Please Help Me! I am in Love with a Psychopath!

Hello all… I didn’t know where to turn! My girlfriend (I’m sure she is tired telling me he is no good for me, and me saying, “Yes! I know he is no good, but my heart won’t listen!”) gave me this site to check out. It has been 7 mo. now that he has been gone and only 11 days since I “pushed the 9” and I am crying my eyes out, hurting so bad, I have been doubled over in pain for 3 hrs… but the reason for that is the end of the story!

So I am seeking help after the many, MANY articles I have been reading and the videos I have watched about “running” from a psychopath is NOT working! I know my now x-fiancé’ is a psychopath, but my head and heart are at war! We are apart because he was extradited to Calf. from here in Ore on an eight year old charge of “assault with a deadly weapon”. I had bruises on my face when we met (the friend of a girl I helped, who was being abused by her husband, did not like me “butting in” and beat me up!) I never had been in a fight before… anyway, he seemed so VERY concerned and I fell head over heals… there was a definite “world wind” romance… he seemed too perfect! I kept thinking “I am too happy, there has got to be a “boom”! I had lost my husband of 27 years, 4 years earlier, my father, 2 years ago and my brother (we were close, shared the property my dad left) went missing (under suspicious circumstances) right after Ronnie and I met, that was 10 month ago and he has never been found!

Then Ronnie got arrested! It has been a horrible time, he made me feel so special! In the beginning I did have that “something’s wrong” gut feeling, but kept brushing it away until it stopped, thinking it was just me! Had to be me… and I had that I had not been with anyone since my husband died (suicide). He was bi-polar, and it was hard at the end, his depression got so bad, but we loved each other and had an overall loving marriage, both working on keeping it “Young and Alive” as we always said to each other.

When I met Ronnie, I thought I must be the luckiest girl in the world, most people do not find “true love” once in life, let alone twice! WOW, was I deluded, and even as I say that, I want to think there is hope! Our “love” saying was “Yeah/Wow!” Because our sex life was amazing! Then one day, after I was starting to realize that he wanted our relationship to go “stale” (which I could not understand) and I had caught him in a couple of lies, that he exploded and pushed me down, going down with me, putting his forearm down on my neck. (I would have normally fought back, but something told me I was in great danger and to be submissive) What was really something is that in the beginning, he told me ALL the bad things about him…

He “used” to beat all his girlfriends because “I thought that was the way to make them love me, but I know better now!” I had told him I had been through that before with my first husband, and would never allow that again! If he EVER put his hands on me, he was out! He told me how he had been in jail or prison most of his life, never really learned to live on the “outs” but wanted to change! And that he had Hep C… and yet all I could think was, “Man, he is being so honest, he must be for real!” It sure did not hurt that he was VERY handsome and charming! (I know! I have been studding for months now!)

I was “given a sign” (I believe, because of how it came, it was from my husband) after he abused me that I was to kick him out but the day after the sign, I woke up and said to God and my husband, “but, I love him!” 2 weeks later, April this year, he was arrested here in my home at 2:30 in the morning. His bail was $1,700,000! One officer told me it was a “statement!”

So, for 10 months now, I have provided phone call money, sent care packages he needed AND put money on his books. We talked every day for the first 3 months… then on the night of my birthday I had a dream in which I “received” another message (same kind of way as before) in which I was basically told to put his personality traits into the computer and of course as soon as I woke up, I put “charming, sexy, childlike, restless, irresponsible, liar, substance abuse and in and out of jail” (He changed if he drank 2 beers fast, he would use a straw…:) and he had to have to have at least one beer every day, he also admitted in the beginning he was an alcoholic, and that alcohol was involved every time he got into trouble with the law!) And, I always said I would NEVER be with an alcoholic, because both my parents were and the fights were “bloody”.

I was SO totally shocked, after I put those words into the search engine, How to survive a “psychopath” popped up at the top of the page!!! I have been watching every video and reading everything I can on the subject since and just found out that I m an empath. I have also been diagnosed in the past with depression and bi-polar 2. Ronnie passed Dr. Hares test with a 37 out of 40 AND I was being lenient! (you pass as psycopath with a score of 30 or above) I know now, after reading and watching so much on “psychopaths” that I am a major target! I also know that I am suppose to RUN not walk away and never have contact… but I am finding this hard because

1) I really love him! I want a small bit of hope for us, like maybe he is a sociopath (made not born that way) and he can find help and change. He even tells me, “I know I do not know what “real love” is, but you can teach me” and

2) he does not want me to “give up” on him… even though my mind tells me this is just so he can still get what he needs from me financially or because he knows I will research and fight for him (as I already have, to get his meds to him in jail or call his lawyer with this or that…) my heart says, “you should never give up on someone you love, because… maybe, you can “save” them!” Like, with Ronnie, maybe he can finally know love….

But of course, as I have learned, that is EXACTLY what he wants to portray, or convince me of, that this is what he wants, ONLY to keep me hanging on! And I do!… I want to stop, because I see that every time I talk to him, I hang up feeling so much worse, depressed, crying (I have never cried so much in my life, and I am a “crier” over everything!)… So I tell myself STOP! Then I hear that “recorded” message, ladies voice: “hello, you have a pre-paid phone call from… (I hear his voice) “Ronnie” an inmate in a California correctional…” and I run for the phone!

