Psychopath Runs Court, Police From Other Side of the World


Penny J Darby-Smith

I sincerely hope this devastating story will alert other victims to the lengths a Psychopath will go to in order to secure the result for the victim of being ‘arrested, sectioned and dead’; the Psychopath mantra. The Hate Crimes are too many to list, but are daily, sometimes hourly.

My Psychopath is my half-sister, who inherited the genes from her father, a charismatic, dangerous man.

This child went on to be a very dangerous person, but blonde, pretty and nearly 6’ tall, she was able to swan through life with impunity; a life full of planned attacks on many people, but mostly focused on my father and me.

My mother got the big smile and false respect to keep her onside. She went on to hasten her mother’s death, within hours of solicitor-firm’s arrival; she recognised the person at the door, as she had been to see the solicitor before announcing her arrival to us. That proves premeditation as she wanted to recognise anyone from the office. Also, she told her mother she had a black outfit and was in a hurry. She physically and emotionally tortured her. She was a foot taller and threw her around until I was able to hide my son and moved over there immediately to save my mother. My mother’s cries for help to Police failed to remove this danger. We were both scared, as is outlined clearly in her solicitor’s notes.

She had also appeared from Australia in 2001 to drop the bombshell that she had been abused from ages 5 – 20 but had forgotten! She said she remembered when she read an article about someone who sued a dead person for abuse. We lived in a small home and played on a smallish sailing boat, so any abuse would have been obvious. She was sexually promiscuous early on and would try and upset me with stories of sex; also, her love of watching patients die; trying to upset me with seeing the lights go out in their eyes. I was a sensitive child and would run off crying – a buzz for any Psychopath.

Sadly, in Antipodes, it was big business claiming damages from a dead person’s estate. In UK that did not apply, but she tried to sue her own mother for damages and money to keep it secret.

My mother banished her and her family forever and sent her packing; far from keeping quiet, she told everyone about it and all agreed her daughter had gone rogue. From my perspective, as I sat there listening to the vile sex stories, I knew it was just her sex-addiction talking. She had always loved talking sex to shock people and feed off their reactions. It continues to this day. She knew that we knew it was all lies (even decades out and wrong houses etc.!) but her excitement was unstoppable.

The Psychopath returned in 03 on hearing her mother was ill. I am very keen on Complementary Medicine, at the top level, and it had saved my own life, and we had also got my mother through serious illness and so we knew we could get her through this illness. (I have proof of her cure with medical notes from her oncologist) and upon the arrival of the banished daughter, my mother called the Police in desperation. They were no use at all and fell for the lies. Not for the first time. A relative of mine was stabbed to death on his doorstep, in front of his brother, who were running from a gang, run by Psychopathic leader; son of a senior Police Officer! This could raise the family numbers to a massive 4, thanks to the ignorance of those who presume and assume others to potential death. So this family has not fared well at the hands of the Police, at all.

I am writing a course for the Police, but doubt they will take it up. One such tip is to seat people on both sides of a suspected Psychopath, easy, but effective, as they lose the smiling expression immediately, and turn to ‘reset’. If you remove that, it leaves them in some confusion. Believe me, a lifetime of unwillingly being a student of Behavioural Sciences, there are many clues. I could hide before walk; a flick of the hair, a steely, laser-like stare would terrify me as a child. Even MIND is unable to help victims; I was advised to get a solicitor!

When I married and honeymooned in NZ, she had an affair with my husband. My father and I caught them, and she was hoping I would shout, scream, yell and cause a furore. I never mentioned it, came home and divorced. I never told my mother, ever. Dad and I just kept quiet for ‘peace’; that will bring anything but peace. Just another attempt to be, do, have my life, to destroy at will.

Short story, Mother dead within couple of hours of solicitor trying to get new Will signed, turning up at the house. I have the handwritten notes. The doctor refused me blood tests and post mortem. He was scared of her and under her control entirely. Her death was unexpected; we had plans for the following week. Even solicitor was planning a visit the following week, but the one who visited was keen to get it done and had arranged it with me, with neighbours at the ready as Witnesses, keen to help my lovely mum. It was not urgent and says a lot. I have the new Will and the notes for the instruction which proves her intention. Her mantra was ‘she will collect nothing’ and she kept repeating it. It was heart-breaking.

Within minutes of her death, the Psychopath was stretched out on the sofa on her mobile phone, saying ‘got the money’ and laughing. Her husband manifested out of nowhere to shut her up and bully solicitors and doctors. She forgot it was a bungalow and I was just yards away.

My mother died in fear, pain, anger and distress. This was amplified by the fact she knew my son and I would be next.

My attacker is the other side of the world, and this is the key part for anyone thinking distance is a saving grace.

I have been drugged twice, ignored. First time by own nephew (son of Psychopath) who told me he had drugged me to get truth about alleged abuse. My book was all over the internet and they thought maybe money. I had ignored (at my peril, being nice) the ban on the family and agreed to a reunion, with my son too. I was awoken by a maid in the hotel he had booked, at mid-day and he looked surprised to see me. I don’t think I was meant to wake up. He also has the genes, which also include sex/drug/alcohol addiction. That takes money.

His sister seems to be without the gene at this point; kind, loving, great mother, gentle. The psychopath put a wedge between them, lying to them both with separate stories. Ergo, she controls the entire family and their lives. I am sure she was in the hotel, but Police would not check her 4 passports.

My beloved home was attacked just after the false abuse allegations; basement door to garden axed off hinges and lying flat on lawnmower and the security door at top of stairs to living level also axed down. The front door lock was so old it was easy to break in and sash windows with no locks. Any 5-year-old could have got in in under 5 minutes. The Police urged me to move as alone with a child and clearly this was the work of a lunatic. I moved with a Police guard but those notes are missing!

She had always data-collected; had her crew imparting private information about me which then became a hit-list. I was sabotaged through landlords, local council, auctioneer stole my valuable 1750s American Chippendale-style desk, which came from the family of an American Civil War hero’s family directly into my father’s family. It was left to me in both parents’ Wills.

The book I had published was a non-fiction book about a missing ship, and based on the first-hand account by my father’s uncle. That was also stolen, on demand, and now she is claiming it is her book. My publisher dropped me thanks to the lies that I am a deviant; they went on to steal hundreds of copies of the book and are selling them online via agents, and could make between £90,00 and £1.2m. They also put the book out under several variations of my name, so I never get royalties. That is fraud, defamation, corruption, conspiracy plus many more crimes.

I had 2 storage units smashed up. She got in claiming to be me, no cctv and my life’s belongings taken; the second one was less, of course, and everything smashed up.

