6 Steps to Stop a Psychopath

I set out to make a three-minute video with the basics of how to deal with a psychopath in an effort to help more people than the victims who managed to make their way into my office. Thankfully, victims of predatory psychopaths are more rare than you might think, on the other hand, they are also more common, but they are separated by social culture and geography.

I thought my video, if I could do it well enough, would be able to help people quickly identify and take proactive action to protect themselves from further being victimized by the psychopath.

I failed to achieve the three-minute target. The best I could do was ten-minutes. Here is the video:

I felt good about the final, still short, video about having given people enough tools to identify a potential psychopath and take action.

When I released this short film, I also was introduced by the idea that haters abound on the Internet, and they will attack you publicly if you try to do something meaningful, good, and from the heart. Following my initial shock of being attacked by haters and psychopaths for releasing the short, I settled into the knowing that even they are only doing the best they can, and I stopped taking their attacks personally.

My feelings were hurt, at first, just like anyone’s would be (that’s the response the haters want to initiate because they get an emotional hit, a thrill, from having an emotional impact on others, and there’s no better way to do it, than anonymously via the Internet).

By day, these might be normal factory or government workers who feel like they are not appreciated, their efforts are disregarded, they are underpaid, overworked, or even abused by management, and when they get home, lashing out at others via the World Wide Web gives them a sense of relief.

This was not the first time I was attacked via social media, so I should have seen it coming.

Since then, I have helped others who have stepped out in faith, baring their souls, recover from the onslaught of haters. It is a thing. Try not to take it personally, because it really has very little to do with you. Treat them just as you would a psychopath; do not respond or try to defend yourself, as that will only fuel their fire of viciousness.

Don’t let them drag you into their web of drama by responding to any false accusation they’ve made. I know when someone falsely accuses you, you want to defend yourself, but don’t do it. And if one of your friends reads their ridiculous accusatory post and questions you about it, don’t respond to them either. If you respond to your friend at all, just say, “You should know me better than that.”

If you do not respond, the haters don’t get the thrill, and they will move on to someone else who they can get riled up.

6 Steps to Stop a Psychopath

While you may not be able to stop a predatory psychopath from victimizing others, you can stop the victimization and/or abuse that you are suffering by following these six steps.

  1. No Contact

  2. Get Help

  3. Be Quiet

  4. Stay Strong

  5. Documentation

  6. Forgive you

No Contact

The first thing you want to do is to not have any contact with them. “No contact,” means no contact. Cut them off, insulate and isolate yourself from immediately, once you have identified your psychopath.

Don’t try to negotiate, have a rational conversation, or intervention with your psychopath, you will only be wasting your breath and they will use any attempt you make to rectify the situation with even more victimization. Don’t do it.

They will take any opportunity to draw you back in, so they can re-abuse you, and it will be worse the next go-round.

Block them. Block them from everything. Get a protection order. There is a legal piece of paper that you can get from your local courthouse which is referred to as a “No Contact” order. Once the judge signs it, and it has been served, if the psychopath contacts you, you can call 911 and have him or her arrested.

The predatory psychopath will say or do anything to pull you back in, to further victimize you, as long as you still have something, they can take from you. Once they’ve wiped you out of everything, even your will to live, you become meaningless to them, and they move on to the next victim.

Get Help

This is not the kind of thing that you are likely to navigate in a vacuum.  It is extremely advantageous to seek out assistance, being sure to get the help that you can, while you search for more qualified help. Dealing with a psychopath is tricky business, and you want someone who is experienced in this area, like a psychopath victim recovery coach. Avoid seeking help from individuals who may be connected to your psychopath in any way.

Be Quiet

Be quiet about your troubles and interactions with your psychopath. Do not speak about it to family or friends. Why? Number 1: Because the average person who has not been victimized by a psychopath will have no idea what you are going through, and the stories that you would tell – as true as they are – will be unbelievable to someone who doesn’t know any better.

