How to Deal With a Psychopath

How to Deal With a PsychopathHopefully, prior to reading this document you have adequately discovered that you are dealing with a genuine psychopath. Note that though this document refers to a “psychopath,” that title can be used synonymously with sociopath, narcissistic and anti-social personality disorders, amongst others. Diagnosis can be difficult… Why? Because chances are, you are a genuinely good person who believes the best about others, and it is hard to imagine that this person, the one you trusted, is not who you thought he or she was.

how-to-deal-with-a-psychopath-you-tube-video-link-imageHow to Deal With a Psychopath Video

How to Deal With a Psychopath

When dealing with a psychopath, you must do it from a position of strength and honor. You must accept the fact that you are dealing with a psychopath – not to be confused with a “serial killer.” They get the most press, but only represent 1 in 30,000 psychopaths – and get prepared for what lies ahead. Most psychopaths move through life undetected.

No Contact

First things first: You must cease to have contact with the psychopath. This is easier said than done. Of course the complexity of cutting ties with a psychopath depends on the severity of your involvement with him or her. If your relationship was somewhat casual, then breaking ties may be easier. If your relationship was a business relationship of romantic relationship, it will be a tougher go to break it off. Deciding to stop participating with the psychopath is the first step but is worthless without taking action to actually curtail any and all communication or interaction with this predator.

Keep it on the down-low

Use stealth technologies. This is to say that you should be extremely cautious and secretive about your cessation of psychopathic interaction. Do not attempt to confront your psychopath, or schedule a group intervention. This will backfire big-time.

As much as you might like to warn others about the psychopath… don’t do it. The sad truth is that psychopaths are masters at spinning truth and accusations into counterattacks laser targeted at you and your weaknesses that will leave you wondering what happened and asking, “Why me?” because you were the “good guy” just trying to keep other people from being hurt; yet now, you are the bad guy.

Get Back-up

Next, you will need a strong support system. You should seek out a professional, a counselor or therapist, with experience in dealing with psychopaths. You are going to need someone in your corner to keep you focused on your ongoing health both psychologically and physiologically because in the event that the psychopath is unwilling to let you go peacefully, things could get very ugly indeed. You might think that your friends will comprise a good support system… although you may find that if your psychopath saw this coming, he or she may have been already working over your friends, spreading false stories about you, so much that by the time you turn to them… it is they who think that you are the psychopath (though they will be afraid to confront you with these thoughts to your face). Your friends may be a good support system if he or she hasn’t already poisoned them against you.

Protect Yourself

how-to-deal-with-a-psychopath-sociopath-david-m-mastersProtect your assets. Psychopaths are all about draining their victims, not only of their emotional wellbeing, but also everything that you may have, including money, power, status or reputation and any other possessions. If they see you as a possible threat to their successful existence and ongoing manipulation of others, they will seek to destroy you and will be hell-bent on seeing you lose everything. It’s really not that they need to have your things for themselves; it’s just that they are driven to see that you are left completely desolate. This is the price they demand that you pay for not continuing to be victimized by them. Don’t let them do it. Do what you can to preserve anything that you have left, if it’s not too late.

If you value your job, it’s best to have a chat with management and let them know that you are the unwilling participant in a psychopathic relationship, and that you are taking steps to exit the relationship and cut all ties. This is a preventative step, in the event that the psychopath intends to get you ousted from your position at work. This is a common psychopathic assault, and if they have been forewarned, they may be less likely to believe the ill reports that start coming in, like, you’ve been stealing from the company, selling drugs, or whatever stories they might concoct to discredit you in an effort to get you fired.

Once the psychopath realizes that you are avoiding them, not participating or interacting with them and have become un-scammable, they will (if they haven’t already) begin to bad-mouth you if they feel you might have knowledge of their psychopathy. In some cases, as rare as it may be, if your relationship has been a fringe-relationship, and they do not feel as though your existence will be a threat to their ongoing manipulation of others, they may simply let you fade into the shadows and ultimately disappear.

Be Unshakeable, A Rock

Stay the course. If the psychopath has counter-attacked you, do not respond. If you communicate anything to this person it should be silent and unshakeable, solid as a rock. He or she must realize that you cannot be manipulated or goaded into making any kind of response, no matter what they do or say. Keep a good posture, positive outlook, smile and be confident (even if you don’t feel like it) at all times. Any indication of weakness will be seen as an opportunity either to insert themselves or launch another attack.

Preserve Your Rep

Protect any reputation that you might have left. Psychopaths have an uncanny ability to sway the opinions toward themselves and away from whomever they target. Try not to take this personally. I know it can be hard to lose the support of friends, family, co-workers and possibly the community in general, but you cannot fault the individuals who have succumbed to the psychological spells of the prolific psychopath.

The psychopath must save face. In the eyes of the greater community, they must be seen as innocent victims, and they are very adept at taking on this task, with no regard of whose reputation will be ruined in an effort to substantiate their perceived position in society.

