’s psyche–and to your own–so if you do indeed decide to leave her, you should try, as best as you can, to take your child with you. People can change to a certain degree, especially with help, but you should probably take into consideration that your wife will most likely always be a ticking timebomb. I am not an expert by any chance, and you should consult a therapist, if you can.
Hi. I have a BS in Psychology. Child rearing is an especially stressful and difficult time in a persons life. Many people respond to stress differently. An a normal stress response does not automatically make a person a socio or psycho. There could be a number of things occurring like post pardom depression or bi-polar disorder etc. It is best to have the sitch evaluated by a professional. It could be as simple as the coping mechanisms learned in childhood.
From my research it is pretty obvious that it is a waste of one’s own life to help a sociopath.
You are so right. Thank you for this comment.
I have been generous and understanding with this type never realising what they were.
Well. I am aware now.
The only people who will get my love and attention are the people who deserve it.
Phone social services no child should feel scared in his own home. She needs assessing seriously.
Hi im currently unmasking a man ive been seeing as have had to go to the police as he has physical abused me he also has custody of his children
He has claimed he was in the army as a para but things didn’t add up so checked out dates and spoke to the children’s mother how has clarified he hasn’t
She lost her fight due to his lies
There are so many lies to this man its scary
Also his personality is unpredictable
This man is a danger to society and hope that he will be stopped as its like living in a nightmare
I married this christian woman for 36 years. Only in the last 20 years, her psychopathic conducts surfaced and i am really suffering until now. I left to stay on my own for the last 2 years. She opposed to my divorce proposal by quoting marriage is a convenant that cannot be broken. She cursed, condemned and made false accusations against me almost on a daily basis. For my own survival and peaceful living, i have no choice but seek divorce to get back my share of the home. This money will help finance my retirement. What she planned against me in future is anyone’s guesses. She’s extremely manipulative, a master at telling lies. Any advise for me.???
Alex my friend. I have had 5 separate encounters with psychopathic women. My mother has psycopathic sociopathic personality disorder, we’re drawn to our mothers yadda yadda yadda. Two of those five women were sociopathic psycopath. What I will tell you is what I know to be true. They will ALWAYS hurt you in the end. They live in mind frames of extreme ego and fantasy. They will hurt you and won’t ever feel bad for it. Believe me I’ve tried and tried and tried to make each of them care about me. They all claimed they did but only hurt me further. This was across the board. They will ALWAYS hurt people they love without knowing or caring. They believe they’re entitled to whatever they want. Speaking from experience, remain silent, distant, introverted, a lone wolf. Accept her as a reality, you have to live your life around it. She’s on her own agenda and you are merely a small part of it. It’s an outrage, I know. It hurts, I know. You CAN NOT react to her, it will only make it worse. Dont lie to her, but don’t tell her anything you’re doing. You’ve magically become a silent monk-like introvert. Don’t test her. Don’t check to see if she’ll change her ways. she won’t ever change it’s who she is. We’re all behind you my friend. There are those who know and see the truth, they’re just keeping it to themselves.
This is good advice. The other trick is to mirror their behaviour to let them know how it feels to be on the receiving end of lies, betrayal, rages and deceit. They run a mile when you attack them and play them at their own game.
“The other trick is to mirror their behaviour to let them know how it feels to be on the receiving end of lies, betrayal, rages and deceit. They run a mile when you attack them and play them at their own game.”
NO DO NOT DO THAT. This is realy bad advice. You cannot ever hurt sociopath the way they hurt you. They won’t feel it, the way you do. You are assuming that they have feelings, they don’t.
I am desperately fighting & felling for my life. Can you please make time to talk to me? I have no one. It’s a miracle that I just found you & this information. I need advice & to bounce things off someone.
I have lost everything I held dear in the ladt 6 yrs since I met her. I live in a car with my little dog. We ate being drugged daily & my ability to fight off the attacks is getting weaker. I have to run for my life while I still can, but can’t find a place to go.?i’m in N KY. Resources are low, & I’m sick6 & Obroken… Can 6you advise, 4refer, consOult 7in any 5way??? PLEASE4!! We are2 like 7bugs in a jar. Ty
K so i just came to the realization that i am married to a sociopath… I hav 2 children with him 2 and 3 years old and a 12 year old from before him. I am completely stuck! I am terrified n freaking out inside whenever he is near n i have nowhere to go. Ne suggestions on how to deal with this man until i can get away???