Plus, from people who don’t understand, they are likely to give you really bad advice. They might say something like, “If it were me, I’d beat him with a baseball bat, and drag his bloody carcass through the streets, for all the world to see.” It’s really easy to take on a Clint Eastwood persona, when everything you learn is from TV and the movies. They have no idea what your psychopath is capable of.

Stay away from these reckless individuals, at least while you are trying to establish safety, security, and a healing environment for yourself.

Number 2: Most importantly, your psychopath will be infiltrating your family and friends, will be turning your words and actions around to make you look bad, sick, violent, or even insane. If compromised, your family, friends, and coworkers will be undercover spies for your abuser, collecting and reporting what you say and do to him or her behind your back, while they appear to be caring and compassionate to your face.

Talking about your experience must only be done in a safe environment to people you can trust.

Stay Strong

This is the time to establish your own independence. Set boundaries. Build a fortress around your heart and yourself to protect you from any further victimization. If your psychopath is not finished with you, he or she will say or do anything to woo you back into the fold so that you can be further victimized.

It will take a lot of inner strength to see this through, and you have all the strength within you that you will need. How do I know? Because if it were anyone else, they would have been dead by now.

You are stronger than you think, and you have everything you need inside you. Keep yourself safe and secure, using the resources which are available to you.

This will not be easy, but you can do it.

Documentation

My favorite is to document everything. This is really the only solid tool that you have, and I don’t care what your doctor, psychiatrist, or law enforcement has to say about it, document everything.

It may not make sense now, the Sheriff or police officer might roll their eyes as you make yet another report about someone who they think is not a bad guy. They might say under their breath, as you approach them, “Oh, jeeze, here comes that paranoid, crazy person who has it out for that poor guy again.”  Don’t let them dissuade you. Do it anyway.

You may need this data in the future, because if you find yourself having to tangle with this predator in court, where he or she might be facing prison time, he or she will do everything they can to turn it around on you, and get you thrown in prison.

In law enforcement, it is said, “If it isn’t documented, it didn’t happen.” So, document everything and report incidents as they happen, if you can.

When I was in the process of documenting everything, hundreds of things started happening to me, and I reported as many of them as I could, and in most cases, it could have never been proved that Richard did these things or had them done. So, the authorities started to think I was a nut-job, but I continued to report them as they happened when I could. I wasn’t leaving without a report number.

On one instance, I reported my break lines being cut, and there were rumors spread by Richard accusing me of doing things to myself in an effort to frame him. Don’t let these things get to you. These people can’t help it, if they don’t know any better. Keep documenting.

Every once in a while, you might accidentally end up with proof to back up one of you (previously thought of as “crazy” reports) thanks to unintentional third-party intervention (thank heaven for 7-11 surveillance videos).

Forgive You

You must have grace and compassion for yourself. Be willing to forgive yourself, first and foremost, for any part that you may have played, as you were being played by the predatory psychopath.

It’s easy to beat yourself up and blame yourself for getting into this psychopathic entanglement but be steadfast in your knowing that you were not at fault here. You were stalked and attacked by a cunning predator hell-bent on your destruction.

These six steps are not complete, by any means, but if you have fully engaged in the second step, the “get help,” this assistance will help to fill in the gaps of anything other steps you might need to take which are specific to your situation and your psychopath.

I would never devalue your being victimized by a predatory psychopath. On the contrary, your victimization is a blessing. Not in the moment, by any means. But the world needs empowered survivors or psychopathic abuse to help others, and to raise awareness in both counseling and law enforcement communities about the realities of this segment of our society.

Most people are forever wounded and afraid of ever speaking or doing anything about the subject, and who could blame them?

But you may be one of those who were called to fight the good fight, and help others who need someone who knows what they are going through.

You, and only you, could be hugely supportive to someone who is feeling as though they are drowning in psychopathic trauma, because you know what it’s like. You’ve been there, and you’ve come out on the other side of it. This can give someone else who is suffering or suicidal tremendous hope.