What hurts the most is the 3rd sign just happened on the very date of the 5th anniversary of my husband’s death, 10/17/16 (my husband was a very spiritual man, he loved Jesus and read the bible daily, one of his favorite numbers was 3) anyway, Ronnie called and woke me up to say that because he told his Dr that I thought he was miss-diagnosed bi-polar, that I thought he had “anti-social personality disorder” they were moving him from the “mental ward” (easier) to the general population (the killers) so now I am suppose to feel guilt that

I am the reason for this… even though I had told him I could not really talk or write about what I found out about him due to the fact that I did NOT want it to harm him in any way, since his trial or “deal” (he says he would be happy to get a 6 year deal, if he does not take it to trial) Yet, the trial is set to start the 2nd of Nov. so I am not sure they will offer him anything. BTW he is in a “3 strike law” state and this IS his 3rd strike so if he goes to trial and loses, he will get life! He is 50.

I have been writing this all night, it is now 5:00 am and since Ronnie has been gone, I have, not once, gone to bed willingly! I can’t! Most every night, I stay at my computer until something startles me awake and I then sleepily grab my Chihuahua and finally crawl into bed!

I am so tired of feeling “crazy” for knowing what I am suppose to do, yet not doing it because it will “kill me” not to hear his voice again! He wants us to at least be friends…. Yeah, Wow! And again, I know! Help!
Kathleen

Addendum:

It has now been 3 days since my girlfriend pushed the “9” when Ronnie called! (If you no longer want to receive calls) Don’t get me wrong, I let her, but 3 hours later I was crumpled on my kitchen floor sobbing my heart out… it hurt so much to know that he could not call! The next day his mother left a message saying that Ronnie called and wanted to know if I had blocked his calls… I did call her today and she knows I love him and as I started to tell her what I found out, she did not seem to be shocked by it. As I was crying and telling her I just am so confused and don’t know what to do, she said that I am the only one that can figure that out!

I do know I was the first person her son dated that she liked and I know she had high hopes that I would be good for Ronnie. She will let him know that I just need time to sort out my head and deal with this inner battle; I need to see what happens after a least 2 weeks of no contact. Of course I had to do this when his trial is set to start on the 2nd of Nov (It is 10/26) so I feel really bad knowing he will “need” to talk the day before, he always has, before a scheduled court date. It is also killing me NOT to know what is happening!

I just sure picked a GREAT time to try “no communication”

Second Addendum: It is 11/4 and I finally got the nerve up to look on line at the “case” events and saw that Ronnie took a deal, as always, No Contest/Guilty – 6 years in (any) state prison. I broke down, I have been crying for 3 hrs and my eyes hurt so bad… I just want to die… I don’t want to live without him and I know I can’t live with him, even if I were to wait for him, deep down I know it would turn out bad, SO, yeah… I feel like a walking crazy contradiction of a “nut job” and someone should just put me out of my misery!

-Kathleen

Psychopathic Grandmother’s Daughter

My grandmother’s daughter is a classic text book psychopath. As a child to my late teens I was abused both mentally and physically to a terrible extent. One time she even badly beat my dog with a broom handle because I didn’t cry after a particularly horrific beating. I was made to never leave my bedroom. My own blood was often up the walls and over my pillows. Despite the physical pain I always felt on my body I think the internal pain was so much more, it eats me up over 20 years’ later. She constantly moved the lowest kind of men into the home, who wouldn’t even care about what she did to her children. Thing was though, she was always so charming to outsiders – I witnessed it over and over. She was even in a job which entailed trust and respect, but nobody saw what she really was.

I escaped – I had to leave and make my own way in life away from that hell. I did ok, but was and still filled with anxiety and insecurities. I suspect if I saw a psychologist I would be diagnosed with PTSD.

Unfortunately I had to never see the grandmother who I really love. I visited my grandma in my mid 20s once and SHE turned up. I felt sick to the stomach and was so depressed for the next year.

Around 10 years’ ago she talked my father into moving near to her home (they divorced when I was around 11). Obviously then I had to cut ties with my father pretty much, there was no way I could see him. Besides, I felt very betrayed by him although he never knew exactly what my life with her had been.

Sadly for some reason she contacted me to say she had put my father in a care home. He’d been very ill for a long time. I had tried to contact him in the past year or so but he never responded to me so I thought for some reason he had fallen out with me but he was very sick – and nobody told me. In the meantime she got power of attorney over him – his health and financial affairs all under her control. I challenged this and she sent me many long emails – some all upper case and misspelt an her ranting, and others written in a charming manner, such that they were being written for the benefit of others – mainly my father’s nephews and nieces who she has been manipulating and lying to. She was accusing me of wanting my father’s house and money, which couldn’t be further than the truth. All I want is for her to stay out of my father’s and my father’s family’s lives and stop lying, manipulating and being generally evil. ANYBODY else can have power of attorney over him as far as I am concerned, if it’s in his best interests, but her appointment is inappropriate.

I feel sick to the stomach having to deal with her again, and extremely frustrated that nobody around can see her for what she really is. I don’t know why she is doing this. I want to be there for my father, but having to deal with this person is far too much for me to bear, I think I need to just turn my back on everybody and everything in this situation, walk away and never look back.

– Victim Story submitted by user

Case Study: Psychopathic Spin

Sydney, Australia: I worked a late night shift with a subcontractor who seemed to be really friendly and slightly eccentric. He told me he was a 34-year-old virgin. He acted like he really liked me and wanted to go on a date with me. I stayed at his house (didn’t sleep with him) and he showed me his camera he had rigged up to the entrance to his block of flats. It fed to his home office. He wanted to be my boyfriend, and I was quite happy about that. I didn’t see the warning signs – like the time he rolled his eyes at the person on the phone while his voice was being super nice. I told him he didn’t need to pretend or lie to them, just be straight with them. He kept acting like he liked me and I forgot it. He invited me to go overseas with him for part of his holiday trip. The “relationship” lasted three weeks. Three days before he left he said it was “too dangerous” for me to go with him.