My ex-husband was a sociopath and also had two children with him. If you have a vehicle, wait until he is gone to work and then load yourself and your children into the car and head to the police station. Explain your situation to the police and they can tell you what is available in your area to help. Whatever you do, don’t give him any suspicion. If you do not have a vehicle to leave in, call the police from home to their non-emergency number or a local church. Try to avoid getting any of your neighbors or mutual friends involved. I hope by now you have already sought help and hope even more that you escaped the situation. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
There are battered women’s. Shelters you can visit ,and receive resources before leaving.they will keep your secret be extremely anonymousI. Found out i had to get my restraining order on my own due to red tape .some states ask for police reports.i never called cops because he was a resident alien and didnt want to hurt his legal atatus.If he isphysically abusive,seek the county attorney located usually in municipal courts.advise them that you are being abused,and would like a restraining order.take phone recordings or written threats ,pictures anything to prove your case.they will issue a temporary restraining order until you get a court date.usually between 2 weeks,and a month.you should then take that restraining order to a battwred womans shelter.look for the best resources online.research ,and preparation should be very thorough.you must take time to prepare.be very secretive.in the mean time save money you will need it.Record evwrything from thos moment.never get defensive he will turn around and say your angry and being spiteful.the judge will take care of the child support at the rime,but hell probably take a cash job to not pay.if he knows bwtter he’ll hire an attorney.if he doesnt he will probably be soo caught of guard ,and scared that he willbsign protection order.go to school.do not ,do not break your protection order or you can go to jail.do not violate your order it is there for a reason.you must follow it down to a tee.battered women’s Shelter will protect you ,give you counselors,and therapist.you must allow children to see him.if you get this far,congratulate yourself for you are valid strong ,and brave!!!!!!
but some of them will make sure to cat all normal infront of people, they only act crazy only when they are in a private space with you
I was enamored with a man (who I now know is a psychopath) that I met. We never developed anything but a friendship, but it followed the same pattern that you mentioned. Lots of praise, and admiration from him at first, texting 25 times each day, and then it changed to a form of manipulation that included rude statements that came out of nowhere. He started comparing me to others who were suddenly considered better and more important than I was (and meanwhile he barely even knew these other people). The one thread that ran throughout this destructive “friendship” was that he lied incessantly. He treated it as if it were just a joke. Like he was playing pranks on me. At first I thought it truly was just a form of joking but the longer it went, the worse it got to where he lied every chance that he got, whether he needed to lie or not. I was so confused about it all. We were originally going to go into business together to open a little organic store but when I realized that he would not do any of the physical labor and expected me to do it all, that squashed that. At one point when I was waffling on it because of the labor stuff, he said “maybe I should have a contract drawn up that would prevent either one of us from backing out of this?” That was it for the business (thank god). But finally I just got sick of the lying and I told him that either he stops the lies or we could not spend time together. He got angry and blamed me for it all, saying that he couldn’t trust me because I was telling people outside his office things that he had said. (which was not true and I was confused about this too after he said it). I grasped at the idea that it was his attempt to shift blame for another failed friendship. (that was me trying to rationalize someone that is just not rational). I cut my ties with him and my life is slowly going back to normal. The ups and downs that I went through because of his playing games and manipulating me for his own amusement was a huge strain and I just did not realize it until I stepped away from him. We live in a small community but I haven’t told anyone anything about his real persona because I can see him doing bad things to try to “get even” which he threatened me with (as if he was joking) sad part is, even back then before we stopped talking, I didn’t think he was joking at all. His exact words were “if you ever tell anyone about me or the things I’ve said, I will make up a whole bunch of shit and tell all of your friends and they’ll all disown you.” Again, as if he was joking but I knew that he was completely serious. That scared me enough to realize that there was something fundamentally wrong with him and I needed to exit, stage left.
The traits displayed by the charming man I met last year are all to familiar to a psychopath. I am currently disentangling myself from him slowly. The sexual abuse I have had and lies and deceit have worn me down. I have not spoken about this to anyone but I am determined to get rid of him.