The social housing landlord admitted hacking my mobile, and indeed, all texts, contacts, etc. were lost. My laptop was hacked and I lost all AOL accounts, which lost me client details, testimonials, book on mind/body connection and so much more.

All attempts to resurrect, including being offered a Harley Street position, are sabotaged and it is impossible to recover and raise profile without risking other people.

The City Council created a £2,000 debt, which I produced receipts for; then it went to £4,000 and then to £6,000 and threat of prison. That has been dealt with but the stress involved is massive.

I went to my GP to log that I was in stress, and she falsely claimed it was my appendix surgery, which I have never had and on my demand for my notes, I was sent fake notes. I have the notes and letter of apology as proof. She also joined the social housing landlord in trying to get a ‘SUICIDE’ danger alert with mental team. I have never been depressed, and would never consider such a choice. It opened the door to an accident. I have letter from mental team confirming I am no danger to society or self.

The list goes on, but I have been threatened in public and a solicitor said he had £17,00+ of stocks of mine, stolen by a solicitor in the firm in 95 and he had died so they wanted to know what to do with them. They said I could not have the money and it was all entrapment and to distress. That violates Human Rights, several Articles, and they involved public (including an ex-landlord) in this farce, and this translates as false information from Psychopath being public gossip (slander/libel/disadvantage/malicious intent/fraud/conspiracy/corruption, etc., etc.) and leaves us vulnerable as it only takes one over-enthusiastic person to take matters into their own hands, for the safety of society.

We are the most benign, gentle, kind, empathetic, intelligent, people and our lives have already been taken in terms of quality. I am also a freelance, qualified, Coach and whilst drawn to Victim Coaching, do not yet consider myself a survivor; this is more a documentary of my demise.

The only thing I did right, on recently finding David Master’s site, is to document, document, document, driving the Police and everyone crazy as they find me now a figure of lunacy and also of comedy. Even the Court Staff when I was facing false debts from landlord, and fighting auctioneer, lost papers, altered Court Orders, withheld Witness Statements and openly laughed at my distress.

So, please be aware, if sudden debts appear or hacking etc. be sure to log it all and report it all, and KEEP IT ALL safely. Distance is no object to a Psychopath, and the Police actually are in the Cluster group, or, as I called it before finding this site, Vigilante Group.

I hold Police, the Psychopath’s Psychiatrist, landlord, auctioneer, solicitor, council and court staff, GP, all guilty should anything ever happen to my son and/or me. They have committed over 50 crimes which have gone un-investigated. It is a true horror story and it continues unabated with the corrupt solicitor trying to criminalise me. They are hiding their crimes behind me and now I step aside and let the light shine on them. The auctioneer was actually found ‘guilty’ in a Court for selling fake items, so crimes are a-plenty.

It is also interesting that the top careers for Psychopaths include medics (Psychopath and GP); Police; solicitor; sales (auctioneer); civil servants (Court staff, council staff, landlord staff). How well she picked her Cluster. Little do they know they are not thinking for themselves; their minds and actions belong to a Psychopath.


Stalked and Terrorized by Psychopath

I am terrified. I can’t post or say anything in my defense because these gang stalking psychopaths are technologically savvy enough to breach my network security, infecting all my devices, including phones. And that’s only for starters. Just sending this anonymously is a risk.

I’ve been subjected to an effective smear campaign such that everybody, including my family and the police, writes me off as paranoid just for hinting at the troubles. (The narc/cluster Bs’ goal is my suicide or, second best, institutionalization.) The police keep getting it wrong; when I report as g to the victim of burglaries or assaults, I’ve ended up half the time with involuntary admissions to the mental ward. Meanwhile, the narcs/cluster Bs admit to me what they’re doing, but they use fake persona on social media and other ephemeral media. I can’t get proof collected before they burglarize my house and take the files.

I’ve was too kind, perhaps, when it first happened. I didn’t understand and a couple of them, who knew each other it turns out, developed intimate relationships with me. But, now, this war on me seems easy for them and a lifelong sentence for me. I’m alone now. Based on sequential betrayals by people later determined to be part of the scheme, I know I can’t trust anyone I meet not to have been placed as a set-up to harm me further. It’s bullying on steroids.

With all the stories and songs on the topic in popular media, you’d think bullying has become a pervasive activity. The compassionate people left in the world need to take notice and try to help one another. Victims don’t do much because any misstep can lead to terrible abuse or worse. We can’t protect ourselves except by being dutifully quiet. Others seem to believe first the lies of these predators. It is Hell and I’m in it while these tormentors seem to be enjoying a hunters’ paradise.

In the past, I wasn’t paranoid in the least. But it is getting harder not to be suspicious and avoidant. It is so bad, I sometimes wonder how many purported victims’ sites and even victims are imposters.

I ask myself, why would anybody bother to plot such awful things. I’ve decided the main answer is, “control.” There is this insatiable quest by the disordered for absolute and total control. They’ve told me as much through leaving reading materials because they get a kick out of me knowing about and even appreciating the extent they’ll go to satiate specific desires.

When did this become the play zone of the disordered, and how and when can we start effectively resisting? Everyone needs to start thinking along those lines or I fear for the whole lot of us who have ordinary, I think, compassion.

Parental Poisoning Psychopath

It is august of 2020. I was reading online and realized wow this is my story. Tons of survivors talk to me about how they survived a parent trying to end their life, with making it look like an accident or leaving them abandoned in places where they could be kidnapped, and others by poisoning.

This forum is mostly people dealing with more spousal psychopaths and not had the lifelong obsessions of the parent to target them for life. I was happy to see that this page though its home and is very direct of the plans the smear campign is.

The reason the smear campaign takes place is that it is so effective and the video that I just watched about it is amazing it is spot on.

Over the last few months, I realized that of course, not the whole police force is psychopaths I did not want the comment. I left to make it look like that and I hope it does not appear that way.

There is an article or two or one hundred that shows that the top ten jobs for psychopaths and also law enforcement is contained with psychopathic and narcissistic traits. It is well documented. It is not just my opinion, and if you have a psychopathic obsessed parent that wants you destroyed and falsely arrested and whatnot, then you pair that up with any other psychopath, especially that person with the abusive talents of using that pen to distort reality for the victim.

You could be the victim. This is an attempt on your life and here you are dealing with the one person that is supposed to be investigating and now he goes along with the false narrative.

I also realize that she found one person that was so afraid of her targeting him that in the hospital instead of reporting the poisoning he aided her by calling the police and telling them not to come and investigate that. In fact, he told them what pat wanted them to think.

So you have the officers that want to investigate and do the right thing and what she found in the hospital was someone so afraid of her admitting the poisoning that he did whatever she said for him to do.