In this way, your psychopathic experience could be considered a “gift” one day, as you go on to live a better life, your best life, and even help to make the world a better place.

You might even like to become a Certified Psychopath Victim Recovery Coach.

David M Masters

I’ve been coaching and training my whole life, since high school, and I didn’t really think there were bad people out there. I was very shocked when the universe threw me into a situation where I was face to face with a psychopath. As much as I hate to go there, I heard law enforcement, judges, attorneys, and prosecutors saying that these people are actually defined as being “evil.”

I don’t know if I necessarily agree with that, but maybe, the fact that they have no conscience, some people say, “They have no soul,” maybe they are. You wouldn’t question someone’s being “evil” in the extreme. We’ve heard stories about people who have abducted people, cut them up, and put them in the freezer. That would definitely be an extreme and we would consider that person as being evil.

Most victims of psychopaths don’t even know they’re a victim of a psychopath until it’s too late. Because these are very charming individuals, they can really get under your skin. They are the people that we love on the one hand, until they have shown their true colors, and then, it’s debilitating.

Unfortunately, there is not a lot of good training out there for counselors and therapists. Before twenty years ago, if you came into my office, you’d have been in the same boat. Back in the day, if you came into my office and said, “I’m being attacked by a psychopath!” I would respond with, “Oh, really? Let’s sit down and talk about this.”

I’d lead with questions, like, “Why do you think this person is a psychopath?” and, “Why do you feel like you’re being attacked?” You know the routine, right? Because it was the furthest thing from my mind, that there were really people out there like that. As if it’s obviously a misconception of some kind.

And especially if someone said they were married to one, in business with someone, or related to one, like my brother, my aunt, my uncle.

How could that even be?

I don’t live in a world like that. In my world, which revolves around the people I love, like my kids. I have a son who is a cybersecurity specialist, a daughter who is an actress, who was just in two movies which were released back to back, Ecco and Friday the 13th Vengeance. (I know, she’s Seattle’s scream queen. When we see her on-screen she’s usually screaming, or covered in blood). Then there’s my other daughter who had her own punk rock band, is an artist in multiple disciplines, and works with the Girl Scouts of America. They have blessed me with a host of grandchildren, and I love these guys more than anything.

When I’m dealing with a psychopath and the psychopath attacks me, that’s one thing. But if he goes after these guys, my people? It’s a different thing. It’s on, like Donkey Kong.

Psychopathy is a spectrum. A psychopath on the left side of the spectrum is going to drive down the street, see a rodent crossing the road, and swerve toward it (bump, bump), and reward himself with a little giggle about doing so. On the other end, you ‘ve got people in the freezer.

It is a broad-spectrum, with any possibility between those two extremes. The people who I work with; are dealing with predatory psychopaths on the dark side of the spectrum, which are on the right side but a bit to the left of the extreme.

There is a lot of them, but there might not be as many as you might think. If you’ve been victimized y a psychopath, your friends probably have not. So, they have no frame of reference. They think you’re being ridiculous.

Just like, it took me fifteen years to find out there were people out there, like this. I didn’t run across any first-hand. I didn’t even know. You just do the best you can with what you have.

~David M Masters

Why Me?

The first question you ask when you’ve been victimized by a psychopath is, “Why me?”

Every victim wants to know why they got singled out, and targeted to be the victim in this scenario?

In my practice, when someone comes in who has been a victim, I’m as grateful as possible as this person has been honored with the position of being a psychopath victim. That sounds crazy, but anyone else besides this person could not have survived the attack by that psychopath. This is a very special person. This is somebody who has the wherewithal to make it, because anyone else? They would have taken their own life by now. It’s that serious.

When you’re in the muck and you’re covered in blood, you can’t see it. But you really are blessed by this, and there are so many other people out there who really need to get this information from you, because no matter how much school a person goes to, you cannot make that connection with a patient unless you’ve worn those shoes, and you know what it feels like.

