A little about me, I’ve been counseling and consulting since the late seventies/early eighties. Occasionally, in the course of my coaching, I would encounter a client that had to mitigate the damages in their life due to the influence of a third-party individual, a “bad person.”
From my perspective, there were no such thing as bad people, just lost souls wandering aimlessly through life with little regard for others; and so, the advice that I gave to individuals in those days was very different than I might suggest now.
What I learned, was that there are people who are devoid of particular mental, emotional and spiritual components that compromises their humanity when integrating with other persons, we call these people psychopaths, sociopaths and the recent, more political correctly referred to as being on the Antisocial Personality Disorder spectrum.
That said, there are thousands of variables and no two psychopaths are identical, but they do share many similar characteristics.
So, how can you tell if you’re dealing with a psychopath? Here are some common signs that would indicate that you might be dealing with a psychopath in your life:
Psychopaths are charismatic and are able to attract supporters easily.
They are wonderful speakers who are able to engage their audience and can easily engage the emotions and attention of those fortunate enough to be in their presence.
They exaggerate stories skewing the truth for their self-serving benefit, and will go as far as to lie and place themselves in someone else’s story and claiming it is their own.
Psychopaths are intellectual. They have a gift of having incredibly sharp wit and intelligence enabling them to masquerade as highly-educated as they bob and weave socially in live situations.
This also makes them excellent con artists able to conceive, plan and execute elaborate schemes, while staying one step ahead of the authorities.
3. NO FEELINGS
Psychopaths have no feelings. They do not grieve, are incapable of feeling guilt, shame or remorse, empowering them to easily victimize anyone. They will enthusiastically engage in anything that bolsters their position at someone else’s expense.
They do not love. They are incapable of giving or receiving love, but terribly acute at acting as though they are madly in-love, if it will help them achieve a desired result.
They are great actors/performers giving them the ability to create any perception of themselves that will achieve for them their desired result.
Even though they can appear to have emotions and use them as tools to manipulate their victims, let there be no doubt, they have no real feelings whatsoever.
Psychopaths are impulsive, often acting or speaking without thinking through potential consequences of their words or actions, and are more likely to spontaneously take risks.
They are free of repercussion, since they see themselves as above the law or the constraints of the social norm. No social filters, consequences or guilt.
Psychopaths never lose. They will dominate anyone who gets in their way, will viciously defend their position, often by telling lies and spinning wild tales in an effort to discredit anyone with the inclination to disagree with them.
If you are naïve enough to challenge them, be aware that they will wield their powers of persuasion to make you look like a fool for questioning them. Which presumes that they believe themselves to be:
6. NEVER WRONG
Psychopaths are always right. They never apologize; do not feel remorse for hurting others and are incapable of feeling guilt.
If asked to apologize, a psychopath will often strike out and attack their victim, rather than admit they may have made a mistake or misstep.
Now ask yourself, is the person you’re dealing with a psychopath?
Are they charismatic, smart, have no feelings, impulsive, always the winner and never wrong?
Chances are, you’re face-to-face with a psychopath.
You’re probably saying to yourself, “I knew it. I knew there was something wrong with that person…” You are realizing that you should rely more on your intuition that may have been warning you when you first met this person that something was not quite right. If only we learn to listen more to our gut, we would live happier, safe and secure lives, free from those who seek to exploit us.
If nothing else, that is the lesson to be learned from encountering a psychopath, is to trust your instincts and to not let yourself be taken advantage of by a cunning predator.
I would not, now, be an expert in the field of psychopathy had I not had my own first-hand experience with an evil psychopath that opened my eyes to the realities of the disorder. And now I have deep regret for all the folks that I was ill-equipped to be compassionate enough to reach out to them appropriately.
In this way, I may have attracted this psychopathic presence in my own life to benefit those whom it is my calling to assist along their life’s journey.
So, we’ve established that you have found yourself to be the unfortunate victim – or mark – of a psychopath, sociopath or someone amidst the antisocial personality disorder spectrum…
What Can You Do About It?
How to Deal With a Psychopath
The very first thing to do is to crate as much separation as you can as soon as possible between yourself and the psychopath.
You need to distance yourself physically, financially, emotionally, spiritually and in any other way possible from the psychopath and cease any and all communication with him or her, period.
Any further communication or contact after correctly identifying a psychopath will only lead to more risk, or potential loss to you and yours.