What a weird and out of character thing to say.

What I didn’t know was that he was a psychopath. He was documenting me. He had only pretended to be interested in me, and had taken note of everything I had shared in order to use it against me.

He knew that suddenly dumping me via email like that would mean I would have to try to contact him – because we’d be working together on his return, so we’d have to sort out whatever the problem was. I didn’t undertand why the sudden change and I did the logical thing and tried to contact him. He documented/logged every attempt.

He used small seeds of fact to embellish and twist into misleading half-truths and exaggerations. Using that method he could paint an untrue picture of me.

I still didn’t know any of this was going on, it was behind my back I had no idea. Very underhanded. Innocently I just thought he must be very inexperienced with relationships and not understand that if you break up, it is OK – you can still talk to each other and work together. Just be normal.

All the while behind my back he was slandering me to my bosses and colleagues and I had no idea. To this day I don’t know what he said to them.

The first day he returned I was mysteriously taken off my shift at work, and I didn’t know why. I tried to talk to him as others at work had hinted he might be the reason.

I got no response, but was told I’d be put back on the shift. After a couple of months when it didn’t look like I’d be put back on my shift and when Human Resources insisted there was no problem, I took flowers to his flat to try to talk to him.

psychopathic-character-assassinationI buzzed the buzzer and he told me to wait, he’d be down in a minute. So I waited, innocently thinking this was great, we’d have a cup of tea, and sort out whatever the issue was. I waved at his special camera he had rigged up to say hello. I was amazed how easy it was! After 10 minutes of waiting I buzzed again and asked if he was coming down. He said just to give him a second he was in the middle of something. So I waited another 10 minutes before realising he wasn’t coming down. A kind person let me leave the flowers inside (the public area of the flats – just away from the cold thoroughfare where they’d be damaged) and I went home in despair.

What he was in the middle of, was making a video of me standing there innocently waiting for him to come down and talk to me. He took that CD to the local police and lied. He said he was in fear of his life, that I was stalking him etc and convinced them to take out an AVO Application, which he dropped the day it was to go to court. So he never got an actual AVO, and the application would have been rejected as baseless had it ever been heard – but it didn’t matter. The damage was done. The dirty accusations were all over my police file. Every fact he’d ever collected on me was there but twisted and misrepresented until it was something completely different to reality. I never got a chance to explain to the court what had happened. Nobody ever heard my side.

I tried for years to get the dirt off my police file to no avail. Anyone can smear anybody else in Australia as long as they have a seed of fact to present at the local station (like a video footage of someone standing holding flowers for 20 minutes). It’s very easy because the police keep database files on everyone and they don’t have to delete anything or have any of the information proven to be true. Any allegations go straight on there. I couldn’t even get a fair hearing as police fight tooth and nail against anything that might be seen as questioning anything they do. Doesn’t matter that they’ve got lies in their system they’ll fight to the death to prevent anyone correcting it.

Fact vs Psychopath SpinSo your table in the article with “Fact” and “Psycopath spin” is true – this is what happens. Only it is more devastating when it is less exaggerated and more realistic.

Eg: Fact: You called the psychopath (and asked them if they didn’t want to work with you any more, which you had to do to know whether or not to go to Human Resources).

Psycopath spin: You called (and “threatened them”).

The psycopath who did this to me knew about that police data system. I suspect he told similar lies to the workplace and thus got me off my shift. It took a really long time to find out.

I went on to work for the same company in another state, but I’d never work back at that workplace again.

Nobody ever told me the truth or even that it was happening. It is very confusing when you are the only one in the dark and people are character assassinating you behind your back.

To say it was devastating is an understatement. Like your site suggests, the psycopath won. They always win, because they have the advantage of knowledge and you are the one that is blindsided.

You cannot win. You don’t have the information. It is hard for you to get proof. They have been collecting on you for months and you had no idea.

The best you can do is try to recognise them early and don’t let on you know. Document what they do because otherwise they will destroy you. In my case, talking to human resources did no good at all because he’d obviously gone behind my back made up a story and told them it was private and confidential so i never even knew.

The terrifying thing for me is he has turned up at functions where my brother has been and was seen whispering to his companion who turned around and took photographs. Even my family is not safe from this reputation-destroying predator.

Letter to a Pair of Psychopaths

Dear cocksucker and cockroach

Thank you both from the bottom of my heart. I am so happy you both entered my life.

pair of psychopathsLet’s start with you, cocksucker. So young and naive when I began seeing you at the young age of 20 that I didn’t believe I could possibly fall in love with an embarrassing, rude and idiotic fuckwit like you. Having never fallen in love before I thought I could practice sex on someone I didn’t regard and eventually walk away to find a real man. But how wrong I was, and the subsequent abuse and torment I endured for the next two years is a testament to how deeply I could love. I always fought back good…..but could never beat you. Foolishly, I always ended up believing your fake remorse and forgiving you for the physical and emotional acts of torture you carelessly inflicted. Your method – Idealise, devalue, discard. Over and over again.

How many tears I shed, and how many nights I drove at full speed all alone, screaming at the top of my lungs in vain attempts to release myself from the agony you frequently inflicted. I was a mad woman, yes I went fucking crazy, but that was all your doing.