You also mention that in your video too. I could tell how he ran out of the room and she went running behind him after confessing – no bragging – over and over how she did it,

I swore to myself him being a mandated reporter that he had to by law or ethics report that, and of course, don’t ever underestimate the fear that some men have of psychopathic females. He was older than her and frail and maybe she reminded him of a psychopathic female he had inside his own family but he did her bidding he was her puppet.

The sad thing for me and my child is that the intervention, the breaking of the decades of abuse by the psychopath would have ended that day.

There is no way, if this doctor admitted that she confessed to poisoning even if she tried spinning it to make herself out to be some kind of hero, it’s still a crime to poison someone so they end up in the hospital.

First, she tried saying it was suicide and when she was caught in so many lies she flipped it quickly like a good psychopath into well I drugged her but I did it on purpose to force her into the hospital so she can be committed. They won’t deny they did this or said this but they spin it to be the hero in the story.

You have my mother down pat, to a tee. Yes, and her name is pat. I call her Psycho-Pat. She is dangerous to me and anyone she makes her target. Her favorite targets are the females in the family including her own mother and myself and my daughter. She likes it, if she can separate us by using sick false narratives and lies, she can be killing two birds with one stone.

The sick thing is that she would have most likely ended my child’s life by now had she gotten her way with me. She has a taste for killing over how she used to kill my pets. She graduated to people.

She tried to kill me, and had she won and got away with it, she would have had more of a taste and would have gone after my child. Only after she was done destroying her heart and mind and ripping her soul apart by getting rid of me.

The attitude she portrays about me as is that I am not good to my child. When in fact the one that is the abuser is her. She projects her garbage onto me. Literally, she can bring up memories of things she did to me as a child at the same age and project that memory onto me, then says I did those things.

I have not ever even raised my voice to my child. I see no reason needed to ever hit a child. Yet pat did that to me regularly. She showed her hatred of females with her fists every day. Imagine having that scumbag trying to project her grotesque spirit and soul onto someone that is the exact opposite and people are believing her lies.

They are viewing her as the opposite of what she is, and they are viewing me as the opposite of what I really am. The punishment and hatred that she gets others to feel about me when she tells her stories of the abuse she did to me as a child. The hatred they wish I would be dead and not care who kills me. All these things really should be turned around onto her. That hate should be put back onto her. Since she is talking about her own memories of her being an abuser.

Those stories have nothing to do with my child those are memories that she is reliving from decades ago before my child was born before I could even have children. As a virgin child, she is making up these things as If I did them to my child and it’s her own memories she is discussing of herself.

One time, she tried getting my husband to have people deny me being allowed to speak to her, and she gave him a story to write down. I read this and said, “she did this to me I remember when she did this to me!” So, she is reliving a part of her life that she is remembering in vivid detail.

You can see how she loves thinking about those days. She lives for abusing children. She is after my little girl. She wanted me out of the way so she would be allowed to torment and abuse my own child.

She is dangerous and should be locked up for the rest of her life.

If they can get decades for poisoning attempted murder, I want her to go away for the maximum sentence, and I want more than ever to get a prosecutor or a detective that is so sick of the person that she is and how she manipulated and lied to police to do her bidding and do her dirty work.

I want people to hate her so much for how she ruined the lives of everyone she comes in contact with.

The police have her hook line and sinker.

I got her to confess in ten minutes. Why would a seasoned detective have a hard time getting her to confess to this crime? She was bragging.

This doctor I know says that there are some police officers who most likely became afraid of her. If they are not some of the abusers that end up getting hired and know you are the victim and want to keep you in the victim status. I think the rest of them don’t want to become the target of the psychopath either.

It is a life long obsession for my mother to end my life since I was her victim and I know the worst of her. I know the true her. Also, my brother does, and he would be an excellent witness in court to how crazy she is, but he was taught to be her fists as I grew older, and I could speak the hitting had to be transferred from her to someone else.

Anytime no one is abusive to me or my life is soaring and becoming better and better is when I get targeted by her the worse. The more support and the more help I seem to be getting the more outrageous and extreme the lying and abuse get.

The more insane the stories become and the more people she needs to gather to her side against me.

The downfall I feel that made the most abusive time in my life even compared to my childhood I have experienced more abuse from her living five states away since she has been directing my husband in what to do, what to say, how to poison me, when to poison me, what lies to tell the police, etc.

I have reports where the officer said the husband was on the phone with the mother in law, so I spoke to her and she said about the daughter “she’s mentally ill and we should commit her.”

Had I been told this the day she said this, I could have gotten proof from a psychiatrist that I have nothing wrong along those lines and the proof could have allowed me to press charges of slander and also get a protective order so she has to have no contact with me or anyone in my life or contact with any law enforcement.

She is not involved in my life for a reason. This also is very true what you said in the video and the page you wrote where they push who they are and project who they are onto the victim.

Since she is the one that needs to be locked up and committed they push that onto the victim.

The reality of life is, I am the calmest, level-headed, intelligent, caring, always contributing to society, helping others, and faithful to my church. I also used to help autistic kids, and I was a mental health case manager. I went to college when I had no contact with them for decades.

They came back into my life, not through me but through my husband, so they both were working alongside each other with her teaching him all her tricks on how to be the best psychopath that he could be.

They never would have wanted to see me destroyed or homeless before he met her. He would not have wanted to destroy his own life, his own credit, his own child, his own job, or his own home had he not been associated with her. He followed her lead, hook line and sinker, because like the devil she promised him great power and to be the “winner” and to completely dominate me.

That is what he wanted, total domination and destruction, and she gave him a new way to live. He loved learning how to destroy the mother of his child.

I was struggling, watching my husband become someone I did not know. I felt him hurting my child to get to me was the last straw, and I asked him to move out. I got a protective order and that is when the murder attempt happened. He was out of the house.

I had no idea they had been on the phone planning things together for years. I had no idea parents were even a threat to me. I had not been warned by the police of all the insane smearing and lies of my character was going on behind my back or I could have gotten a protective order once I proved she is calling them up or telling the police pure unadulterated lies about me.

The fact I was in the dark kept them in more power and the fact that the Fairfax police unfortunately only solve less than three percent of violent crimes committed where the rate of the country is about 21 percent. So compared to the rest of the country (this is from a book on Fairfax county police that I purchased on amazon that has all sorts of statistics). This county has the worst solving of violent crimes around. I am sure that almost all of the murders that are said to be suicides are going passed off as suicides since there are never any investigating.

In my case alone, I have had multiple times that the police could have found out they were being taken down a line of being hooked into following the lead of the psychopath.