I’m really grateful for your information my superior was a psychopath. I didn’t really know what was going on. I thought that everybody was basically good until I encountered one of recent superiors in work. I work in the healthcare sector so I thought we were all there because of our need to help people. I guess his lack of empathy for patients was what tipped me off. It was such a shock and he was so charismatic nobody believed me and although in the end he showed his true colours I know that people still doubt me today. I had finally decided that there was something wrong with me until I found your website and stopped engaging with his mind games and stopped telling people what was going on because nobody believed me. I unfortunately have encountered another psychopath and I initially was feeling bad saying to myself how can it be I have met another one it must be me. This time I have handled things much better I trusted my instincts don’t engage in mind games or arguments no personal chat so I don’t give him ammunition no contact outside work. Most importantly I don’t discuss with colleagues. Thank you so much you helped me stop feeling weak and stopped my spiral of depression. Please keep up your work
I should also have mentioned the first psychopath was so shocked by my lack of interaction that he eventually got bored and moved on to fresh pastures hopefully the second will do the same
I’m going through this right now this woman has gone as far as getting me arrested now she’s dragging my boyfriend to court, every time she sees me she start screaming and yelling at me then call the police and tell them that I was the one screaming and yelling at her thank God for technology…
Its really hard to live with this,i have a sister who is a psychopath,she was diagnosed with anti social personality disorder,at a very young age,which is rare to happen,all my life i have been her target,she beats me up all the time,lies,threats,am very nervous because of this,my whole life,i seem to be the scapegoat of the family,they are all to scared to deal with her,she never visits any other of our family,but out the blue she comes to my home drunk,and when i aske her to leave she threatenes me or attackes me,if i was to get her charged it would make her madder and she would make it her mission to destroy me,i feel like there’s no help for people like us,i just dont know what to do.
Thank you for this article. I have always known my neighbor was a psychopath. For the few years I have been living next to her, she has constantly tried to copy everything I do with my garden, she is jealous that my cats are able to go outdoors and hers doesn’t so she would let her dogs off the leash to chase them. She repeatedly comes out her house and yells demeaning remarks and racist comments and when I call the police, she lies and tells them i am the one calling her names. She continuously tries all kinds of tactics to provoke us so that we can end up looking like the bad people. She is pretty smart because she knows how to work around things so that she cannot get in trouble but yet she is doing all sorts of things to make my life with my fiancé a living hell. Whenever I call the cops, she makes up so many stories and I have her voice recorded saying some racist remarks and the cop heard it but she stil denies that it’s her when it’s well beyond obvious that it is. I never knew people to be this way and prey on innocent people. I always say, you can pretend to your friends family and others, but there is no pretending inder the watchful eye of the one above.
After my mum’s death about three years ago I came to realise that my father is a psycopath, I never had a good relationship with him, and I always sensed he was not a ¨normal¨ type of person, and everyone around him seems to know he has some kind of ¨problem¨, but they all put up with his bullying, his unsensitive way of treating people, his humiliations, and they keep on putting an excuse for his behaviour, saying he is a good person deep down and he is just like that, we have to accept him as he is. But then he stole money from me, money that belonged to my mother, and hid a lot of important documents that are important for my inheritance, and now he is in control of my mum’s property and he won’t sell it or agree to rent it so that I can have a share of it, so I’m pretty much homeless and since he constantly humiliates me, criticises everything about me, all my life choices, bullies me, even puts my life in danger when he drives his car at 130 km per hour, well, I have ceased to speak to him and cut all ties with him. Now no one in my family speaks to me, and he plays the role of a victim, saying I’m an ungrateful daughter because I don’t want to see him or speak to him. (My mum would sustain him economically as he hasn’t had a real job in 20 years and now he’s living on my mum’s pension). So I think that cutting ties was healthy for me yet I cannot really get over the unjustice. My mum put up with his crap, he constantly derided her, saying she was not smart enough or that all women are crazy or not as smart as me, and she ended up falling sick and died. I really can’t get over this feeling that he has got away with it.
