How to Deal with a Psychopath Video

Hello, my name is David Masters and I’m the author of the Psychopath Victims Toolkit.

A little about me, I’ve been counseling and consulting since the late seventies/early eighties. Occasionally, in the course of my coaching, I would encounter a client that had to mitigate the damages in their life due to the influence of a third-party individual, a “bad person.”

how-to-deal-with-a-psychopath-videoFrom my perspective, there were no such thing as bad people, just lost souls wandering aimlessly through life with little regard for others; and so, the advice that I gave to individuals in those days was very different than I might suggest now.

What I learned, was that there are people who are devoid of particular mental, emotional and spiritual components that compromises their humanity when integrating with other persons, we call these people psychopaths, sociopaths and the recent, more political correctly referred to as being on the Antisocial Personality Disorder spectrum.

That said, there are thousands of variables and no two psychopaths are identical, but they do share many similar characteristics.

So, how can you tell if you’re dealing with a psychopath? Here are some common signs that would indicate that you might be dealing with a psychopath in your life:

Is-he-or-she-a-psychopath-6-item-checklist1. CHARISMATIC

Psychopaths are charismatic and are able to attract supporters easily.

They are wonderful speakers who are able to engage their audience and can easily engage the emotions and attention of those fortunate enough to be in their presence.

They exaggerate stories skewing the truth for their self-serving benefit, and will go as far as to lie and place themselves in someone else’s story and claiming it is their own.

2. SMART

Psychopaths are intellectual. They have a gift of having incredibly sharp wit and intelligence enabling them to masquerade as highly-educated as they bob and weave socially in live situations.

This also makes them excellent con artists able to conceive, plan and execute elaborate schemes, while staying one step ahead of the authorities.

3. NO FEELINGS

Psychopaths have no feelings. They do not grieve, are incapable of feeling guilt, shame or remorse, empowering them to easily victimize anyone. They will enthusiastically engage in anything that bolsters their position at someone else’s expense.

They do not love. They are incapable of giving or receiving love, but terribly acute at acting as though they are madly in-love, if it will help them achieve a desired result.

They are great actors/performers giving them the ability to create any perception of themselves that will achieve for them their desired result.

Even though they can appear to have emotions and use them as tools to manipulate their victims, let there be no doubt, they have no real feelings whatsoever.

4. IMPULSIVE

Psychopaths are impulsive, often acting or speaking without thinking through potential consequences of their words or actions, and are more likely to spontaneously take risks.

They are free of repercussion, since they see themselves as above the law or the constraints of the social norm. No social filters, consequences or guilt.

5. WINNERS

Psychopaths never lose. They will dominate anyone who gets in their way, will viciously defend their position, often by telling lies and spinning wild tales in an effort to discredit anyone with the inclination to disagree with them.

If you are naïve enough to challenge them, be aware that they will wield their powers of persuasion to make you look like a fool for questioning them. Which presumes that they believe themselves to be:

6. NEVER WRONG

Psychopaths are always right. They never apologize; do not feel remorse for hurting others and are incapable of feeling guilt.

If asked to apologize, a psychopath will often strike out and attack their victim, rather than admit they may have made a mistake or misstep.

Now ask yourself, is the person you’re dealing with a psychopath?

Are they charismatic, smart, have no feelings, impulsive, always the winner and never wrong?

Chances are, you’re face-to-face with a psychopath.

You’re probably saying to yourself, “I knew it. I knew there was something wrong with that person…” You are realizing that you should rely more on your intuition that may have been warning you when you first met this person that something was not quite right. If only we learn to listen more to our gut, we would live happier, safe and secure lives, free from those who seek to exploit us.

If nothing else, that is the lesson to be learned from encountering a psychopath, is to trust your instincts and to not let yourself be taken advantage of by a cunning predator.

I would not, now, be an expert in the field of psychopathy had I not had my own first-hand experience with an evil psychopath that opened my eyes to the realities of the disorder. And now I have deep regret for all the folks that I was ill-equipped to be compassionate enough to reach out to them appropriately.

In this way, I may have attracted this psychopathic presence in my own life to benefit those whom it is my calling to assist along their life’s journey.

So, we’ve established that you have found yourself to be the unfortunate victim – or mark – of a psychopath, sociopath or someone amidst the antisocial personality disorder spectrum…

What Can You Do About It?

How to Deal With a Psychopath

How-to-deal-with-a-psychopath-6-item-checklist1. NO CONTACT

The very first thing to do is to crate as much separation as you can as soon as possible between yourself and the psychopath.

You need to distance yourself physically, financially, emotionally, spiritually and in any other way possible from the psychopath and cease any and all communication with him or her, period.