When I got this protective order on my husband, this is the time you will most likely be killed or seriously harmed. In my case, I have so many motives for murdering me, yet nothing would have been investigated. I know that my case would not have been looked into and it was already written up as a suicide attempt, but they are adding in that I admitted it, It is so ridiculous since the entire hospital has me down as being unable to speak for literally days.

I was inside the hospital for longer than a week. This shows that this was not, as they were saying, I was sitting up, talking, I was fine, which is how they made it seem.

I could not make a sentence and I was attacked in the back of the ambulance, beaten up by the ambulance man over the 13 different lies she told about me.

Last year, I had not seen the report the ambulance guy wrote down. He wrote down four extra stories she gave to him, all of which could have been questioned and shown as pure lies by pat. They were writing down lies they more than likely knew were lies, and still he attacked me while I was crying. I was crying since I realized; my gosh my own mother tried killing me and here I am I did not die. But I could not speak my mind. I could not talk and no one would hand me a pencil or pen to try to write something for them. No one would help me tell them what I was trying to say.

The entire smearing of your character has such a profound effect on how others view you. Not one single person said she is trying to tell us something, let’s hand her a pen. I also was in and out of passing out until once I was at the hospital and felt safe and realized no one is going to care.

I let myself fall back out into the darkness. I was not asleep. I could not walk, talk, or do anything but try to heal from the attempt on my life. It literally took me days to get back to walking again. The entire time in the hospital she demanded that I be committed long term to a mental hospital. This is a control issue following if she could not kill me she wanted to maintain control over my life. Also, she wanted me to be separated from my child to ruin my heart and soul. She wanted to break me down and hurt me badly she wanted nothing but to ruin my life. and she got help.

They still have not arrested her and her crimes have continued on and on. I am writing over this and how things went down will be more in detail.

I have taken the steps to gather the reports and the lies, the twisted manipulations that both pat and her lackeys conjured up. And I am going forth to law enforcement, to bring it forward to them.

Am I afraid and concerned I will be shunned out of the place?

Absolutely. That is why I have gathered so much evidence and proof. I also have done some research and I realized only half of the police force are the 40-50 percent of domestic violence abusers (all Cluster B disordered are abusive to victims) so we have a 50 -50 chance if we call for help that

1. if we get one of the 50 percenters, we can be targets and be lied about more for the psychopath

2. the psychopath will just con and lie and control the minds of the police to take up their side

Naturally, they have dozens of false reports that the psychopath knows she gave over the phone repeatedly over the years as (false) proof of the victims “badness.”

3. the officer is uninformed and uneducated and or lazy and just wants to “fit in” and go “along with the crowd” and “not rock the boat” by doing some real investigating, or

4. you get an excellent officer, those 20 percenters that hate being lied to. They hate criminals. They hate others that try to destroy innocent lives and they want the truth to be told and arrest the hell out of that psychopath.

I realized after reading this that, yes, there are so many variables on why they would help lie on the report. I used to think they knew they were writing down lies about myself for years but now that I look, they are told just to document.

A book on amazon about this particular police force, and most in this area, they document and investigate nothing.

100 percent of the character assassinating comments by psychopathic pat could have been investigated and she should have been arrested and charged with multiple counts of the lying to police, whatever charge that is.

Two times she said that I had been arrested on such and such a week or some time ago, and they didn’t even look up their own records to see that the arrest was not even real. She made it up out of thin air to transmit hatred, distrust, and fake proof of my badness, and the reason that she should be believed and helped, and I should be lied about.

There is not one single doubt the report of the attempt on my life is a total lie since the hospital records discount the report in full. But I also am aware now, the doctor she had helping her lied for her to the police officer on the phone. When they called up to see if they needed to investigate this man, the doctor said to them, no don’t worry she sat up talking she was fine. And this man also had heard her confess over and over in the hospital 20 times and ran out of the room afraid of her. I think he did not want to become a target of her wrath and was afraid of her and did anything she said out of fear.

He even took an arrest that never happened and expounded on that arrest to perpetuate the hatred towards me so that anyone I told in the hospital that she admitted to the poisoning would care less.

That is what happens; they smear your character so badly that even if someone believed that they tried ending your life you would be viewed as being unworthy of being helped. Its a two-edged sword.

I hope to come back and give a report that she was arrested and jailed and that there were decent detectives and prosecutors that wanted to help and things went well for me. That is what I am praying and hoping for.

Please send good vibes my way that things will turn out legally, keeping her away from my life, and only arresting her is the only thing that will stop her


I’m Not a Victim of a Psychopath

This is a great attitude to have after having encountered a predatory psychopath, as it is a healthy headspace to be in as you move forward. You have been betrayed, abused, conned, and have certainly lost any combination of precious resources, time, attention, energy, financial, mental, physical, and spiritual health, and wellness. And for what?

For the benefit of a predatory psychopath who seeks to devour the resources of others with no the slightest regard for who they are sucking the life out of, and they will do anything, I mean ANY THING, to do it.

They don’t care if your rotting carcass is left in a ditch somewhere. In fact, they might like that very much, if it couldn’t be linked back to themselves, especially if it looked like suicide. And so many of them are very skilled at making their victims contemplate suicidal thoughts.

These predatory psychopaths only have one program that they run ad infinitum:

Get Everything You Want from Anyone You Can

If you have things he or she has no interest to him or her, you may be able to keep those resources, but be forewarned that even these things, if they can be used against you, may be lost in your predatory psychopathic encounter. And if the psychopath can use these otherwise unwanted or “safe” resources to convert them into something that they do want by another con or series of con games, then you will lose those resources as well.

I have seen the full scale of predatory psychopath victims, from those who have lost a little and were instantly aware of being the “mark” of a predatory psychopath’s scheme, and they were able to stop the process early on. I have also seen people lose everything. I mean EVERY THING, and left to die, with nothing.

It would be a predatory psychopath’s preference to drain you of all your resources, destroy any integrity or relationships that you might have had in your family and the community, and leave you with no way to survive and nothing to live for.

Being a “victim” of such a villain is not a sign of weakness. Though you may resist the thought of referring to yourself as a victim, it is without a doubt, the intention of this “evil” character to fully victimize you. (I put evil in quotes because that’s how prosecutors refer to them if they are known by the system to be predatory psychopaths).

Once I became aware of my predatory psychopathic entanglement, I refused to be the “victim” and took steps to prevent him from further victimizing me. I was confident that I could create a safe and secure environment around me and keep him from doing any further damage.

I was proud of my success in doing so. I maintained a good attitude, kept on living life, maintained a high level of security around myself, and ignored anything he would try to say or do, with confidence that if he could receive no response or energy from me, he would surely just fade away.