*not as smart as HIm
My daughter, age 36, with 3 young sons, was married for 14 years to a psychopath. His mask is always on in public. No outbursts, always the gentleman in public. His abuse was behind closed doors. Because of his mental, and sometimes physical abuse, she developed Complex PTSD (C-PTSD). C-PTSD causes suicide ideation. She committed suicide 5 weeks ago! Her now former husband is a Lt. Colonel in the Air Force! And, it’s so sick that I can’t shame him for what he did to her – psychopaths can’t be shamed. Upon her death, he got $500,000 in life insurance off of her death. So sick on every level.
I’m dealing with one right now, it went as far as her assaulting me then called the police and I’m the one who got arrested . Then she keeps harassing me so I went to get an harrasment order which she violated…I don’t know what to do
This person is my boss. I’ve turned him in for illegal activities to authorities, but I’m afraid that has put me in the firing line. Should I withdraw my allegations, or will that seems like a weakness?
I too am “dealing” with one I met on a dating site. Charmed his way into my life with a cesspit of lies in order to gain my trust. Manipulated and controlled me, used me, financially, sexually and emotionally. Events took place that led to me uncover the history of this Moron, who earns his living targeting vulnerable women on dating sites. Already taken steps to expose him, will be taking further action soon to highlight what these evil entities are capable of, and how depraved they can be.
Sadly, it is not until they have lured you into their clutches, are you aware what evil lies beneath their veil of charm.
We need to protect each other from them.
I can definitely relate. They are so convincing. I’m sorry this happened to you. These monsters will never stop but you right, it’s important that we protect one another
I met someone from the dating site also, you would never suspect him to be a psychopath. He was like every girl’s ” kinight in a shining armor”. He took pictures of me and uses it to blackmail me. But after a few months i had enough , i decided to fight back. He uploaded my pictures on the internet , good thing i was able to capture it before it was gone so i was able to file a case on court. But inspite of this he still send me text messages with threats and bad words. I hope he gets life imprisonment, peole like him deserves to be in jail. Whats worts , he still lied at the court and you would never see any guilt feeling for what he did to me. He portrays as the victim, with drama and crying at the court.
I am relating to many of these situations but I’m not sure if my ex is a pyschopath/sociopath
She befriended me at work when she knew I was having problems with my husband. She listened to me, did things for me & my daughter. I ended up having a six year relationship with her. At times I really felt loved and other times she would put me down & make me feel like shit. She just told me that she didn’t love me anymore. I now found out that she befriended another woman at her knew job. This woman is also having relationship problems. My ex is doing the same thing she did to me. Giving her attention. Letting her cry on her shoulder. Showering her with gifts & affection. Being sweet to her daughter & convinced her to leave her man & move in with her. Am I crazy?? Is this a predatory pattern??
This a short but right to the point question..the real problem seems that these psychopaths want to live in a narcissistic bubble and in that bubble they can be whoever they want to be and if someone trys to pop that bubble ..well look out cause all hell is about to break out..
I just filed a complaint against my psychopath boyfriend. I suspected that is what he was from the start but didnt want to believe it because he was so charming and made me feel amazing at times. He took control of my mind, i felt like i was going crazy i was in love with him and even started enjoying sex for the first time in my life. I knew he was a violent person but never thought he would hurt me untill one night he got mad at me saying im hurting him by hurting myself and got drunk on purpose, started to say terrible things to me, broke my things, spit on me, hit me and sexually abused me. He said he was sorry but seemed happy about it all, smiling to himself and blaming me for what happened. He keot contradicting himself and when i finally confronted him he got confused, couldnt answer my questions and just kept blaming me and then i finally asked him the most confusing question you can ask a psychopath: how do you feel. His reaction was proof he has no feelings. I am getting a restraining order against him, the hard part for me now is accepting all the good things were fake and he never loved me.