The day I finally left your sorry ass, 27 January 2007, I walked away physically defeated from yet another physical altercation. Though mentally, victory was finally mine. In preparation for this day I had spent two months building my strength and seeing you not as a confused and remorseful soul – but as the evil you are. I was no longer fooled. As I got into my car with clumps of hair falling out at the slightest tug, I stared you straight in the eyes, and I reckon you knew I wasn’t coming back. I remember the look of desperation in your eyes. And you hid in your bedroom like a bitch when my sister came to your house with a baseball bat an hour later. Such a coward.

I said to myself never again will I be that fool. Never again will I suffer at the hands of an evil man. I thought I was aware of what warning signs to look out for. I had two very wonderful and loving relationships after you. But almost a decade later encountered a new breed of pig I had never experienced before…. And the warning signs I was prepared for never came. But you and he are one and the same. Psychopathic predators, cocksuckers, cockroaches.

This lesson started at 28. The cockroach was 36 years old at the time. I guess my loneliness at the time attracted this leech. You see, I’d spent 5 years of my 20’s in wonderfully loving relationships….and I’d been single for a year….hardly even dated. I grew bored and lonely, and in walked in Mr Cockroach. Great attraction, I wanted fun. But I got more than I bargained for.

We got along just fine, he was overly kind and considerate in my home and towards me, so I guess I dismissed my uneasiness to be related to the casual arrangement we had, since it was a new experience for me. All my senses led me to realise he was very promiscuous and a frequent liar….which didn’t fly with me. So after a few months I walked away after catching him in yet another lie. He came back a month or so later and because of the bullshit “connection” I felt and he faked I was able to forgive him. Things appeared to become more intense and feelings grew far stronger for me anyway….though I wasn’t sleeping with him because I was waiting to feel safe emotionally.

He persisted for months, with me occasionally succumbing to my physical urges. When my uneasiness wouldn’t settle I attempted to sever the pseudo-relationship, which only caused him to intensify his efforts, proclaiming his love on many occasions….which only kept me emotionally mixed up. You see I couldn’t see his evil because outwardly he was very polite to me…..I guess because he didn’t yell or call me names or hit me, I was fooled into thinking he was fundamentally good inside……despite his frequent lies, his occasional punishment through stonewalling me or ignoring me when I spoke my mind or tried to assert boundaries.

He played a covert game….he “loved” me with a knife behind his back. At this point I guess the cockroach would have felt a total loss of control, he did express how rejected he felt on a few occasions, and I empathised and offered explanations to validate his self esteem that at the time I felt genuinely responsible for. I was so worried and consumed by the situation that it took me weeks to slowly discover I was being followed through a gps in my car, that he hacked my phone, put a listening device in my bedroom vent, and under my kitchen table…..then he or his desperate drug addicted friends would spend hours throwing bbq heat beads at the roof over various parts of mine or my mum’s house…..follow me in various cars that I later learned he kept hidden in his other double garage which belongs to his dad. He would jump fences and shine torches in my back yard when I was home alone at night. Knock on my front door then run away at 2am to scare me. Prank call my mums house every week when I went there for dinner. Staked out my ex fiancés house and bombarded his house phone with pranks…and god knows what else he did. And I knew it was the cockroach because I saw no one else. This went on for months.

My support system including family and long time friends and my ex helped me through the madness I was once again driven to.

You see I didn’t realise I had remained so naive despite the lessons at age 20 because I had never experienced intimate evil cloaked by such a mask of kindness and generosity.

I’m so glad I know now. I am finally prepared for the real world. I am so happy to be free from these experiences, so grateful for the heart I have that will get to love fully again one day. The only thing that saves my self esteem is finally understanding that they won’t experience love with the next girl, or anyone. That took me a long time to believe. Their punishment is never feeling the real joy of falling in love, understanding someone else’s pain, or feeling any other real emotion. A psychopath only feels shallow emotions or mimics those they see, which is why good people believe them. That’s sad I guess, but right now I just feel relieved at my salvation and the daily karma they get purely by living a hollow existence.

Here goes…..I forgive you both for all the pain you inflicted, every anguished moment you caused, and every tear I shed. I forgive you both.

Yours never,
Elated and fucking free.

Mom on-the-run

One day I met a lady, a lovely lady, very charming, had three wonderful children. I soon learned this lady was in a destructive situation with the father of her youngest child. She told me all the gory details which I could relate to and believed she was in a situation with a sociopath.

I instantly offered my support because I believed I could help her get out of the situation and rid herself of her sons destructive father. I encouraged her to go to the police and fight for full custody of her son. She did both!

She got an injunction against him and took him to court and he lost his parental rights and in tern lost all access to his son. I ended up for the next 4 years being a father figure to her 3 children. She apparently was always at work or at business meetings.

I began to feel like a single father of 3 children when in reality I was just a friend of their mum. I picked them up from school, made their dinner, did their homework with them, got them tucked up in bed and then she would roll home. This was 5 days a week and then at weekend 2 of the children went to stay with their father and the 3rd came to stay at mine.

She very rarely saw her children and certainly never spent any quality time with them. This lady said she had her own business within social services, employed numerous people and was some property big wig, I had no reason to doubt her!

Super-psychopath-momAfter time the cracks started to appear, things didnt ring true and it became evident that she was lying to me. Basically she prayed on me when I was very vulnerable and undergoing therapy for post traumatic stress disorder after what I’d been through with my health in the hands of a sociopath. She manipulated me on a totally different level and she functioned very different to my ex partner. The last straw was when I got a phone call off a man she claimed not to be sleeping with but was, he asked me if I was well.

Obviously I questioned why would he be interested in my health. He said my so called friend had told him that I was dying from cancer and had used that to manipulate £5000 out of him. She said she wanted to make the time I had left the best time of my life.