While all psychopaths are different and this tactic might work for most of them, this one was infuriated by my ability to neutralize his efforts, and that was when he declared war on me. He spent millions of dollars to discredit and defame me, vowed to destroy me, leaving me in prison, or dead.

So, he launched his campaign. Even with his best efforts, I was resilient, consistent, and firm. Unshaken and actually began to see his efforts as entertainment, as he tried to attack me in any way he could. I saw myself as bulletproof.

That was, until he turned his attacks against my family, friends, and anyone I had any association with.

As these people came to me with their horror stories, I was unable to calm them with, “but he’s just using smoke and mirrors to intimidate and frighten you,” it offered them no relief. They did not know who he was, as I did, and they were deeply concerned, and I tried to explain, they were more offended that it was clear that this was all my fault. That I had unintentionally unleashed the beast on them.

It left me no choice but to put myself back on the front lines and take him on mano a mano.

I would never suggest that anyone attempt to take a predatory psychopath on in a full-frontal attack because, if yours is a masterful one, you, everything, and everyone you care about will suffer the consequences of the assertion of your bravery.

But I felt I had no choice.

As I re-engaged with my psychopath, he immediately stopped attacking everyone else in my circle of influence and refocused all of his efforts on me once again.

I was fortunate enough to complete the battle on top. Again, I would caution anyone to not attempt to take on a predatory psychopath.

I was blessed to be able to exit the battle with very few war wounds (some still remain) and he was forced to fake his death (which he did masterfully) and change his identity (once again).

But the good news is, while he supposed to be dead (just the idea of it gives thousands of victims a sense of peace), he can no longer directly attack me or my people without revealing that he is not dead.

So, all things work out for good.

But I would be wary about ever thinking that I, or anyone else, should take a psychopathic predator on, to teach him or her a lesson.

This has been the knee-jerk reaction of many a victim who has regretted it in the end.

The general rule of thumb is:

Do Not Engage in Combat with a Psychopath


Even the Police May Not Help

I was reading through this site, and after reading Case Study Psychopathic Spin, I have to say something here.

The police have a law that they can’t tell you when someone is making up lies about you. You can’t know what they say unless you know about it in the first place. They get around that by telling you you need an attorney or a subpoena to get the records.

For me, I had no idea for almost three years of the smear campaign. The police were helping him

He would wait for me to go to church in the morning and when I was gone with our daughter he would call and say I was missing and stayed out all night long. Then the police would add worse and say that I stayed out all night long every weekend. You know I have not Stayed out overnight anywhere with her alone ever. That is the crazy part.

The lies were just insane absolutely insane. The goal was him trying to get me committed or arrested and to take my child from me.

That is the scary thing is we are now hiring psychopaths to be our police officers. In my county, the murder rate of family murders is higher than any other murders. This is Fairfax County in northern Virginia.

In July if 2015 my two psychopathic parents came to see me for the first time in about ten years. They tried killing me with an overdose and tried to make it look like a suicide attempt. I didn’t die soon enough for them they waited hours and till the next day to say to my husband what should we do? He said I guess get her some help. They Called 911 and the police lied for them … the cops knew she lied and Fairfax county helped both my parents get Away so far at least with attempted homicide by making the report make it look like I was fine when they left.

What actually was real is I knew it was murder and was trying to say my mom did it – my mom did it! The words weren’t clear but they might have realized – wow – we have been helping this lady and she just tried killing her. We can’t get in trouble, let’s lie and say she was sitting up chatting away able to walk, etc.. I couldn’t say a sentence for over three days because I was in a Coma in the ICU. I wasn’t able to walk until about eight days without being held up. So yeah they lied a lot.

When we hire police that are psychopaths too, they will help the murderers get away with it.

If I would have died what is so sad is that my little girl would have thought I left her alone and Pat and Brian would have laughed about it that they got away with murder.

Since I didn’t die, let me tell you this: it isn’t over, not by a long shot.


I am Married to a Psychopath

I am not what you would call a survivor yet… my husband blindsided me, making me believe that he was Mr. Nice Guy and that we were soulmates.

I was so stupid to ignore all of the warning signs and am so angry at myself. Him, I don’t feel sorry for at all and look at him with disgust and disdain. He knows his tricks don’t wash with me anymore, so he hides from me in our rec-room, staring at the tv set every chance he gets.

He is a porn addict and masturbates everyday…prefers girls between 16-20 years old. I seem to disgust him sexually. He always seemed to have someone on the side, now that I look back.

Now things are coming out of the woodwork…nylons (not mine) underwear, tops, in the wash..which he suddenly decided to do on his own. Texts from women that he claimed he did not know

He has not been intimate with me in 8 years…blaming me of course..I never said no..he did! He was always too tired…

Things began to escalate pretty quickly as he was arrested for domestic abuse with a no contact order.

He controls every aspect of my life and especially the finances… so I got the Crown Attorney to drop the charges after 5 months…BIG MISTAKE!!! He was injured by my audacity to call the police and has punished me every day because of this.

He has shut off my landline phone for a day, the tv, smashed my laptop, thrown full beer cans and 10 lb. weights at me, bully’s me, threatens me and uses the silent treatment to abuse me further. He has isolated me…on and on.

Most recently he looked at me and said: “you are going to die soon!”

The last time the police were called they told me that unless I contributed financially to the bills/rent that he had every right to do as he pleased. I showed them my bruises, they told me that they looked old? Even with blood trickling down my arm?

I will NEVER call the police for help again! I am at a loss now…

I stay barricaded in my bedroom..avoid him… and don’t speak! I have nowhere to go as he has smeared my good name to family and friends.

I have no money, as he controls every cent.

Even so, he is NOT worth taking my own life for… I am here for the duration and hold my head up and try to stay strong with God’s help.

I do wish that Karma will come to him soon because I was a naïve, loyal wife who did everything in her power to make him happy. I don’t have any regrets this way…only the regret of ever caring for this sick psychopath!


Maggie HI

Please Help Me! I am in Love with a Psychopath!

Hello all… I didn’t know where to turn! My girlfriend (I’m sure she is tired telling me he is no good for me, and me saying, “Yes! I know he is no good, but my heart won’t listen!”) gave me this site to check out. It has been 7 mo. now that he has been gone and only 11 days since I “pushed the 9” and I am crying my eyes out, hurting so bad, I have been doubled over in pain for 3 hrs… but the reason for that is the end of the story!