My divorce from my psychopath should have been final a week or two weeks ago. I am wondering why I am so lucky as to have this happen. My lawyer told me not to have any contact with him many times. He also said that I was the most abused woman he had ever had as a client. He said, this is the most abused woman I have ever seen. He knows that my husband is a psychopath and what has to be done. What do I do with all his hoarded stuff that he is to remove from my premises? I have taken some of the worthless items he so gallantly left for me knowing there was no value there and he is the one who is to obtain all the items he has hoarded. Psychopath and hoarder? I guess that could stand to reason. Having the stuff is more important than selling and throwing away much of what is in my domain that he is to take makes splitting very difficult. am hopefully thinking that I see that he is not into getting that stuff since he is running out of room for it. I need to throw away much and keep little, finishing our house that he never did anything to help it get finished, so I have to do that by myself. I had been wondering until I just read the article here. God grant me the strength and ability to outsource or throw out the evil things he has done and pretend that everything is all right. I do not have to worry about friends. I will either make new friends or not and I can accept both. I am strong. He likes to be known as a huge success as a business man, but the number of houses we have that we cannot rent due to hoarding means nothing to him. All that lost money is not as important as keeping a whole lot of useless junk. Thanks to the universe there is enough for both of us, he got more, and I have 3 people to support, but that will be still be done with what I receive. I started my rental business with collateral from a house I owned outright and gave it to him and “we” started a rental business. I have fewer properties, but mostly ones in good shape. We all need to believe in ourselves and open our eyes to truth. Love is real. Hate is never final. We learn courage and then overcome hate. That is all there is. My job is to forget so well that it does not cross my mine and that is what I will do. Think on new things, new and wonderful things. I am looking very forward to the future and am 68 feeling 50 and looking much the same. Our family doesn’t wrinkle nor have fear. Courage is what one has to have to overcome the effects of that psychopath and I can do it and almost have. I will get there and we all must get there, have no fear or as Jesus said many times, “Fear not”. Believe it and it is true.
Hi all, I am married to a real live DEMON called a psychopath! We’ve been married now for four years (I just recently filed for a divorce) I must say that during the dating period I saw some usual behavior that wasn’t normal but I discount it. ….. Wow what a major mistake!! No matter what I said or did was a problem if it wasn’t too her liken of total control. I thought I was going CRAZY or losing my mind. Living with her has been like living underwater in a maze at night! It’s been very confusing, puzzling, and I felt I had to dummy down my words so not to awake the devil in her. This woman has the character of a psychopathic psychological manipulatior!
It’s my humble opinion that she need medication and or those demons casted out!
From the very beginning of our marriage she was degrading and defacing me behind my back to family, friends, church members, and whoever would listen and be smitten by her venomous verbal unslot. All of this was for the sole purpose of power and control to make me her puppet! She is very overbearing and difficult to reason with even on the smallest matters.
All I will say to others who are dealing with a psychopath is to pray, keep your cool (I lost it once and went to jail) and ask God for an evacuation route! Be blessed. ..
Psychopaths must be identified and exposed. Being silent about them only tolerates them. They need to be punished for what they have done!
hey! after reading all this, i can conclude that my husband us a psycho.. he just doesnt let me talk to family or friends.. wont let me go newhr, wont let me out of his sight, doesnt give me a penny, but will himself buy n come watever is needed.. he is a control freak n very dominating. hits me if i backanswer n also shouts at the kids.. but its very difficult to leave him n go.. as i feel he does this voz he is lonely.. n he doesnt hv ne1 to share his responsibilities.. pls answer me.. am i going mad?? i am talking both sides..
My father is the same except for he doesn’t hit us except he chocked me when I was a toddler, but he’s really selfish and I’m paranoid because he messes with me a lot he pokes me jabs my sides and he used to pinch me. He also verbally abused my mom and I. My mom used to be physically abused by him and we can’t leave him yet.
I was with one for 6 years. She is the mother of my 2 sons one of which lives with me now.
This means I still have to deal with her on a weekly basis. I try to avoid confrontation because she becomes so vile it’s unbelievable. She has lied manipulated & cheated. When I caught her having an affair. The first night I was stopped for a report of drink driving the second day I was surrounded by armed police. She scares the shit out of me more than any man ever could.
Worst thing is I’ve got at least another 10 Years to deal with her.
At the end of the relationship everybody thought I was the psycho. Even I did for a while.
I’ll never be rid of the fear until my children are grown up
I know one, he spreads false stories about almost everyone behind their back. He brainwashed my father into being his business partner and even pushed my father into cutting off relationships with me. It it so bad that my father has invested about 4-5 millions dollars with him, but doesn’t wants to invest 25,000 on his own sons. The worst thing is, my father and my elder brothers think he really cares for us.