Be aware that as you distance yourself, the psychopath will try to cling to you or play on your emotions in order to further victimize you. Do not fall for their manipulation or pity ploys from this point forward. They will try to appeal to your feeling but keep in mind they have no feelings and no regard for yours, except as a method to further victimize you.
You must cut them off. No contact, means no contact. Though this may not be possible, if you work or live with the psychopath; but that will be an issue to be handled specifically and independently of the scope of this primary message.
2. GET HELP
Next, you will need a strong support system. You should seek out a professional, a counselor or therapist, with experience in dealing with psychopaths. Note that early in my practice, even though individuals sought me out for assistance, I was ill-equipped to offer them the support that they needed at the time.
How can someone understand what you are going through, if they do not understand what you are going through… because – and I am as guilty of this as anyone – “things can’t really be all that bad.” But they are, and they can be very bad, and they can get worse if you do not take the appropriate actions.
Seek out a specialist, or at least someone with experience dealing with victims of psychopaths.
3. BE QUIET
Do not talk to your friends about the psychopath. You might think this is a good time to reach out to those in your circle of friends that you can depend on for support, but chances are (if the psychopath has done his or her homework) they have already gotten to them in advance.
If your friends have not been compromised by the psychopath, there is a good chance that they will be, and be forewarned very few people can compete with the ability to manipulate the minds of the unsuspecting, like the psychopath.
Keep things quiet. Do not confront your psychopath, engage in a battle of wits, challenge or attempt an intervention with your psychopath. This will only open you up for further potential pain, suffering and potential loss.
They psychopath has the uncanny ability to turn anything that you say against you. Don’t give them the opportunity.
4. STAY STRONG
Stay the course. If the psychopath has counter-attacks you, don’t respond.
If you communicate anything to this person it should only be silence. Be steadfast and unshakeable, solid as a rock.
He or she must realize that you cannot be manipulated or be bullied into making any kind of response, no matter what they do or say.
Keep a good posture, positive outlook, smile and be confident (even if you don’t feel like it) at all times.
Any indication of weakness will be seen as an opportunity either to insert themselves or launch another attack.
Document everything. Keep hard copies of everything you can to document any interaction or statements made by your psychopath and keep it at a secure location.
Watch what you say. Act as if every word you speak is being recorded, and may be read to a jury in the future word-for-word and spun out of context in an effort to make you look like a lunatic.
Maybe someday the people who once trusted you will see the truth, but even so, if your psychopath was a masterful one, they will still wonder about you, even after the true colors of the psychopath are made known.
So, don’t hold onto the false hope of one day being vilified of all the illicit accusations that were made against you. In most cases the effects are permanent, though may fade over time. Maybe, in the afterlife…
6. FORGIVE YOURSELF
Most of all, forgive yourself. You were not the perpetrator, here, you were the victim. And as a victim you may have found yourself in vulnerable or compromising situations, and you may feel like the fool. But you were not the fool. Anyone could be victimized by the proficient psychopath and it happens every day in all walks of life and levels of society.
You could not have seen this coming… but now that you are aware, you are less likely to become a victim again… and maybe you can help others to see the signs – or at least be aware – that there are evil people out there, the virtual wolves in sheep’s clothing, who seek to destroy the lives of others without remorse.
Thank you for joining me for this message. It is my hope that this information will help to save you and other from further potential pain, suffering or loss at the hands of the psychopath. Pass this information on to others who may be potential victims.
For more information, or to contact me, visit psychopath victims dot com.
23 thoughts on “How to Deal with a Psychopath Video”
Thank you, David Masters
✿my english is not so good but I hope you understand!✿
Your Toolkit is really informative!
But as you describe on one of these pages, when you realize what happened , it’s already too late!
In my experience, according to people who may never were in direct contact with a psychophaten not imagine in the least to what these people are capable of! I do not even !
far too long , it is believed by the manipulation, that one imagines something .
I felt very early on that something is not right, but it was not real for me!
there is nothing so as to provide a happy man . the bar is raised higher unnoticed , so I always felt like a breaker failure .
the monster under which I had to suffer, projected all his badness on me , with a captivating storyteller ‘s voice !
again and again he did something good for me to reproach me afterwards . secrets which I entrusted to him he used as a pressure medium . I’ve never heard of him , who had ever done anything sorry. Never !
if it was something to blame then it was my fault that he was to blame !
he grazes the truth of to the core and then wrapped him with lying!