So I am seeking help after the many, MANY articles I have been reading and the videos I have watched about “running” from a psychopath is NOT working! I know my now x-fiancé’ is a psychopath, but my head and heart are at war! We are apart because he was extradited to Calf. from here in Ore on an eight year old charge of “assault with a deadly weapon”. I had bruises on my face when we met (the friend of a girl I helped, who was being abused by her husband, did not like me “butting in” and beat me up!) I never had been in a fight before… anyway, he seemed so VERY concerned and I fell head over heals… there was a definite “world wind” romance… he seemed too perfect! I kept thinking “I am too happy, there has got to be a “boom”! I had lost my husband of 27 years, 4 years earlier, my father, 2 years ago and my brother (we were close, shared the property my dad left) went missing (under suspicious circumstances) right after Ronnie and I met, that was 10 month ago and he has never been found!

Then Ronnie got arrested! It has been a horrible time, he made me feel so special! In the beginning I did have that “something’s wrong” gut feeling, but kept brushing it away until it stopped, thinking it was just me! Had to be me… and I had that I had not been with anyone since my husband died (suicide). He was bi-polar, and it was hard at the end, his depression got so bad, but we loved each other and had an overall loving marriage, both working on keeping it “Young and Alive” as we always said to each other.

When I met Ronnie, I thought I must be the luckiest girl in the world, most people do not find “true love” once in life, let alone twice! WOW, was I deluded, and even as I say that, I want to think there is hope! Our “love” saying was “Yeah/Wow!” Because our sex life was amazing! Then one day, after I was starting to realize that he wanted our relationship to go “stale” (which I could not understand) and I had caught him in a couple of lies, that he exploded and pushed me down, going down with me, putting his forearm down on my neck. (I would have normally fought back, but something told me I was in great danger and to be submissive) What was really something is that in the beginning, he told me ALL the bad things about him…

He “used” to beat all his girlfriends because “I thought that was the way to make them love me, but I know better now!” I had told him I had been through that before with my first husband, and would never allow that again! If he EVER put his hands on me, he was out! He told me how he had been in jail or prison most of his life, never really learned to live on the “outs” but wanted to change! And that he had Hep C… and yet all I could think was, “Man, he is being so honest, he must be for real!” It sure did not hurt that he was VERY handsome and charming! (I know! I have been studding for months now!)

I was “given a sign” (I believe, because of how it came, it was from my husband) after he abused me that I was to kick him out but the day after the sign, I woke up and said to God and my husband, “but, I love him!” 2 weeks later, April this year, he was arrested here in my home at 2:30 in the morning. His bail was $1,700,000! One officer told me it was a “statement!”

So, for 10 months now, I have provided phone call money, sent care packages he needed AND put money on his books. We talked every day for the first 3 months… then on the night of my birthday I had a dream in which I “received” another message (same kind of way as before) in which I was basically told to put his personality traits into the computer and of course as soon as I woke up, I put “charming, sexy, childlike, restless, irresponsible, liar, substance abuse and in and out of jail” (He changed if he drank 2 beers fast, he would use a straw…:) and he had to have to have at least one beer every day, he also admitted in the beginning he was an alcoholic, and that alcohol was involved every time he got into trouble with the law!) And, I always said I would NEVER be with an alcoholic, because both my parents were and the fights were “bloody”.

I was SO totally shocked, after I put those words into the search engine, How to survive a “psychopath” popped up at the top of the page!!! I have been watching every video and reading everything I can on the subject since and just found out that I m an empath. I have also been diagnosed in the past with depression and bi-polar 2. Ronnie passed Dr. Hares test with a 37 out of 40 AND I was being lenient! (you pass as psycopath with a score of 30 or above) I know now, after reading and watching so much on “psychopaths” that I am a major target! I also know that I am suppose to RUN not walk away and never have contact… but I am finding this hard because

1) I really love him! I want a small bit of hope for us, like maybe he is a sociopath (made not born that way) and he can find help and change. He even tells me, “I know I do not know what “real love” is, but you can teach me” and

2) he does not want me to “give up” on him… even though my mind tells me this is just so he can still get what he needs from me financially or because he knows I will research and fight for him (as I already have, to get his meds to him in jail or call his lawyer with this or that…) my heart says, “you should never give up on someone you love, because… maybe, you can “save” them!” Like, with Ronnie, maybe he can finally know love….

But of course, as I have learned, that is EXACTLY what he wants to portray, or convince me of, that this is what he wants, ONLY to keep me hanging on! And I do!… I want to stop, because I see that every time I talk to him, I hang up feeling so much worse, depressed, crying (I have never cried so much in my life, and I am a “crier” over everything!)… So I tell myself STOP! Then I hear that “recorded” message, ladies voice: “hello, you have a pre-paid phone call from… (I hear his voice) “Ronnie” an inmate in a California correctional…” and I run for the phone!

What hurts the most is the 3rd sign just happened on the very date of the 5th anniversary of my husband’s death, 10/17/16 (my husband was a very spiritual man, he loved Jesus and read the bible daily, one of his favorite numbers was 3) anyway, Ronnie called and woke me up to say that because he told his Dr that I thought he was miss-diagnosed bi-polar, that I thought he had “anti-social personality disorder” they were moving him from the “mental ward” (easier) to the general population (the killers) so now I am suppose to feel guilt that

I am the reason for this… even though I had told him I could not really talk or write about what I found out about him due to the fact that I did NOT want it to harm him in any way, since his trial or “deal” (he says he would be happy to get a 6 year deal, if he does not take it to trial) Yet, the trial is set to start the 2nd of Nov. so I am not sure they will offer him anything. BTW he is in a “3 strike law” state and this IS his 3rd strike so if he goes to trial and loses, he will get life! He is 50.

I have been writing this all night, it is now 5:00 am and since Ronnie has been gone, I have, not once, gone to bed willingly! I can’t! Most every night, I stay at my computer until something startles me awake and I then sleepily grab my Chihuahua and finally crawl into bed!

I am so tired of feeling “crazy” for knowing what I am suppose to do, yet not doing it because it will “kill me” not to hear his voice again! He wants us to at least be friends…. Yeah, Wow! And again, I know! Help!


It has now been 3 days since my girlfriend pushed the “9” when Ronnie called! (If you no longer want to receive calls) Don’t get me wrong, I let her, but 3 hours later I was crumpled on my kitchen floor sobbing my heart out… it hurt so much to know that he could not call! The next day his mother left a message saying that Ronnie called and wanted to know if I had blocked his calls… I did call her today and she knows I love him and as I started to tell her what I found out, she did not seem to be shocked by it. As I was crying and telling her I just am so confused and don’t know what to do, she said that I am the only one that can figure that out!