When you tell your story of what happened to you, people are not going to be able to understand what you’re saying, if they don’t know what you’ve been through. It doesn’t make any sense. Nobody’s going to believe it’s true.

Psychopath Identification

First off, it’s a good idea to know if you’re really dealing with a psychopath. Who are they?

There are probably over a hundred attributes of psychopaths and I’ve narrowed it down to these six. If you find these six characteristics in one person, there’s a pretty good chance you’re dealing with a psychopath. And if it’s not a psychopath, it’s still a bad guy. Right? So, we’d take the same steps. No matter what type of toxic individual that might be.

  1. Charismatic

  2. Smart

  3. No Feelings

  4. Impulsive

  5. Winners

  6. Never Wrong

Not all psychopaths are bad. In fact, our government regularly recruits psychopaths to conduct activities and take on jobs that a normal person just could not do, yet these guys have unparalleled expertise in certain areas, where any pf the rest of us would be utterly useless.

It’s crazy, but apparently, we need these guys in our society, our government relies on them heavily.

So, there are places where they could use their powers for good, instead of evil.

Their impulsivity usually leads them down many roads of addiction. The psychopath seeks to get he maximum feeling out of every moment and the ways they get excited are varied, and chemical solutions to heightening awareness, sensitivity, and feelings of exhilaration abound.

There are also natural methods which give a psychopath an exhilarated feeling, such as simply stepping on an ant. They get a little thrill from that, but imagine how they would feel if they could do that to a real live person? Whoa! What a thrill they get, and they do it whenever they can.

Because psychopaths are winners, it’s impossible to negotiate with them. A successful negotiation will result in everyone getting what they want, or at least some concession(s). With these guy’ there’s no give and take, it’s only “winner takes all” and they are going to win no matter what.

If you try to negotiate or bargain with them, they will reach into their bag of dirty tricks and start turning everything you’ve said or done in the past, twist it up enough to be unrecognizable, weaponize it, and deploy it against you if any negotiation gets too resistant to the achievement of their goal(s).

Sometimes, we get one. We put them behind bars for a while. For predatory psychopaths of the criminal persuasion, this is little more than a parking ticket.

I was able to help put Richard behind bars, and to him it was a “no thing.” In fact, he said, “I can do five years on my head in a toilet.” Which is true. He continued to manipulate others and commit crimes outside of prison from within its walls, and worked his own brand of manipulation inside the walls, vacillating between acting as a “legal beagle.”

While there is “honor among thieves,” there is no honor among psychopaths. Inside he also operated as a “snitch,” rolling over on his contemporaries to build his “relationship” with staff. Everyone is a potential victim. He did so, in essence, to convince the warden that he was “one of them.” This earned him regular trips from population to solitary confinement during his stay for purposes of “protection.”

To psychopaths, detentions is like taking a coffee break, as the stigma which applies to you and me, does not apply to them. They do not have that intimidation, and they do not see incarceration as a “bad thing.” It is just an extension of their working environment.

Plus, imprisonment a great investment vehicle for the criminally minded, as they may only pay the price for one crime out of every fifty, they commit. While they are inside, they have full access to the State Law Library, and get to learn all the latest criminal technologies from other criminals while they are in there. It’s like an all-expenses-paid extended stay at a crime training boot camp.

There is no effective punishment for a predatory psychopath. You can (for the most part) separate them from society momentarily and impede their ability to victimize a greater number of individuals, but you cannot punish them or make them feel bad about their misdeeds.

They may, on the other hand, act remorseful and make persuasive appeals to counselors and parole boards, explaining how sorry they are, how they’ve had a change of heart, or found God. They will act very convincingly, even producing tears, willing to say anything if they think it will help sell their case, so they can return to the playground filled with unlimited opportunities for further victimization.

Never Wrong

Just try to correct one of these guys and see what happens. To them, it will always be someone else’s fault and if anyone was victimized, it was the psychopath, of course.