I was always forced with: ” Yes , but …” reply when someone approached me on his version . I could never say, ” That’s a lie ! ” he had only the details to be changed beyond recognition ! it was a brutal experience in my life to recognize with whom I shared table and bed and his evil words still ringing in my ears.
thanks to sites like this, I realized that my first intuition was correct.
I could trust my intuition again!
Knowledge is power! as a victim of a psychopath, it is vital to give back to conquer as possible, because only what you can not explain, scares.
Greetz, Selmaஐ ✲ ღ
my daughter married a man, had 2 daughters, bought a night club and got into hard drugs…uppers, downers, stealing, dealing, lying, betraying and all the time denying and conning his way through life. We finally took her and the girls away s she was suicidal. She couldn’t stop his habit, despite pleading with his mother to get him into rehab. She denied he had a problem and accused my daughter of being a nut case. Unbeknown to her, he had a new 20 year old girlfriend, and wanted her out of the way. He has never given her a cent of child support. He, his mother and his girlfriend are all abusive when they don’t get their own way (open access to the children) l now believe he is a sociopath. My daughter tries to be fair and give limited, supervised access. She suffers depression and anxiety at times due to their torments. They pretend to be her friend then turn on her when they sense weakness. The little girls want to see them. What coping mechanisms do you suggest?
I’m very sorry to hear of your situation. You sound like someone who is worried and concerned, but I’m afraid some of what you wrote is confusing. I strongly suggest your daughter see a therapist as well as an attorney. Even if there is a lack of money, there are free clinics. Please try to find a way to get professional help, as the internet is not adequate for such an important matter. This situation is way beyond “coping” measures. Abusers are not entitled to fairness, but the children are entitled to protection. If your daughter is not capable, if she is not strong enough, then do all you can to get her help. Until she is strong enough, the children may need to stay with another family member or child protective services. Their well being must be the first priority. I hope everyone involved gets the help they need.
Is it way to ask question without having it published on this page/ website?
Yes. You can state in your comment that you prefer your comment not to be published, or you can send an email to email@example.com.
Thank you David Masters. Your information has given me a better understanding of what I am currently going through. I recently left my ex whom I was involved with for many years. He fits almost all of these characteristics. I was always too afraid to leave him. Now since I have left him he has had warrants for my arrest at various police stations. His money and influence with people in the high and low places is unlimited. He has opened fictional facebook pages about me. He has even gone so far as to have himself shot and put the blame on me. I was his mistress, and he denies having any type of relationship with me even though I have supplied proof to the questioning parties. He is relentless. His brother even said that my ex will never stop. He warned me that if I leave him he will come after me and my loved ones to the extent that I will either end up on the streets, a hooker and hopefully he drives me to eventually commit suicide. He said he will show me that my God does not exist. With all the corruption in our country, he is using his influence and getting it right. This is only a small portion of what i have gone through. This page of yours has brought some light and understanding to what i am actually dealing with…. it all makes sense.
Me and my 3 kids lived in a Safe Place, for more than a month, through Woman’s Advocate. It had its embarrassing moments, like being forced to play Bingo, and winning Tampons, but now I’m free, and have some colorful memories : )
Oops, 2, not 3 kids!
I know this exact feeling… please message me.
I had a child with a psychopath, my son is now 8. I ran away with my son when he was three but the courts brought me back. my ex has made me out to be a bad mum, alcoholic, promiscuous. he has accuse my Dad of sexual abusing me as a child. All this has failed my ex getting what he wished and the courts helped me keep residents of our son but he sees his son regularly every week. Now he has accused me of abusing our son and as a result I have not seen my son in two weeks and I am to go to court on Friday. I was arrested last week but let go without charge and despite the police and social work saying they do not have enough evidence to charge me, my case is still going to court as my ex wants full residence of our son. I am more scarred for our son now more than anything and when I talk to professionals involved they just don’t get it. I live in Edinburgh Scotland can anyone help. early in my relationship my ex had me believe he had a brain tumour and huge debt and this was his excuse for not living with my son and I, he had me fooled but when I told people this my ex claimed that I was making it all up – this is just one example of what he has done in the past – why don’t professional people recognise psychopaths??? how can I stop my ex ruining my son and my life and hurting anyone that is connected to me
is it a good idea to report a Psychopath???