I wasnt surprised to hear this because it became evident to me on other occassions that she lied about her own health and others many times to me before. She even told her own elderly parents that she had cancer. There was a point in my so called friendship with her when I told her about my health and she then went on to say she also had HIV, I never believed her!

I wanted to walk away about 2 years ago but felt responsible for the children, however her 2 daughters have now left home and gone to live with their father because of her lies and destructive behaviour, and fortunately for her son shes now manipulated a very kind lady in to living with her so i know for now the child still there with her will be ok.

My only concern is that she’s lied in a family court and lost an innocent man his parental rights and a wonderful little boy his father.

I feel guilty because I supported her in this because I too believed her lies. I feel its only right to expose her to the court, but dont want to make myself vulnerable. For once in my life I had to put myself first. I just hope she doesnt cause me any trouble now I’ve walked away and cut all ties.

Would really appreciate peoples thoughts.

This story was submitted by a psychopath victim. – Admin

Blood Drawn, STDs – Why Me?

Why me!!! It appears that i’m a magnet to sociopaths to the degree I have lost all trust in people and spend the majority of my time alone.

I have really suffered at the hands of these evil creatures. Not only mental abuse but my health is also in tatters. In 2005 I met a charming man who worked within the care industry, he was in the choir and appeared to be held in high regard within society.

I’m not afraid to take responsibility for making bad choices but it became evident that i was manipulated in to making those choices. A sexual relationship with this man soon developed and based on his believable reasons no protection was used.

Four months into the relationship I fell really ill and ended up in hospital. Many tests were run and it was discovered that I had throat cancer. I was devastated but got no support whatsoever from my partner, not even a visit in hospital. Whilst having to come to terms with being diagnosed with cancer my doctor informed me that the tests also showed serious inflammation of my liver.

Beware-psychopath-gifts-hiv-syphilis-hepatitis-b-std-psychopath-victimsThey questioned how much alcohol I drank but I dont drink so that was out the question. Up on reflection I asked the doctor to give me a full sexual health screen to rule hepatitis out. When the results came back I went in to shock, I was HIV positive, had Hepatitis B and to top it all I had syphilis. I truly believed my life was over. It all started to make sense why my partner wouldnt visit me in hospital.

After a couple of weeks in hospital I was eventually allowed home to continue treatment as an outpatient. My partner was there to greet me, he said not to worry he still wanted me even if no one else would, under the circumstances I felt grateful. Both my parents have sadly passed and I have one sister of whom ive never had a close relationship with, and I didnt feel able to reach out for support from my friends due to the stigma attached to HIV so kept them at arms length and intern felt very isolated.

Over the next few months things went from bad to worse, I wasnt working because of my health and intern I had a lot of time to reflect.

To cut a long story short it became evident the man who claimed to love me had intentionally infected me with his infections and when I threatened to go to the police he attacked me with a knife, fortunately I only suffered minor injuries. I ran out the house and telephoned the police. When the police arrived I was outside in total fear of my life. They went in the house only to find him covered in blood! He’d cut himself with the knife a said I’d attacked him.

They arrested us both and I spent the night in prison. I was released in the morning pending further inquiries, he was released later on that day and manipulated his way straight back in to my home. I was desperate for the police to help me but was left feeling like a bunny boiler, I felt more isolated than ever!!

Why couldnt they see through his charm?!

I was under the power of a sociopath, had no support, my health was in the gutter and I was at a point were I could quite easily have given up. By this time i’d done my homework and ended up learning all about his destructive behaviour and what he was, a sociopath!

I’m not a doctor so couldnt go to the police and say my partner is a sociopath, help me I’m trapped. So i had to learn to play the game and get him out of my life.

After being told on a daily basis I was suicidal and that if I went to the police he would get to me before they got to him and I would be found in a pool of blood he left me. I thought that I’d won the battle to get my life back but then the death threats started. Emails saying ‘hit and run soon’ etc. I was more vulnerable than ever but at least by this time the police started to listen.

The police went to arrest him but couldnt trace him, he’d gone on the run! He left his home, car, job and family and hasnt been seen since. The police insisted I move house for my own safety, which I did. They installed panic buttons in my home and various other gadgets for my protection. Fortunately the death threats have since subsided but that doesnt mean that one day he wont raise his vile head again. This sociopath cost me My health, my life savings, my home and friends = my life. I can only hope and pray he doesnt come back and find me.

A year later in 2008 my health was under control, the cancer treatment had gone amazingly well, the syphilis treatment was 100% successful and I’d gone on meds and my HIV had become undetectable, however I still had Hepatitis B and the doctors said it was now unlikely I would clear it. I was just grateful to have my life back.

This story was submitted by a psychopath victim. – Admin

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There are numerous reasons to do background checks however not all the solutions are reputable. Cautionary Tales – many background check providers on the internet have received bad critiques for negative service to outright ripoffs with almost nothing delivered for the money and unauthorized fees. Many, if not most, are database driven systems vulnerable to error, and if the managers of the company don’t care about consumers, they become a lousy option.

We do not choose to make an effort detailing the features of all the various services until they successfully pass an important test of customer support. Consequently we choose to not fool around with features reviews if the company selling their product and service fails the customer grievances check. Of course, no one will have total customer satisfaction, regardless of what industry you’re in, however, these services come out with good results and a minimum of consumer complaints.