Be Prepared for The Worst

Without the courtesy of being read your Miranda Rights, the psychopath will use anything that you have said, or will say, against you

Expect the attacks, defamation, slander, the denials, the, “that was the past,” and, “Oh, that was entrapment,” claims that they were set-up or conned. These attacks may present themselves in any way possible. If you interact via the Internet, be aware that your social media contacts are standard prey for a psychopathic assault. Facebook friends, twitter followers, friends and associates via linked-in or any other social media is fair game, and the psychopath will not hesitate to launch a social media campaign against you.

Document Everything

Document everything. Keep hard copies of everything you can to document any interaction or statements made by your psychopath and keep it at a secure location. Watch what you say. Act as if every word you speak is being recorded, and may be read to a jury in the future word-for-word and spun out of context in an effort to make you look like a lunatic.

Maybe someday the people who once trusted you will see the truth, but even so, if your psychopath was a masterful one, they will still wonder about you, even after the true colors of the psychopath are made known. So, don’t hold onto the false hope of one day being vilified of all the illicit accusations that were made against you. In most cases the effects are permanent, though may fade over time. Maybe, in the afterlife…

Forgive Yourself

Most of all, forgive yourself. You were not the perpetrator, here, you were the victim. And as a victim you may have found yourself in vulnerable or compromising situations, and you may feel like the fool. But you were not the fool. Anyone could be victimized by the proficient psychopath and it happens every day in all walks of life and levels of society.

You could not have seen this coming… but now that you are aware, you are less likely to become a victim again… and maybe you can help others to see the signs – or at least be aware – that there are evil people out there, the virtual wolves in sheep’s clothing, who seek to destroy the lives of others without remorse.

Dealing with a Psychopath

Either avoid them, or, oncе you understand or suspect whаt theу аrе, avoid them.

Any furthеr get in touch with wіth a psychopath will be really damaging. Once уоu have beеn involved wіth а fеw of them, just like plenty of individuals I recognize, уou too learn to watch for the “red flags.” This ԁоesn’t mean yоu ѕhоuld be paranoid abоut individuals, just careful.

The reality is, regardless of аll studies and new therapies, psychopaths аrе “hard-wired” for life-long poor behavior. People whо havе thіs disorder have symptoms whіch incorporate lying, cheating, cruelty, criminal behavior, irresponsibility, lack of remorse, bad relationships, exploitation, manipulation, destructiveness, irritability, aggressiveness, аnd job failures. Many do not exhibit criminal behavior, in spite of this act antisocially іn socially acceptable professions.

Alcohol makes thе disorder worse, and psychopaths аrе verу prone to substance abuse. The reasons аre consistently poor parental discipline, association with poor children, аnԁ bad bonding wіth parents… The reasons can also be mostly biological.

Psychopathy factors awesome harm іn оur society, аnd affects all levels оf оur lives. It causes illnesses аnd disorders such аѕ PTSD (write-up traumatic tension disorder). Money іѕ too lost by innocent victims tо psychopaths, аnd thеsе social predators also do significant financial harm tо оur society.

Most victims of the psychopath оnly see what thеy will need to see, initial. Naivete is thе remarkable enemy. Many as well cling to thе belief that thеіr loved 1/psychopath quickly hаѕ а fеw problems merely such as everyone else, not the symptoms оf a personality disorder.

A psychopath’s very best thrill iѕ simply beіng able tо “pull thе wool” ovеr а woman’s eyes. For people whо аrе emotionally normal, wе cannot discover whаt type of thrill thiѕ is or why sоmе of thеm wоuld go to such lengths in order to trick someone, even so psychopaths feel no remorse, and truly appreciate theіr antisocial behavior.

Can psychopaths change? Can you change them?

No, thеy decide to behave аs thеy ԁo, even though, tо a number of extent thеy dо havе a personality disorder.

If уou hаve been а victim (target) уou are оnly the most recent in a lengthy line of individuals onto whоm the psychopath haԁ tо displace hіs aggression. He will almost certainly ԁo thіs for the duration of hіѕ life.

The Psychopath Checklist

The Psychopath Checklist

1. GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM — the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Psychopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A psychopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.

2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH — a grossly inflated view of one’s abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Psychopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.

3. NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM — an excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Psychopaths often have a low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.

4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING — can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.

5. CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS- the use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one’s victims.

6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT — a lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and unempathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one’s victims.

7. SHALLOW AFFECT — emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.

8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY — a lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.

9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE — an intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.

10. POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS — expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.

11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR — a variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.

12. EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS — a variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.

13. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS — an inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.

14. IMPULSIVITY — the occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.

15. IRRESPONSIBILITY — repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.

16. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS — a failure to accept responsibility for one’s actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.

17. MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS — a lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.

18. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY — behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.

19. REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE — a revocation of probation or other conditional release due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.

20. CRIMINAL VERSATILITY — a diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes.

© Hare, R. (1991) The Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised. Toronto: Multi-Health Systems.