i would also like to report his friend, a Sociopath
Wow… My life was good…. Then a narcissist/sociopath entered. Like all the stories I was swept off my feet by his quick enduring love, we were soul mates. He was married but I carried all the guilt. I ask him don’t you feel guilty?his response never! She betrayed him. Hum…. Then a world wind romance, I kept having this intuitive feeling it was to good to be true. Indeed I should have listened more to myself. He idealized me, devalued then discarded me. Deveststed me and my children, when we knew he was all lies. A mirage …. He quickly moved on to his next girlfriend to never look back. I was left saying WTF…. Only silence from him. A hudge assclown of a dentist who tries to manipulate his patients and staff. I was a fool to fall for him…, now just trying to recover my ruined life… Scooping up my broken heart, learning from my nieviety and seeing evil exist and I slept with it. Hope, prayer and peace to all the victims of a disorded individual. My advice RUN…..
I had a similar experience with you, I just realized that he was a psychopath. From the start I know he was married. I kept questioning him, isn’t it a sin? Isn’t what we were doing a sin? On and on until he hooked me up and completely assured me that I was ‘a saver’ that his wife was so irresponsible, abandoning him and did not care about him by occasionally forgetting her responsibilities for him and his kids. I was so distressed, I went against my own intuition and my friend’s advices. I thought he was the only one in the world who truly knows me. Even more than my parents or any other friends do. I know how stupid it is, yes.
So, my encounter with him triggered by another sociopath on my lab. This particular sociopath was looking to gain his upper hand in career ladder (without much work as typical creeps). Well, then my ‘romantic’ psychopath acted as a hero in warning me about the sociopath in my work place. So I was studying abroad during that time and until now, therefore I was far from family and close friends. My psychopath was also studying abroad and we were from the same country. My psychopath was having his Dad died and looked vulnerable in which my empathic response came. Then base on assumption that he cares in my best interest (when now I found out it was for his best interest then), we created a symbiotic relationship. I thought I could leave him once he went back to the country. It has been two years (and I swear it was hell on earth) and I was still hooked up. My intuition had been screaming. I didn’t know who I was, I felt out of sync with my needs. I felt meaningless. I underwent depression. My subconscious brought me nightmares. The psychopath slowly influenced me about our mutual friends then this left me isolated with no one but the psychopath alone.
I wanted an answer to all this madness. I searched everywhere. I tried to double check to everyone I know. Once I tried to contact his wife but I was still having negative assumption due to the psychopath description about her.
Then time flies by with craziness hanging still when I thought logically that kind of person who without compassion was a non existence, at least not someone I know.
Then I had reached his wife and asked for her forgiveness. It feels so unfair, that I was being duped. But I need that justice for my inner peace.
I am just less than a week from my last contact with the psychopath. I hope my attempt this time is successful. I am trying to find a support but I don’t know who to reach.
I’m not sure if the person that I’m dealing with fits all of the criteria in the video, but I believe he is very dangerous and could be a killer. I thought I was rid of the man a few years ago but he just resurfaced with an email accusing me of “screwing” him. At one point a few years back he held me physically hostage in my own office and it was a very scary scenario.
I don’t know this man well enough to say that he fits all of the criteria in the video, but I do know that he’s not a person you can disagree with, he will never acquiesce to a point regardless as to its logic, and he refuses to take responsibility for his own failures and accuses me of all of his misfortunes. I’ve learned that he does have a criminal record as well as a history of violence and has spent some time in jail when he was younger. What also scares me is that he wanted to make it known that he knew where I lived and that at one point he claimed he almost paid me a visit at the wee hours of the morning.
Unfortunately he’s considerably younger and much larger so I would stand little chance of defending myself in a physical confrontation with him. The last time I had any contact with him was about 2 or 3 years ago, until he emailed me a few days ago out of the blue. I’d hate to get the police involved in this matter out of fear that it may escalate things, but if he sends me another email I’m not sure that I’ll have much choice.