Psychopaths want a reaction. Stick to facts and block attacks through facts. They are driven by the need for power and personal gain. Learn to say no to unreasonable requests and laugh off their demands. If they are a boss then feigned compliance works if being assertive fails. These people play to win. Let them win if it gives you peace in the long term, but don’t allow them a second chance to bite you. Run. Avoid. Block. Divert. Keep quiet and do not react to their pathetic power plays. They can turn a whole mob against you so learn to stand strong alone if needs be until you can escape.
That’s perfect words! I have heard this before, and you are right (you cannot win) with them at all. Since they have no inter-conscience at all – its like your playing with fire.
Yes mine wanted power, and to be able to abuse me when they wanted to.
Very sick people — who loves to hurt others.
Work with a psychopath or perhaps and “almost psychopath.” Every day is a challenge to figure out why other people get sucked into her competitive, abusive, and cruel way of operating. “I have a different relationship than you,” one parent at the school remarked. Well, you’ve been duped and groomed, while she has been bullying and manipulating our principal, and our entire environment. Her husband hold a prestigious position in the school district, no one will address her critical negative impact on our school and colleagues being able to work together. No one. Not anyone in human resources, no administrator, no parent…. Stay clear and be on the right side, and if you are the target (that’s me!), make sure not to make any meaningful contact with the target. And if you are the target, most importantly, don’t even try to explain to anyone what the almost psychopath is doing, because you will look like the mentally incapacitated one. Lying, gossiping, creating untruths, put downs, scoffs, refusal to enter teachers’ lounge and only eating lunch in another classroom with the clique, where she can continue to groom her flying monkeys or minions. I fine it hard to be silent, but I am learning. And boy did I learn the hard way not to address the bully. Believe me when I tell you that I have been severely bullied by either principal or colleagues for the last 12 years. Group behavior is the scariest thing to deal with. Over and over again, research has proven that everyone will scatter from the area of a target. Scatter they did. So, don’t respond to the psychopath, don’t try to tell anyone about what the psychopath is doing, even if you have hard evidence. Create a safety net for yourself and value yourself, know what you are good at, capitalize on it, and don’t ruminate. Every time you play the psychopath’s story in your head, you are retraumatizing yourself. It’s the ultimate practice of self-esteem. Do you know who you are? Can you survive this without trauma?
Thanks for this post. I now realize that this is the only way to get beyond it all.
I have a psychopathic father. I have my future ahead of me( I’m 15) and he’s trying to spoil that by not letting me study peacefully and continually torturing me. Also he is torturing my mother and she is miserable. Plz. Help!
Whoever is reading this please help me.. I’m badly in need of a support.. my ex boyfriend is a psychopath.. I tried my level best to avoid him.. i blocked him in all ways to avoid contact with him.. even then he is torturing me.. he is blackmailing me. I want help.. please help me.. I want advice.. my parents doesn’t know abt this.. if they get to know they will abandon me.. he is playing with my this fear.. I have my life and he is ruining it in every possible way by torturing me.
Never had a label for this. I was raised with a psychopath and I intuitively, after a lot of heartache have done pretty much everything in this article. I am quite unique and hold that to myself so support is tough. What kind of therapist would best understand my situation? What am I looking for? The LAST thing I need is bad counsel. I’ve done well for myself but the “victimization” role can creep up in my life subtly and I think having a therapist WOULD be helpful. I don’t know where to begin or who to trust?
I am a psychologist, and I have immense experience dealing with psychopaths. It all started with my mother. She was a classic vicious psychopath, and I was just a kid. This is the most concerning and dangerous form of connection, parent psychopath, and a normal child. The parent will violate his child, and that kid is helpless. If a grown man is weak with a psychopath how a child should survive around psychopath? The thing is that psychopaths are protected under the law like any other human. They will even get more medical or any public support because they will act as victims and they will ask everything. No one is a real victim if he can react accordingly to the situation. No one here that wrote something is a psychopath. The psychopaths are evil idiots that only think they are something special. They are inflated and they do not have time to spend their precious time with lame things like this website. The primary definition for psychopath: They are evil, not bad, but evil, very evil. They want to destroy everything around them they want you to suffer and be miserable the same way as they are. The Greek word psycho-path means that he is suffering in his psyche. Psychopaths are suffering in their minds and they want everyone to suffer. They will use anything. They will destroy you how they can. They want you to see you in pain, sick and destroyed, and they will say that they do care about you. They are your number one enemy and they will pretend how they defend you from other enemies. They enjoy your suffering. Society should not help psychopaths. That way by protecting one human 20 around him are suffering or they sometimes can be dead. Death to all psychopaths!