I do know I was the first person her son dated that she liked and I know she had high hopes that I would be good for Ronnie. She will let him know that I just need time to sort out my head and deal with this inner battle; I need to see what happens after a least 2 weeks of no contact. Of course I had to do this when his trial is set to start on the 2nd of Nov (It is 10/26) so I feel really bad knowing he will “need” to talk the day before, he always has, before a scheduled court date. It is also killing me NOT to know what is happening!

I just sure picked a GREAT time to try “no communication”

Second Addendum: It is 11/4 and I finally got the nerve up to look on line at the “case” events and saw that Ronnie took a deal, as always, No Contest/Guilty – 6 years in (any) state prison. I broke down, I have been crying for 3 hrs and my eyes hurt so bad… I just want to die… I don’t want to live without him and I know I can’t live with him, even if I were to wait for him, deep down I know it would turn out bad, SO, yeah… I feel like a walking crazy contradiction of a “nut job” and someone should just put me out of my misery!


Psychopathic Grandmother’s Daughter

My grandmother’s daughter is a classic text book psychopath. As a child to my late teens I was abused both mentally and physically to a terrible extent. One time she even badly beat my dog with a broom handle because I didn’t cry after a particularly horrific beating. I was made to never leave my bedroom. My own blood was often up the walls and over my pillows. Despite the physical pain I always felt on my body I think the internal pain was so much more, it eats me up over 20 years’ later. She constantly moved the lowest kind of men into the home, who wouldn’t even care about what she did to her children. Thing was though, she was always so charming to outsiders – I witnessed it over and over. She was even in a job which entailed trust and respect, but nobody saw what she really was.

I escaped – I had to leave and make my own way in life away from that hell. I did ok, but was and still filled with anxiety and insecurities. I suspect if I saw a psychologist I would be diagnosed with PTSD.

Unfortunately I had to never see the grandmother who I really love. I visited my grandma in my mid 20s once and SHE turned up. I felt sick to the stomach and was so depressed for the next year.

Around 10 years’ ago she talked my father into moving near to her home (they divorced when I was around 11). Obviously then I had to cut ties with my father pretty much, there was no way I could see him. Besides, I felt very betrayed by him although he never knew exactly what my life with her had been.

Sadly for some reason she contacted me to say she had put my father in a care home. He’d been very ill for a long time. I had tried to contact him in the past year or so but he never responded to me so I thought for some reason he had fallen out with me but he was very sick – and nobody told me. In the meantime she got power of attorney over him – his health and financial affairs all under her control. I challenged this and she sent me many long emails – some all upper case and misspelt an her ranting, and others written in a charming manner, such that they were being written for the benefit of others – mainly my father’s nephews and nieces who she has been manipulating and lying to. She was accusing me of wanting my father’s house and money, which couldn’t be further than the truth. All I want is for her to stay out of my father’s and my father’s family’s lives and stop lying, manipulating and being generally evil. ANYBODY else can have power of attorney over him as far as I am concerned, if it’s in his best interests, but her appointment is inappropriate.

I feel sick to the stomach having to deal with her again, and extremely frustrated that nobody around can see her for what she really is. I don’t know why she is doing this. I want to be there for my father, but having to deal with this person is far too much for me to bear, I think I need to just turn my back on everybody and everything in this situation, walk away and never look back.

– Victim Story submitted by user

Case Study: Psychopathic Spin

Sydney, Australia: I worked a late night shift with a subcontractor who seemed to be really friendly and slightly eccentric. He told me he was a 34-year-old virgin. He acted like he really liked me and wanted to go on a date with me. I stayed at his house (didn’t sleep with him) and he showed me his camera he had rigged up to the entrance to his block of flats. It fed to his home office. He wanted to be my boyfriend, and I was quite happy about that. I didn’t see the warning signs – like the time he rolled his eyes at the person on the phone while his voice was being super nice. I told him he didn’t need to pretend or lie to them, just be straight with them. He kept acting like he liked me and I forgot it. He invited me to go overseas with him for part of his holiday trip. The “relationship” lasted three weeks. Three days before he left he said it was “too dangerous” for me to go with him.

What a weird and out of character thing to say.

What I didn’t know was that he was a psychopath. He was documenting me. He had only pretended to be interested in me, and had taken note of everything I had shared in order to use it against me.

He knew that suddenly dumping me via email like that would mean I would have to try to contact him – because we’d be working together on his return, so we’d have to sort out whatever the problem was. I didn’t undertand why the sudden change and I did the logical thing and tried to contact him. He documented/logged every attempt.

He used small seeds of fact to embellish and twist into misleading half-truths and exaggerations. Using that method he could paint an untrue picture of me.

I still didn’t know any of this was going on, it was behind my back I had no idea. Very underhanded. Innocently I just thought he must be very inexperienced with relationships and not understand that if you break up, it is OK – you can still talk to each other and work together. Just be normal.

All the while behind my back he was slandering me to my bosses and colleagues and I had no idea. To this day I don’t know what he said to them.

The first day he returned I was mysteriously taken off my shift at work, and I didn’t know why. I tried to talk to him as others at work had hinted he might be the reason.

I got no response, but was told I’d be put back on the shift. After a couple of months when it didn’t look like I’d be put back on my shift and when Human Resources insisted there was no problem, I took flowers to his flat to try to talk to him.

psychopathic-character-assassinationI buzzed the buzzer and he told me to wait, he’d be down in a minute. So I waited, innocently thinking this was great, we’d have a cup of tea, and sort out whatever the issue was. I waved at his special camera he had rigged up to say hello. I was amazed how easy it was! After 10 minutes of waiting I buzzed again and asked if he was coming down. He said just to give him a second he was in the middle of something. So I waited another 10 minutes before realising he wasn’t coming down. A kind person let me leave the flowers inside (the public area of the flats – just away from the cold thoroughfare where they’d be damaged) and I went home in despair.

What he was in the middle of, was making a video of me standing there innocently waiting for him to come down and talk to me. He took that CD to the local police and lied. He said he was in fear of his life, that I was stalking him etc and convinced them to take out an AVO Application, which he dropped the day it was to go to court. So he never got an actual AVO, and the application would have been rejected as baseless had it ever been heard – but it didn’t matter. The damage was done. The dirty accusations were all over my police file. Every fact he’d ever collected on me was there but twisted and misrepresented until it was something completely different to reality. I never got a chance to explain to the court what had happened. Nobody ever heard my side.

I tried for years to get the dirt off my police file to no avail. Anyone can smear anybody else in Australia as long as they have a seed of fact to present at the local station (like a video footage of someone standing holding flowers for 20 minutes). It’s very easy because the police keep database files on everyone and they don’t have to delete anything or have any of the information proven to be true. Any allegations go straight on there. I couldn’t even get a fair hearing as police fight tooth and nail against anything that might be seen as questioning anything they do. Doesn’t matter that they’ve got lies in their system they’ll fight to the death to prevent anyone correcting it.