I was involved in a relationship with a woman who I fell madly in love with, beautiful and the center of a large social circle. We were together and were the it couple, traveling, entertaining, outdoor recreation(great camping/fishing trips). My home burned down one year into the relationship and I began living with her, I always helped out, cleaning , paying my share, building things as I am a carpenter. About every six to eight months there would be some unforeseen slight that I did and there would be an explosive point of throwing me out, doing it in public, etc. I simply thought I was crowding her or it was just a difference of opinion or attitude between a man and woman perspective.Insurance beat me out of the policy so she , being of substantial means in savings, loaned me $ 100,000 to get started on a house. We made it legal and I proceeded to build a bigger home than previous, she became testy, jealous. Once again threw me out, being blind in love and educated, I am not being conceited I have a bachelors degree and believe in studying/analyzing a problem. I took a cowardly way of conveying to her that she had bi polar traits. In all honesty, I wrote a note,very short, conveying that I as a coworker was concerned about her mood swings. She discovered it was me, she figured it out. It has gone ” thermonuclear”, iam doing the best I can to abide by our agreement and meet our loan deadline which might not be possible. How bad is this going to get, do I have any chance of renegotiating or compassion regarding my timeline ? I have been turned into a pariah by all involved and have gone underground/faded to black. What has been described by the Doctors analysis above makes me scared to death of my consequences. I was love struck, believed in a four year relationships strength and I guess just plain stupid.HELP!
Ok, so how to deal with a psychopath?
Use the NO CONTACT rule, get away from him or her as soon as possible, they’re only looking to abuse you until you become their puppet, once they started using fear as their main weapon you’re doomed.
Pack your stuff and leave, make sure he or she doesn’t know where you are. Change your phone number, contact the police if there is any aggression or hire a lawyer for domestic abuse.
Very interesting, this really helped me with out. Thanks.
I have suffered more than ten years. It is my aunt. She seems like the right person when one first meets her and her victims seem ugly, bad and all wrong.
My question is:
Where can I go to get help? I need it ASAP. I feel I will die or one of my family members will if I don’t get rid of her. She is my mother’s sister, lives with my grandmother, follows my mother where my mother goes and so is a constant presence in my and my family’s life. My family thinks I am the drama.
Not sure if anyone will see this any time soon, but I am in a very difficult situation right now, where I am 100% certain this person is a psychopath and he is trying to use fear tactics to control and manipulate me. I know one is not supposed to disclose that you know what they are, and I have not, but I cut off complete communication and he knows I have been learning all about these types of people (now I realize he is one too and has been doing some evil things to me without me even realizing it), so he knows I now know what he is. I am afraid based on what I read, that this is when they want to hurt people (kill) because of fear of others finding out who they really are. What is one to do? No one else believes what he is doing or is capable of. Everyone thinks he is such an innocent person. I honestly fearing for my life. There is no physical evidence to use against him. Are we supposed to just sit around and take this?! Someone please give me some advice! I am desperate.
I just read your comment, I hope you are fine.
There is protection orders you can get at your local court house.
Document everything you can, emails or textes record much you can in a safe way.
Never be alone with such person…carry with you a taser if makes you feel a little protected.
Never understimate sfety .
Do not focus to much on that person, that is exactly what this type of person want from others…sick attention.
Pray, praying is what helps me much to have peace in my heart and mind and help others to deal with this situation.
I am not a professional counceler but i have learn that no one has the right to make my life misserable and only I can allow that to happen.
Be polite with him when necesary but not nice…dont hide to your family and friends that you are affraid of this person, the most people know the more protected you will be.
What practically can a psychopath be charged with? Their activity is criminally destructive. How do you get them charged and convicted?
my life was happy intill a psychopathic sibling worked her way back into my life again , I was going thru a bereavement recently and made a huge mistake I let her contact again , I blame myself as I knew how dangerous she is and this is why I blocked her out of my life years ago for man years , I’m not going into detail but she is a full blown psychopath , psychopaths get worse as time gos on not better , I advise everyone to not respond or react , even if they slander you , make out your crazy , threaten you , slander you , ….. do as much research as you can ,get councelling privately, and join a support group , please I know how a psychopathic sibling can totally manipulate you in to suffering in silence for many years or even your whole life , so please don’t suffer in silence , and don’t think they they will ever change , they wont , you need to protect yourself and if you can block this person out of your life fully ? do it asap , if you plan to move ? do not ever give them your address , don’t ever tell them what your thinking when those texts and calls come , or tell them anything you know what they have been up too, do as much research as you can on psychopathy , become an expert on the subject , the more you know the better . most of all don’t suffer in silence , look for support groups etc , your not alone .