I have been through this situation I did not realize till 5 years later,my sister is going through it now and I came to know that I m not the only victim as psychopath are everywhere I took the chance to read about it recently even the comments of other people and I saw my self in each one. I met a bunch of them through my life and one thing I noticed that they are in common they are all from same zodiac sign .can you make a comment of the you psychopath zodiac sign just to make sure it may be a coinsidence.
Hello. My mother is psychopath. It is really really terrifying.
There’s a psychopath that goes to my school and my friends and I pretend to be her friend then we cut off from her but she’s still inside the same classroom with us at almost all hours and she won’t stop bossing us around and trying to manipulate us again not to mention she makes up conversations to talk with us even though we try to ignore her. we can’t cut off her completely because my teacher wants us to be nice to her and not ignore her. Even though the psychopath hates us and we have to pretend to be nice to her and she is doing the samething to us so we don’t get in trouble any advice on that???
I need help to get that Demon psychopath out of my life. He will not get out of my house, and is extremely intelligent, mostly in very bad ways. He is an analytical Virgo, and NEVER to be trusted. He hides behind Christianity, and his father is a retired preacher. His entire family is in absolute denial about him, and his mother, whom he has also called a bitch, and a whore behind her back, tells him what I tell her he has done to me, and others. She is an enabler, and even looked the other way when he tackled his pregnant sister, and she had a miscarriage. He tells so many lies, constantly. He is an expert at gas lighting. I need this evil out of my home, and he robs me blind.
i had to deal with a psychopath(s) for almost 16 years, through fraud, stalking,voyeurism etc at my home . i had be scarred from it but i am relentless in pursuing my life and dreams. When a psychopath(s) has been violating my privacy ,ID theft, trying very hard to prevent me from becoming a doctor or lawyer, lying to others , and to people i know about my health, trying to get me to lose my home through fraud etc because i will not do what they want and they are jealous ,despite not knowing me that well .THe other factors had to do with racism , and they wanted to control my life.
I m a vitim … my man is absolutly psykopath .its hard to believe it still till now but have to eccept .its a fact . thanks for wht u share its quide me more David masters ..
For everyone .. if u see someone too perfect for u .and give everything wht u need and even love .Please becareful . Maybe they are spykopath . Its happen to me . And you will see all will change sunddenly and suprise you .all just an acting . Psykopath has no emphaty and no love . He is just manipulate … very charming .Very clever .using all friend to help to explain to you .. make it like a real . keep change mind . They are absolutly is cunning predator . Has many face . .. so if you feel a liltle bit something weird with your partner or your love
Or friend .actually thts your insting working already but sometime we doens’t linsten it .
Please becareful before its happen to you .
I believe our daughter is in a relationship with a psychopath, within a matter of weeks she has turned against everyone and is now attacking me verbally and trying to bad mouth me to the family, which isn’t working as they know me too well… It is very sad to see this happening to someone you love and the effect it is having on her own children.
I believe he must be having some sort of therapy and is not taking his pills or something.
How can we help our daughter, before it is too late – she has been in this relationship for about 5 weeks now and we hardly recognise her.
The lessons in this article have been exactly the approach I have taken for 20 years to stay away from 4 family members who show many of the following characteristics of socio/psychopath. One lesson I did learn was that removing yourself from the situation is THE ONLY WAY to deal with them. It angers them to no end and leaves them to turn on the others around them. Funny to watch. They don’t tend to be physically strong people…but have extremely negative reactions to ANY swipe at their ego. The one thing I have also found is that they DO NOT like it when you defend yourself or fight back. They seem highly motivated to crush ANY DEFENSE. Monte Grandon (Pete) Ranshaw, Monte Wayne Ranshaw, and Cathy Ranshaw are socio/psychopathic people. Highly delusional or addictive personalities such as drugs, alcohol, or high risk sexual offenders currently active within their family are the normal. This article is textbook stuff. Very impressed and will learn as much as possible.