If you even try to assert that you were right about anything, and they were wrong, be forewarned that you will be subjecting yourself to a lengthy, detailed, exhaustive monologue about how incredibly wrong you are.

Let’s say you catch a psychopath in the act, and you try to explain the concept of theft to them. They cannot comprehend your point of view because they see the taking of someone else’s resources as a normal mode of operation. Thieves often explain that the act of thievery is a job. So, if they’ve stolen something, they have received the stolen items in exchange for conducting their work. Stealing is their job and the stolen items, or the money received from them, is their compensation.

“If they gave it to me, freely, and wanted it back? That would be one thing. I’d give it back.” But if they had to work for it, break-in, or otherwise swindle or con someone out of it, it’s rightfully theirs. They worked for it. That’s how they see it.

They don’t get it.

Different Kinds of Psychopaths

Just as there are all kinds of individuals, no two predatory psychopaths are the same, and some of them have specializations. They subscribe to a certain type of victimization which they have found works very well for them. While their crimes against others may vary, they will often share similar characteristics. Some examples are:

  • abusive psychopath
  • animal abuse psychopath
  • child abuse psychopath
  • con artist psychopath
  • controlling psychopath
  • criminal psychopath
  • educational psychopath
  • elder psychopath
  • embezzler psychopath
  • exploitative psychopath
  • financial psychopath
  • illicit substance psychopath
  • imposter psychopath
  • intimidation psychopath
  • leadership psychopath
  • lover psychopath
  • manipulative psychopath
  • masquerading psychopath
  • military psychopath
  • pathological liar psychopath
  • political psychopath
  • religious psychopath
  • romantic psychopath
  • serial killer psychopath
  • sexual psychopath
  • storyteller psychopath
  • thief psychopath
  • verbally abusive psychopa9th
  • violent psychopath
  • vulnerability psychopath

Interestingly in the State of Washington, where I reside, thanks to Richard and other predatory victimizers, there is a new State extension of law enforcement which focuses on the protection of vulnerable adults.

Predatory psychopaths are always on the lookout for fresh meat, so to speak, and elder adults who are not as sharp as they once were make excellent and easy prey. And, if they’re anything like Richard W Bennett, they will clean you out of everything you have, if given the chance.

Internet Weapons for Psychopaths

There is growing concern around the world about how predatory psychopaths use technology to run con games, manipulate and control people, and exert their revenge on their squirming victims. It is an issue that is very present in the minds of law enforcement and even at this advanced stage is still hard to get a handle on.

And it’s not just the psychopaths using these new technologies, it’s all kinds of predators, criminals, mentally unstable, and even pedophiles are using emerging technologies and social media to recruit, groom, and exploit their victims.

Catch Me If You Can

Have you ever seen the film, “Catch Me If You Can,” with Leonardo Di Caprio and Tom Hanks? I have been asked so many times if this film was about conman Richard W Bennett and Detective James Clarkson. While it is not the case, at all, many see the similarities between Di Caprio’s character, Frank Abagnale, and Bennett’s real-life exploits.

I haven’t said two words about him in public until now. I’ve never mentioned him.

Richard W Bennett

This is the guy that opened my eyes to the reality of psychopathy. I testified against him in a trial that led to his incarceration for elder abuse.

There was a vulnerable adult in our community who had been a newspaper carrier his whole life. This gentleman was well-known and revered throughout the community and we all gave him a nod of approval anytime we saw him delivering papers or collecting cans.

Even with his mental and emotional challenges, he had amassed a respectable retirement nest egg for himself to live out his elder years, which he was clearly in the midst of in his late-seventies.

Richard W Bennett (his name at the time) befriended this vulnerable adult, becoming his “best friend” and financial consultant, and proceeded to take him for everything he had, leaving him homeless and penniless. While Richard lived in the lap of luxury, buying exotic cars, and illicit drugs, living the high life, spending this sensitive man’s money as fast as he could.

That was when I met Richard, Detective James Clarkson, FBI Agent Joe Lurf, and subsequently testified for the State in the case against Bennett.