Background checks have gotten as common as contacting references when you hire new people, and doing criminal arrest lookups is very important when you’re thinking about a new childcare professional or tutor, and even a new romance. Engaging in background searches, criminal arrest record lookups, pre-employment and tenant screenings is a strategy to keep you, your family as well as your money and business safer. Likewise, carrying out renter record lookups helps make your task as a property owner a lot easier and safeguards your rentals and . Additional potential benefits to background investigation services include prompt people look ups that give you the contact info you might want for friends, family members or co-workers.

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How to Deal with a Psychopath Video

Hello, my name is David Masters and I’m the author of the Psychopath Victims Toolkit.

A little about me, I’ve been counseling and consulting since the late seventies/early eighties. Occasionally, in the course of my coaching, I would encounter a client that had to mitigate the damages in their life due to the influence of a third-party individual, a “bad person.”

how-to-deal-with-a-psychopath-videoFrom my perspective, there were no such thing as bad people, just lost souls wandering aimlessly through life with little regard for others; and so, the advice that I gave to individuals in those days was very different than I might suggest now.

What I learned, was that there are people who are devoid of particular mental, emotional and spiritual components that compromises their humanity when integrating with other persons, we call these people psychopaths, sociopaths and the recent, more political correctly referred to as being on the Antisocial Personality Disorder spectrum.

That said, there are thousands of variables and no two psychopaths are identical, but they do share many similar characteristics.

So, how can you tell if you’re dealing with a psychopath? Here are some common signs that would indicate that you might be dealing with a psychopath in your life:

Is-he-or-she-a-psychopath-6-item-checklist1. CHARISMATIC

Psychopaths are charismatic and are able to attract supporters easily.

They are wonderful speakers who are able to engage their audience and can easily engage the emotions and attention of those fortunate enough to be in their presence.

They exaggerate stories skewing the truth for their self-serving benefit, and will go as far as to lie and place themselves in someone else’s story and claiming it is their own.

2. SMART

Psychopaths are intellectual. They have a gift of having incredibly sharp wit and intelligence enabling them to masquerade as highly-educated as they bob and weave socially in live situations.

This also makes them excellent con artists able to conceive, plan and execute elaborate schemes, while staying one step ahead of the authorities.

3. NO FEELINGS

Psychopaths have no feelings. They do not grieve, are incapable of feeling guilt, shame or remorse, empowering them to easily victimize anyone. They will enthusiastically engage in anything that bolsters their position at someone else’s expense.

They do not love. They are incapable of giving or receiving love, but terribly acute at acting as though they are madly in-love, if it will help them achieve a desired result.

They are great actors/performers giving them the ability to create any perception of themselves that will achieve for them their desired result.

Even though they can appear to have emotions and use them as tools to manipulate their victims, let there be no doubt, they have no real feelings whatsoever.

4. IMPULSIVE

Psychopaths are impulsive, often acting or speaking without thinking through potential consequences of their words or actions, and are more likely to spontaneously take risks.

They are free of repercussion, since they see themselves as above the law or the constraints of the social norm. No social filters, consequences or guilt.

5. WINNERS

Psychopaths never lose. They will dominate anyone who gets in their way, will viciously defend their position, often by telling lies and spinning wild tales in an effort to discredit anyone with the inclination to disagree with them.

If you are naïve enough to challenge them, be aware that they will wield their powers of persuasion to make you look like a fool for questioning them. Which presumes that they believe themselves to be:

6. NEVER WRONG

Psychopaths are always right. They never apologize; do not feel remorse for hurting others and are incapable of feeling guilt.

If asked to apologize, a psychopath will often strike out and attack their victim, rather than admit they may have made a mistake or misstep.

Now ask yourself, is the person you’re dealing with a psychopath?

Are they charismatic, smart, have no feelings, impulsive, always the winner and never wrong?

Chances are, you’re face-to-face with a psychopath.

You’re probably saying to yourself, “I knew it. I knew there was something wrong with that person…” You are realizing that you should rely more on your intuition that may have been warning you when you first met this person that something was not quite right. If only we learn to listen more to our gut, we would live happier, safe and secure lives, free from those who seek to exploit us.

If nothing else, that is the lesson to be learned from encountering a psychopath, is to trust your instincts and to not let yourself be taken advantage of by a cunning predator.

I would not, now, be an expert in the field of psychopathy had I not had my own first-hand experience with an evil psychopath that opened my eyes to the realities of the disorder. And now I have deep regret for all the folks that I was ill-equipped to be compassionate enough to reach out to them appropriately.

In this way, I may have attracted this psychopathic presence in my own life to benefit those whom it is my calling to assist along their life’s journey.

So, we’ve established that you have found yourself to be the unfortunate victim – or mark – of a psychopath, sociopath or someone amidst the antisocial personality disorder spectrum…

What Can You Do About It?

How to Deal With a Psychopath

How-to-deal-with-a-psychopath-6-item-checklist1. NO CONTACT

The very first thing to do is to crate as much separation as you can as soon as possible between yourself and the psychopath.

You need to distance yourself physically, financially, emotionally, spiritually and in any other way possible from the psychopath and cease any and all communication with him or her, period.

Any further communication or contact after correctly identifying a psychopath will only lead to more risk, or potential loss to you and yours.

Be aware that as you distance yourself, the psychopath will try to cling to you or play on your emotions in order to further victimize you. Do not fall for their manipulation or pity ploys from this point forward. They will try to appeal to your feeling but keep in mind they have no feelings and no regard for yours, except as a method to further victimize you.

You must cut them off. No contact, means no contact. Though this may not be possible, if you work or live with the psychopath; but that will be an issue to be handled specifically and independently of the scope of this primary message.

2. GET HELP

Next, you will need a strong support system. You should seek out a professional, a counselor or therapist, with experience in dealing with psychopaths. Note that early in my practice, even though individuals sought me out for assistance, I was ill-equipped to offer them the support that they needed at the time.