Fact vs Psychopath SpinSo your table in the article with “Fact” and “Psycopath spin” is true – this is what happens. Only it is more devastating when it is less exaggerated and more realistic.

Eg: Fact: You called the psychopath (and asked them if they didn’t want to work with you any more, which you had to do to know whether or not to go to Human Resources).

Psycopath spin: You called (and “threatened them”).

The psycopath who did this to me knew about that police data system. I suspect he told similar lies to the workplace and thus got me off my shift. It took a really long time to find out.

I went on to work for the same company in another state, but I’d never work back at that workplace again.

Nobody ever told me the truth or even that it was happening. It is very confusing when you are the only one in the dark and people are character assassinating you behind your back.

To say it was devastating is an understatement. Like your site suggests, the psycopath won. They always win, because they have the advantage of knowledge and you are the one that is blindsided.

You cannot win. You don’t have the information. It is hard for you to get proof. They have been collecting on you for months and you had no idea.

The best you can do is try to recognise them early and don’t let on you know. Document what they do because otherwise they will destroy you. In my case, talking to human resources did no good at all because he’d obviously gone behind my back made up a story and told them it was private and confidential so i never even knew.

The terrifying thing for me is he has turned up at functions where my brother has been and was seen whispering to his companion who turned around and took photographs. Even my family is not safe from this reputation-destroying predator.

Letter to a Pair of Psychopaths

Dear cocksucker and cockroach

Thank you both from the bottom of my heart. I am so happy you both entered my life.

pair of psychopathsLet’s start with you, cocksucker. So young and naive when I began seeing you at the young age of 20 that I didn’t believe I could possibly fall in love with an embarrassing, rude and idiotic fuckwit like you. Having never fallen in love before I thought I could practice sex on someone I didn’t regard and eventually walk away to find a real man. But how wrong I was, and the subsequent abuse and torment I endured for the next two years is a testament to how deeply I could love. I always fought back good…..but could never beat you. Foolishly, I always ended up believing your fake remorse and forgiving you for the physical and emotional acts of torture you carelessly inflicted. Your method – Idealise, devalue, discard. Over and over again.

How many tears I shed, and how many nights I drove at full speed all alone, screaming at the top of my lungs in vain attempts to release myself from the agony you frequently inflicted. I was a mad woman, yes I went fucking crazy, but that was all your doing.

The day I finally left your sorry ass, 27 January 2007, I walked away physically defeated from yet another physical altercation. Though mentally, victory was finally mine. In preparation for this day I had spent two months building my strength and seeing you not as a confused and remorseful soul – but as the evil you are. I was no longer fooled. As I got into my car with clumps of hair falling out at the slightest tug, I stared you straight in the eyes, and I reckon you knew I wasn’t coming back. I remember the look of desperation in your eyes. And you hid in your bedroom like a bitch when my sister came to your house with a baseball bat an hour later. Such a coward.

I said to myself never again will I be that fool. Never again will I suffer at the hands of an evil man. I thought I was aware of what warning signs to look out for. I had two very wonderful and loving relationships after you. But almost a decade later encountered a new breed of pig I had never experienced before…. And the warning signs I was prepared for never came. But you and he are one and the same. Psychopathic predators, cocksuckers, cockroaches.

This lesson started at 28. The cockroach was 36 years old at the time. I guess my loneliness at the time attracted this leech. You see, I’d spent 5 years of my 20’s in wonderfully loving relationships….and I’d been single for a year….hardly even dated. I grew bored and lonely, and in walked in Mr Cockroach. Great attraction, I wanted fun. But I got more than I bargained for.

We got along just fine, he was overly kind and considerate in my home and towards me, so I guess I dismissed my uneasiness to be related to the casual arrangement we had, since it was a new experience for me. All my senses led me to realise he was very promiscuous and a frequent liar….which didn’t fly with me. So after a few months I walked away after catching him in yet another lie. He came back a month or so later and because of the bullshit “connection” I felt and he faked I was able to forgive him. Things appeared to become more intense and feelings grew far stronger for me anyway….though I wasn’t sleeping with him because I was waiting to feel safe emotionally.

He persisted for months, with me occasionally succumbing to my physical urges. When my uneasiness wouldn’t settle I attempted to sever the pseudo-relationship, which only caused him to intensify his efforts, proclaiming his love on many occasions….which only kept me emotionally mixed up. You see I couldn’t see his evil because outwardly he was very polite to me…..I guess because he didn’t yell or call me names or hit me, I was fooled into thinking he was fundamentally good inside……despite his frequent lies, his occasional punishment through stonewalling me or ignoring me when I spoke my mind or tried to assert boundaries.

He played a covert game….he “loved” me with a knife behind his back. At this point I guess the cockroach would have felt a total loss of control, he did express how rejected he felt on a few occasions, and I empathised and offered explanations to validate his self esteem that at the time I felt genuinely responsible for. I was so worried and consumed by the situation that it took me weeks to slowly discover I was being followed through a gps in my car, that he hacked my phone, put a listening device in my bedroom vent, and under my kitchen table…..then he or his desperate drug addicted friends would spend hours throwing bbq heat beads at the roof over various parts of mine or my mum’s house…..follow me in various cars that I later learned he kept hidden in his other double garage which belongs to his dad. He would jump fences and shine torches in my back yard when I was home alone at night. Knock on my front door then run away at 2am to scare me. Prank call my mums house every week when I went there for dinner. Staked out my ex fiancés house and bombarded his house phone with pranks…and god knows what else he did. And I knew it was the cockroach because I saw no one else. This went on for months.

My support system including family and long time friends and my ex helped me through the madness I was once again driven to.

You see I didn’t realise I had remained so naive despite the lessons at age 20 because I had never experienced intimate evil cloaked by such a mask of kindness and generosity.

I’m so glad I know now. I am finally prepared for the real world. I am so happy to be free from these experiences, so grateful for the heart I have that will get to love fully again one day. The only thing that saves my self esteem is finally understanding that they won’t experience love with the next girl, or anyone. That took me a long time to believe. Their punishment is never feeling the real joy of falling in love, understanding someone else’s pain, or feeling any other real emotion. A psychopath only feels shallow emotions or mimics those they see, which is why good people believe them. That’s sad I guess, but right now I just feel relieved at my salvation and the daily karma they get purely by living a hollow existence.

Here goes…..I forgive you both for all the pain you inflicted, every anguished moment you caused, and every tear I shed. I forgive you both.

Yours never,
Elated and fucking free.