Any further communication or contact after correctly identifying a psychopath will only lead to more risk, or potential loss to you and yours.

Be aware that as you distance yourself, the psychopath will try to cling to you or play on your emotions in order to further victimize you. Do not fall for their manipulation or pity ploys from this point forward. They will try to appeal to your feeling but keep in mind they have no feelings and no regard for yours, except as a method to further victimize you.

You must cut them off. No contact, means no contact. Though this may not be possible, if you work or live with the psychopath; but that will be an issue to be handled specifically and independently of the scope of this primary message.

2. GET HELP

Next, you will need a strong support system. You should seek out a professional, a counselor or therapist, with experience in dealing with psychopaths. Note that early in my practice, even though individuals sought me out for assistance, I was ill-equipped to offer them the support that they needed at the time.

How can someone understand what you are going through, if they do not understand what you are going through… because – and I am as guilty of this as anyone – “things can’t really be all that bad.” But they are, and they can be very bad, and they can get worse if you do not take the appropriate actions.

Seek out a specialist, or at least someone with experience dealing with victims of psychopaths.

3. BE QUIET

Do not talk to your friends about the psychopath. You might think this is a good time to reach out to those in your circle of friends that you can depend on for support, but chances are (if the psychopath has done his or her homework) they have already gotten to them in advance.

If your friends have not been compromised by the psychopath, there is a good chance that they will be, and be forewarned very few people can compete with the ability to manipulate the minds of the unsuspecting, like the psychopath.

Keep things quiet. Do not confront your psychopath, engage in a battle of wits, challenge or attempt an intervention with your psychopath. This will only open you up for further potential pain, suffering and potential loss.

They psychopath has the uncanny ability to turn anything that you say against you. Don’t give them the opportunity.

4. STAY STRONG

Stay the course. If the psychopath has counter-attacks you, don’t respond.

If you communicate anything to this person it should only be silence. Be steadfast and unshakeable, solid as a rock.

He or she must realize that you cannot be manipulated or be bullied into making any kind of response, no matter what they do or say.

Keep a good posture, positive outlook, smile and be confident (even if you don’t feel like it) at all times.

Any indication of weakness will be seen as an opportunity either to insert themselves or launch another attack.

5. DOCUMENTATION

how-to-deal-with-a-psychopath-sociopath-david-m-mastersDocument everything. Keep hard copies of everything you can to document any interaction or statements made by your psychopath and keep it at a secure location.

Watch what you say. Act as if every word you speak is being recorded, and may be read to a jury in the future word-for-word and spun out of context in an effort to make you look like a lunatic.

Maybe someday the people who once trusted you will see the truth, but even so, if your psychopath was a masterful one, they will still wonder about you, even after the true colors of the psychopath are made known.

So, don’t hold onto the false hope of one day being vilified of all the illicit accusations that were made against you. In most cases the effects are permanent, though may fade over time. Maybe, in the afterlife…

6. FORGIVE YOURSELF

Most of all, forgive yourself. You were not the perpetrator, here, you were the victim. And as a victim you may have found yourself in vulnerable or compromising situations, and you may feel like the fool. But you were not the fool. Anyone could be victimized by the proficient psychopath and it happens every day in all walks of life and levels of society.

You could not have seen this coming… but now that you are aware, you are less likely to become a victim again… and maybe you can help others to see the signs – or at least be aware – that there are evil people out there, the virtual wolves in sheep’s clothing, who seek to destroy the lives of others without remorse.

Thank you for joining me for this message. It is my hope that this information will help to save you and other from further potential pain, suffering or loss at the hands of the psychopath. Pass this information on to others who may be potential victims.

For more information, or to contact me, visit psychopath victims dot com.

The Psychopath Checklist

The Psychopath Checklist

1. GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM — the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Psychopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A psychopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.

2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH — a grossly inflated view of one’s abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Psychopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.

3. NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM — an excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Psychopaths often have a low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.

4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING — can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.

5. CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS- the use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one’s victims.

6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT — a lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and unempathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one’s victims.

7. SHALLOW AFFECT — emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.

8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY — a lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.

9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE — an intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.

10. POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS — expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.

11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR — a variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.

12. EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS — a variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.

13. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS — an inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.

14. IMPULSIVITY — the occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.

15. IRRESPONSIBILITY — repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.

16. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS — a failure to accept responsibility for one’s actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.

17. MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS — a lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.

18. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY — behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.

19. REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE — a revocation of probation or other conditional release due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.

20. CRIMINAL VERSATILITY — a diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes.

© Hare, R. (1991) The Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised. Toronto: Multi-Health Systems.