How can someone understand what you are going through, if they do not understand what you are going through… because – and I am as guilty of this as anyone – “things can’t really be all that bad.” But they are, and they can be very bad, and they can get worse if you do not take the appropriate actions.

Seek out a specialist, or at least someone with experience dealing with victims of psychopaths.

3. BE QUIET

Do not talk to your friends about the psychopath. You might think this is a good time to reach out to those in your circle of friends that you can depend on for support, but chances are (if the psychopath has done his or her homework) they have already gotten to them in advance.

If your friends have not been compromised by the psychopath, there is a good chance that they will be, and be forewarned very few people can compete with the ability to manipulate the minds of the unsuspecting, like the psychopath.

Keep things quiet. Do not confront your psychopath, engage in a battle of wits, challenge or attempt an intervention with your psychopath. This will only open you up for further potential pain, suffering and potential loss.

They psychopath has the uncanny ability to turn anything that you say against you. Don’t give them the opportunity.

4. STAY STRONG

Stay the course. If the psychopath has counter-attacks you, don’t respond.

If you communicate anything to this person it should only be silence. Be steadfast and unshakeable, solid as a rock.

He or she must realize that you cannot be manipulated or be bullied into making any kind of response, no matter what they do or say.

Keep a good posture, positive outlook, smile and be confident (even if you don’t feel like it) at all times.

Any indication of weakness will be seen as an opportunity either to insert themselves or launch another attack.

5. DOCUMENTATION

how-to-deal-with-a-psychopath-sociopath-david-m-mastersDocument everything. Keep hard copies of everything you can to document any interaction or statements made by your psychopath and keep it at a secure location.

Watch what you say. Act as if every word you speak is being recorded, and may be read to a jury in the future word-for-word and spun out of context in an effort to make you look like a lunatic.

Maybe someday the people who once trusted you will see the truth, but even so, if your psychopath was a masterful one, they will still wonder about you, even after the true colors of the psychopath are made known.

So, don’t hold onto the false hope of one day being vilified of all the illicit accusations that were made against you. In most cases the effects are permanent, though may fade over time. Maybe, in the afterlife…

6. FORGIVE YOURSELF

Most of all, forgive yourself. You were not the perpetrator, here, you were the victim. And as a victim you may have found yourself in vulnerable or compromising situations, and you may feel like the fool. But you were not the fool. Anyone could be victimized by the proficient psychopath and it happens every day in all walks of life and levels of society.

You could not have seen this coming… but now that you are aware, you are less likely to become a victim again… and maybe you can help others to see the signs – or at least be aware – that there are evil people out there, the virtual wolves in sheep’s clothing, who seek to destroy the lives of others without remorse.

Thank you for joining me for this message. It is my hope that this information will help to save you and other from further potential pain, suffering or loss at the hands of the psychopath. Pass this information on to others who may be potential victims.

For more information, or to contact me, visit psychopath victims dot com.

Psychopathic Smear Campaigns

One of the dead giveaways of psychopathic behavior is that of the vicious, psychotic character assassination campaigns that are wielded against anyone who stand in their way or might pose a threat to their agenda(s).

Please keep in mind that if you have become the targeted victim of a psychopath’s smear campaign, that it is nothing personal. In fact, nothing can ever be seen as “personal” to a psychopath as they are devoid of any feelings (like a normal person might have); no love, no hate, no empathy, no remorse. They only see other people as tools or possessions and may even use phrases, like:

  • psychopath-smear-campaigns-dont-respond-defend-react-negotiate-contact-use-social-mediaYou’re mine
  • I own you

And when they are done with you, they have so little regard for you that they might say:

  • I will end you
  • You will be nothing when I’m done with you

This campaign focused on your destruction need not have any basis in actual fact, as the psychopath will create an alternative universe using a method that transfers the attributes of the psychopath in an effort to discredit the victim so much that anything they might say would not be considered as a factual representation of the truth.

The battleground may include close personal relationships, workplaces and/or media (recently there has been a great deal of growth in social media arenas).

Psychopathy is no respecter of gender. A psychopathic woman conducting a smear campaign might claim that a person perceived as a threat is abusive, twisted, perverted or on the brink of sanity. If the victim(s) exerts the effort to spend a great deal of effort in defense of their character (i.e., testimony, closed circuit proof, eyewitness accounts and other relative data), the psychopath will never recount their initial claim. Instead they will put on additional pressure to even claim that he/she is in fear for his/her life and that the victim is a threat to other men, women and/children or even the future of mankind.

While destroying the life of the victim of such a psychopathic smear campaign, it sends a strong message to witnesses of the event, in effect warning them that they dare not find themselves on the wrong side of such a formidable foe.

It is quite ordinary for a normal person to spout ill reports about someone whom they feel has wronged them while in the throes of emotional trauma. In healthy individuals, as time passes and emotional healing takes place, they become much more tolerant of others who have chosen to follow a different path. Not so for the psychopath. For the psychopath it is a long-term commitment to bury their prey and sometimes it can be a lifetime obsession.

The appropriate response when attacked by a psychopathic smear campaign is not to respond, not to defend, not to react, and not to contact the predator ever again; period, as any response, no matter how negative, threatening or even a lawfully empowered response will only add fuel to the fire that runs the engine of the assailant. Do not ask the psychopath to stop or try to negotiate with him/her.

Without responding, document everything. In regards to the importance of documentation:

  • Documentation beats conversation
  • If it wasn’t documented, it didn’t happen

Seek legal recourse, venues and protection by law, if at all possible, holding the offender accountable for every word, threat or action as it occurs.