At that moment he declared war against me, and swore he would do anything he could, sparing no expense, to destroy me, my family, turning anyone I knew against me, and put me behind bars. His last words to me, made from a phone call from a holding cell at the County Jail, were, “You’re lucky right now, because it’s me inside here instead of you, but your days are numbered.”

I calmly replied, “You are hereby notified, never to contact me again. We are done here.” And I hung up the phone, while I heard him raise his voice and say, “Wait…” (click). I was done, but he had only begun.

He announced his death with the cooperation of his brother, Robert Paul Bennett, on October 12, 2015.

Victims of Psychopaths Event

If you’ve experienced trauma at the hands of a predatory psychopath, then you need to take action now to set yourself free from the terrorization of the psychopath who is abusing you.

It must stop now.

Once you have distanced yourself enough and have carved our safe and sacred space to do your deep inner work, healing can occur, and freedom is available to you.

I know there is little that is more unsettling than suffering at the hands of a predatory psychopath, sociopath, or toxic narcissist, but there is hope, and we are here for you.

It might be helpful for you to reach out to others who have “been there,” because no one who has not walked in the shoes of a victim of a psychopath could have any idea what is really going on.

You can attend an event, like this one (and you could attend remotely, by watching it on a Facebook Live stream).

VICTIMS OF PSYCHOPATHS

 

October 19th, 2019, Olympia Center

Admittance: FREE

FREE EVENT. Open to all victims of predatory psychopaths, sociopaths, or toxic narcissists. Take control of your life, stop the abuse and victimization. Disarm the predator, get your life back, and heal from the trauma from your psychopathic encounter.

Schedule of events:


Full Spectrum Victim Recovery

9:00 a.m.

Class Description: If you feel victimized by life, this attitude will continually create more experiences of victimization.

Mark and Lynetta will lead you through 3 interactive exercises to bust the victim game and reclaim your power. When you transcend Victim Games, you become Victorious in your life and begin the new game of empowered creation.

Instructors: Mark Siedler & Lynetta Avery


PTSD Recovery

9:45 AM a.m.

Class Description: We will learn what PTSD is, as well as signs and symptoms of PTSD in adults as well as children. We will explore some positive ways of coping with PTSD and its fears and anxiety.

Instructor: Wendy Lynn Johnson


Dealing with Toxic People

10:30 AM a.m.

Class Description: Toxic people are everywhere, and they’re here to stay. You may not be able to escape them completely, but there are simple tricks that you can use to overcome their toxic behavior. Learn how to come out on top in a confrontational situation without stooping to their level. Take steps to repel psychopaths at every level in your life. And develop the ability to set your life on the right foundation to stand tall above toxicity at every level.

Instructor: Daniel Mark Schwartz


How to Deal with a Psychopath

11:45 a.m.

Class Description: Predatory psychopaths are the most harmful members of society, and fortunately 90% of Americans never encounter the dark side of the psychopath who lives and operates on the dangerous end of the antisocial personality disorder spectrum. Often confused with the narcissistic sociopath, the predatory psychopath will drain the life, finances, and any other resources he or she may access, leaving the victim broken and broke. Early detection with a simple psychopath test, and protecting yourself right now can help.

Instructor: David M Masters


 

Event Location: Olympia Center, Rm 200, 222 Columbia St NW, Olympia, WA 98501

Visit St. Paul’s Free University for more information.

 

You may wonder why you would allow yourself to be victimized by such a cunning predator, or why “God” would allow this to happen to you.

The answer may be:

You were strong enough to endure the experience

and

You were called to help others who are suffering right now

And your unique experience qualifies you more than anyone else to help victims of psychopaths have hope of recovering from their loss and psychopathic trauma.

I am looking for people, just like you, to help others to heal from severe psychopathic abuse.

Please contact me if you would like to help others in the fight against the relentless abuse and trauma permeated by predatory psychopaths.