Report everything that happens to your local law enforcement agency. Even if the authorities roll their eyes at you for coming into their office to report and supply them with documentation, yet again, do it anyway. Even those who work in the service against criminals can be conned by the cunning psychopath. Stay the course, document and report everything.

Though you may be tempted to, resist posting information about your psychopathic encounter on social media as this is the devils’ playground. Also note that you should guard against sharing intimate details about your psychopathic encounters with other people because you never know who can be trusted (unless, of course, you know for a fact that the person in question is truly trustworthy). Psychopaths will manipulate those who have your confidence in order to probe you for information that feeds the psychopathic fire and they will be spreading lies about your credibility and/or sanity. Anything you say to them will be twisted and misconstrued to reflect upon you in the worst possible light.

Take away the impact of the psychopath’s abuse by having absolutely no response or contact whatsoever, and they eventually get bored and move onto some other more entertaining prey. The reaction of either the victim or others feeds their need to focus on the destruction of their prey.

Therein lays the rub. As social media becomes more accessible, we see psychopaths moving their smear campaigns to the Internet, which is much more difficult to control and can be a highly effective tool in the destruction of a victim’s character. Although the victim might have the wherewithal to ignore the fictitious ranting of the psychopath, other onlookers, unaware of the deception and those whom are fascinated by dirty laundry and drama, may provide the assailant the attention that they crave.

Reach out to a professional for support. People with no professional frame of reference or exhaustive experience dealing with psychopaths will not understand the true nature of the psychopath, and many professionals have been misled or swindled by psychopaths.

Resources include Domestic Violence workers, organizations, victim support groups, counselors or professionals with expertise in dealing with psychopathic abuse.

 

How to Report a Hater on Facebook

How-to-report-a-hater-on-facebookIf a psychopath is using facebook to attack victims:

1. Copy, paste and document all written communication
2. Send to appropiate channels victim(s), agencies, police
3. Report to facebook using online FB tools
4. Report/Block offender

Note: If you block or delete them 1st, you will not be able to document.

This from facebook:

If you are being harassed on Facebook, you can put a stop to it. Your profile is under your control, not the control of people who post to your wall. Here are a few simple steps you can take to stop people who are trying to hurt you.

Change Your Settings

Update Your Notifications Let’s start with the Account Settings. On the top right of each Facebook page there is a link called Settings. Click on that. Then click on the Notifications tab. Make sure that you are receiving an email every time someone posts to your wall, tags you in a post, tags you in a photo, tags you in your own photo, comments on your photos, comments on a photo of you, comments after you in a photo, comments on your photo albums, or comments after you in a photo album.
You also want to be notified if anyone replies to a discussion board post you made if you belong to any groups.
You also want to be notified if someone tags you in a note, comments on your notes, or comments after you in a note. Same for the links. You should also be notified if you are tagged in any videos or if anyone tags your videos. Also allow notifications of video comments about your videos or in videos in which you are featured.
Finally, you should be notified of any comments on a story on your Wall or if anyone comments after you on a Wall story.
Be sure to save your changes at the bottom of the page.
These are all areas where people can leave nasty comments or use as a way to harass other users. If the comment is made on your Wall, photos, videos, etc., you can simply delete and block the user (more on that in a minute.) If the post is made to someone else’s Wall, photos, videos, etc, you can report it. After each comment there is a link that says Report. Click it.

Change Your Privacy Settings
Go to the top right on the Facebook page and this time hover over Settings. A drop down menu appears. Go down to Privacy Settings and click on it.
We’ll start with your profile. Click on Profile Information. On this page, you will want to change all of your settings to Only Friends. Here, you can also change whether your friends can post to your Wall. If comments get particularly bad, you can uncheck this feature and no one else can post anything to your wall, even if they are on your Friends List.
Near the top on the left, click on Back to Privacy.
Click on Contact Information. There are two ways you can control this information. You can change all of these settings to Only Friends, with the exception of the Add me as a friend which you can change to Friends of Friends. Remember, you don’t have to add people as friends. You can ignore them. If you want even more privacy, you can choose the customize option and choose to make this information visible only to you.
The second way to keep this information private is to not put any of it on your profile in the first place. To edit this information, click on Profile in the upper left, then click on the Info tab. Here you can edit or remove any contact information you may have entered. You can also change who is allowed to see this information.
Back in the Privacy Settings, click on Search. Change the Facebook Search Results to Only Friends and uncheck the Public Search Results.
Go back to Privacy. Click on Block List. This is extremely useful if there are a few people who are causing you the most trouble. Simply enter their user name (their name as it appears on Facebook) and click Block. Or enter their email address and click Block. The people you put on this list will no longer be allowed to interact with you. Double check and go to your Friends List and remove these people as your friends. You have every right to do so.

Removing Content from Your Wall
If you have comments on your wall, you can delete them. On your Wall, move your mouse to the right side of the offending comment and click on Remove.

Report the Harassment
You will need to do this step before blocking a user and it will only work for people who are not on your Friends List. Go to the profile of the person who has been harassing you. Scroll all the way to the bottom of the page and in the left hand corner you will see the link Report/Block this Person. Click on it and fill out the form that appears. You can block this person at the same time. The report is kept confidential.

If the Harassment Continues
If you have changed all of your settings and blocked the people responsible, you can continue to be harassed or bashed on Facebook. If a friend notifies you that there is someone who is continuing to bash you or try to get others to harass you, ask your friend to report these people as outlined in the Report the Harassment section.